Hello, everyone! (The story is too long, sincere and deep. Not recommended for people with weak hearts, empty stomachs and heartlessness! I'm not writing this for the first time here, I hope it's not the last. I'm a boy, I wouldn't say that I am normal, compared to others around me (my peers). At the age of 15, thank God, I have a family, living healthy parents, but I do not know why I do not have siblings.: D: D I'm studying, I'm in 9th grade, I wouldn't say my grades are good, but it's better than nothing! Maybe it's not just me, but a number of other factors as well. Find out what I mean. if my story is approved, which I very much hope you will notice, the story you are currently reading is quite long. In this story I will tell you about my life, my childhood, friends, school, relatives, unrequited love, beliefs, beliefs, a boy who can't fit anywhere, who is looking for, but doesn't know if he will find, and everything the rest that surrounds me or (him). From the very beginning, I want to tell you that I am of Roma origin. (I don't know what questions and answers are going through your mind at the moment ...)
But I hope the other person reading this story is not some complex racist. I've heard enough insults from all sorts of people, at least don't act here! That's how you found out I was ... "BARBECUE" and for that reason, if the story is approved at all, you can easily tease me and poison the page, or give back and read someone else's problem. It's not my problem, it's just schizophrenia! Or I don't know, no matter how you explain it, I agree! I don't know where to start ... I live in a small town. As I said before, for some people (for everyone around me) I am not normal. For ours I am not poisoned enough, for my friends I am not cool and attractive enough ... Abe I will start from the beginning ... As a child I was very ill, many hospitals, a doctor and I ... the eternal patient. It happened as it happened for some reason I had to be admitted to a hospital in Sofia permanently alone. In a situation where I had been to any hospital until then, I always got up with my mother. I was then about 11-12 years old. For better or worse, I forgot some things (already). Others do not. I remember that I didn't get up for very long. Now I think so, but then those three months seemed like an eternity. There, one of the bigger poop in the hospital bothered me a lot. He always took it from me for dinner. I remember one night, for some reason, the only thing we were given for dinner was something like a gerbeck, only it wasn't from the usual circle, it was straight. Almost like salami, only a little fuller on the sides, otherwise it was just that long. I remember tearing it from my crotch, or whatever it was, half for myself. It can be said that I was subjected not only to physical but also to mental harassment. I was systematically abused by her. She was at least 16-17 years old.
There was no one to share with because I was thinking, and they probably wouldn't believe me. Ours from the countryside came to visit as often as possible. And I didn't share it with ours, I looked as cheerful and positive as possible to pretend in front of them. Harassment was enough for me, I didn't want to bother them either! But on the other hand, the doctors and nurses were as fair to everyone as possible. At least they have nothing to complain about. They were on shifts. With some of them we were closer, with others - not so much. Anyway. After those three months, my mother and grandmother came to call me. For at least a week, I couldn't believe I was home. At any moment, I expected to wake up and see the faces I had seen for three months again. As you can guess, this stage passed somehow. Then I went to school again. Fortunately, although there were almost a month and a half until the big vacation, I managed to cope. I don't know why I don't have many memories after that.
I remember how basically some students were smarter than others. Some more aggressive than others. Fortunately, I wasn't one of the smartest in the class, let alone aggressive. I remember how those years passed just like that. And now the aggressive ones in the class haven't changed. But on the other hand, the smart girls in the class don't seem to be very different from the others in the neighborhood, in general, from the ordinary man in my circle. I will not talk much about my beliefs, beliefs and religion, because I do not want to swell you. I will only tell you that the true church is the one that differs the most from the ordinary, the most different from it. The one that does not allow you many of the permissible things. Namely - the Biblical. Anyway, our pastor organizes trips all the time. I'll tell you something I'm sure will intrigue you that you haven't heard of, something you've certainly never heard of! ... In our neighborhood, and not only, in my circles in general, but this is also something ordinary and common. For the day of spring, March 22, a crowned evening is held in my circles. Every single person I mean who is not married and is 13-14 years old gathers with their party/group of friends. Each boy and girl buys clothes individually according to the capabilities of his family.
