I'm writing this completely unnecessary story here because I'm ashamed to share what's going on in my head with anyone, if it's not anonymous. The truth is that I myself do not know what is happening - it is complete chaos, so I will be happy to give some advice. So, I'm a 17-year-old boy, a rebel, I don't split anyone's basma, I'm not up for a serious relationship. To be honest, I only use girls for sex, but I always tell myself directly what I want beforehand and let them decide for themselves. My lifestyle is influenced by my company and so I started smoking weed at the age of 13, I have been using heavier drugs for a year, but in small quantities. I can control myself and I know when to stop - that's what all future addicts obviously say, but I'm absolutely sure of myself. I want to try everything in this life, but obviously these things are not enough for me and now I have started to do some inexplicable nonsense and so I get annoyed with myself - I have a bisexual friend, I generally do not support this thing a man to be with a man and so on, but this man acts somehow strange to my great curiosity, and without realizing it lately, I began to ask him too much what it was like to touch a boy. I'm afraid he won't think I'm suggesting something to him, I have no desire to touch a man, but the stories excite me and I just want to watch from the side how he has sex with a man. I played gay porn, but it doesn't work that way, quite the opposite. If I tell this to one of my friends they will make me bisexual, but in fact I hate the idea of having sex with a man and I would never try. But if I wouldn't, what's the explanation for that? what's going on in my head and why does my bisexual friend act like that? I will be happy if you share your opinion, because I am extremely ashamed of myself because of these things and I do not know what to do.
Answers 5
When you feel, so you are repulsed by the thought of touching a man calmly. I'm a girl and I play gay porn, and it's very exciting for me. And why are you ashamed of yourself? Even from anyone, these things may not even matter in 5 years. Always ask yourself, "Will this matter in 5 years?" In any awkward situation, this thought always helps me.
If it works like that, just stop contacting him. At this age, it is easy to be deceived out of curiosity and let them say that I once became like that. Don't do something you can only regret out of curiosity.
I think you subconsciously want to have sex with a man. Even if you do it once, I don't think you will become bisexual or homosexual after that. You will try something new.
Whatever you feel you are, whatever you want to be, if you are surrounded by people who have taken something for granted, you will be weird, different. You are the rebel who stands against one norm of a group of people, but you follow the example of another's life, which makes you feel a sense of belonging. Your friends experience the same thing and ask themselves the same questions. There are many more interesting and exciting things in life than sex and drugs. You have the potential to try everything, but you feel how "empty" these experiences are. This makes you want more, stronger emotions and feelings than what you are used to accepting. In every sense. It's all a habit. It's not your character. It's not what others love or want to love about you. When you are bored, you look in the wrong place. Girl of 17.
You are still young, do not do reckless things that you may regret in the future. You don't split anyone's basma now, but think about it in the future! You'll tell your kids, "I'm not gay, but I let a friend fix me out of curiosity." I think drugs have unlocked a void in you that you're looking to fill in some way. And from indiscriminate sex you start to get bored of the girls and that's why you have such thoughts towards your boyfriend. It's better to catch a serious friend, sometimes only one can get you on the right track. Love changes a person. Believe me, I know it from personal experience. Male at 35