Accordingly, everyone is with his lady/gentleman. And there the devil does what he wants. Lots of alcohol, cigarettes, even drugs. Without the supervision of their families, they are free to do whatever they want, with whomever they want. Of course not without the consent of the partner. I don't know how you, the Bulgarians, celebrate it, but we "GRILLS" do it like that;) And they do it, every year on this day our Pastor Elijah, arrange travel, bus, not less than 50-60 passengers. Of course, if there are more people willing to come with us, the pastor hires a bigger bus, but there are no people willing to come with more than 50-60 people. So, we are visiting somewhere in the country, and not only, only and only we are not there at this moment, and because the main thing happens after 20:00 h. we sleep two or three nights with brothers and sisters in Christ Jesus. And every year is exciting, cool, attractive.
Memories of such trips always come to mind, which everyone remembers with the warmest feelings. It was one of these trips that turned out to be fatal to my view of the opposite sex, or maybe not. But we'll talk about that later. Arranged in chronological order, the most important things that have happened in my life, it is the turn of that fatal day that I told you about not so long ago. The day I fell in love with the boy, which will always have power over me. In relation to my religion, I should not be dependent on anything but God! As I said at the beginning, it is simply impossible for us to ever be together, for reasons and facts, which I will list below. Yes, I never mustered up the courage, and I will hardly ever be able to tell her how I feel about her. For better or worse, she found out from my friends, who I don't know if it was good or not, that they had somehow told her that they might have betrayed me, but she understood. On the other hand, I guess I would have won if my friends hadn't told her. I would hardly ever tell her. But she would hardly understand in any other way the real thing I feel for her, except for something somewhere for fate to intervene, which I do not hope for.
It was still for me, it will probably never be enough for me just to watch her from afar. It is unlikely that my feelings for her will ever come true. I forgot who, but a famous writer once said that one can forget everything as long as one is given enough time. Well I refute this writer. No matter how much time I am given, I don't think I will ever forget it. She is the girl of my dreams. She was enough for me. I read somewhere that "If you have love, you don't need anything else! If you don't have love, it doesn't matter what else you have!" Well, I don't have love and it doesn't matter what else I have. This is the feeling blissful, provided in the heart. It is not bought with money. It is not a game, although there are people who perceive it as such. To be continued ... The Continue ... as long as he is given enough time.
Well, I refute this writer. No matter how much time I am given, I don't think I will ever forget it. She is the girl of my dreams. She was enough for me. I read somewhere that "If you have love, you don't need anything else! If you don't have love, it doesn't matter what else you have!" Well, I don't have love and it doesn't matter what else I have. This is the feeling blissful, provided in the heart. It is not bought with money. It is not a game, although there are people who perceive it as such. To be continued ... The Continue ... as long as he is given enough time.
Well, I refute this writer. No matter how much time I am given, I don't think I will ever forget it. She is the girl of my dreams. She was enough for me. I read somewhere that "If you have love, you don't need anything else! If you don't have love, it doesn't matter what else you have!" Well, I don't have love and it doesn't matter what else I have. This is the feeling blissful, provided in the heart. It is not bought with money. It is not a game, although there are people who perceive it as such. To be continued ... The Continue ... it doesn't matter what else you have! "Well, I don't have love, and it doesn't matter what else I have. It's a blissful feeling in my heart. It's not bought with money. It's not a game, although there are people who take it for granted. ... The Continue ... it doesn't matter what else you have! "Well, I don't have love, and it doesn't matter what else I have. It's a blissful feeling in my heart. It's not bought with money. It's not a game, although there are people who take it for granted. ... The Continue ...
Answers 5
You are very kind, you write beautifully! ... There is no evidence that you are not Bulgarian, I do not want to offend the Roma, there are wonderful, cheerful people among them. You are sensitive and intelligent, rarely for a boy. You can become a writer, keep writing down your thoughts and impressions. As for your unrequited love - do not suffer! You are happy that you love, and God has said that when we give we should not want to be repaid, to be given back the same ... But I sincerely wish you to meet the shared love that will give you real, happy moments !! You deserve it! Everyone has gone this way, me too, when I have fallen in love unsuccessfully. This should give you hope and strength, not indulge in bad thoughts or actions. Believe in yourself, in your Self! When we go through trials no matter how much it hurts, we purify ourselves and become stronger for life! Love and you will be loved! If not from this girl, then the world will find another, even more beautiful and with a better heart! With the most sincere feelings for you: Laura
Well done author - you are a great guy to know! By the way, I know a lot from your people, and from the church, I even know one of the hosts of radio Emanuel was called - post a link, this is an Internet Christian Roma radio - the savings are not my taste, otherwise - OK. It is a pity that the evangelists take care of you in this way while our church sleeps and sleeps the needs not only of the Roma, but of all Christians. .. otherwise, the holiday you are talking about was imported in May by the church - it is a western holiday - they call it "May" otherwise it must be on May 1, I know - but it comes from pagan times and is not something special, but it is not in principle, a Christian holiday, another question is that it unites the municipality, etc. For the girl - write now, why can't you be together, it became very interesting. Otherwise, all people your age have your torments, not because of ethnicity, etc. You don't have brothers or sisters, because yours gave birth to you in the 90s, and then it was a terrible crisis, you can't even imagine - ask them. People have made up their minds to offer you a future first. Lie down behind the textbooks! But you know you can't stay in this small town. There are a lot of people from your church in Sofia, they help each other a lot, but I advise you not to close yourself in the community, to be open to other people, including Bulgarian women. You may have been a victim of racists, but in big cities, where young people without parents and family sing to them "who is this gypsy", it no longer matters - Bulgarian women like dark-skinned men otherwise, if they are educated and normal - and you you are. Try to follow anyway, despite the bad success, and the Bulgarians do it. If you do not want - immediately in Sofia, in the beginning the brothers will help you, but I say again - integrate in the city and outside the Roma and outside your church. In my family we had another case - my cousin, blond and white, had fallen in love with a Roma woman - they did not give it to him, they wanted 15,000 euros + Mercedes, the second because he was very blond !!! etc. - he even called my uncle to organize theft, but my cousin did not want to and has been suffering from this Roma for 10 years ... Hey, that's it - crazy prejudices on both sides. Only in the big cities one can live together, in my opinion, where the old ones are gone, the party is going on, everyone is a colleague and the ethnicity doesn't matter ... - my uncle even called for theft to be organized, but my cousin didn't want to and has been suffering from this Roma woman for 10 years now ... That's it - crazy prejudices on both sides. Only in the big cities one can live together, in my opinion, where the old ones are gone, the party is going on, everyone is a colleague and the ethnicity doesn't matter ... - my uncle even called for theft to be organized, but my cousin didn't want to and has been suffering from this Roma woman for 10 years now ... That's it - crazy prejudices on both sides. Only in the big cities one can live together, in my opinion, where the old ones are gone, the party is going on, everyone is a colleague and the ethnicity doesn't matter ...
I didn't read what you wrote because it's long. I took a look at the comments and saw that it says that you are of Roma origin. I don't know exactly what it is about, but I want to say something about the gypsies. I am Bulgarian and I am a person who has communicated with many people and all kinds. I had a Roma friend, or rather she was from the Kaldarashi - there is no such person as her. I think of her every day, that's how I love her. No Bulgarian, Spanish, Portuguese, French can displace her. I miss him so much. He was an amazing man. She hadn't been to school, even though she wanted to, you know, only stealing, fighting, and serving. She was harassed a lot. Like all Kaldarashki. She hadn't been to school, but she read, wrote, and spoke better than I did. With an extremely rich vocabulary. There was no topic to step on - politics, music, cinema. There was no song whose lyrics he did not know. There was no actor, politician, or singer who did not know. I trusted everything - it was a grave for secrets. He understood me like no one else. A sense of humor - he was killing the fish. I felt sick laughing. He loved me, showed it and proved it. We used to fight, she roared, I was shaking all over. We haven't talked in a week. The hardest in my life. She forgave me everything and she was the only one I forgave. She was smaller than me. He was by my side in my most difficult moments. He turned his back on me. We were inseparable. We went to the toilet together and so on ... I can talk a lot about her and all the good things. I just can't say anything bad about her. So do not put the Roma under a common denominator, please. Yes, there are all kinds. But there are some of them that we need to give a chance to, people. From my experience in communicating with gypsies, I can say that the gypsies may be simpler and uneducated / the mass / but at heart they are much cleaner and better than the Bulgarians. There is no malice, no sense of greatness, etc. So, if you are wondering what happened to the girl in question, they sold her. Now he is in another city and steals day and night - don't think he does it more willingly - no. No choice. Such are their traditions - they teach you to steal with fight, hunger and humiliation, they sell you to another family, where the same fate awaits you, they go to prison, get out and go on again. Who is to blame or not the gypsies or the Bulgarians are to blame. The guilt is in the GYPSY TRADITIONS. If they are removed legally in some way, we will all be better off. Because this type of gypsies live with the money stolen from the Bulgarians. They don't know what a job is all their lives. Kaldarash children will not be taught to steal and sell. They will study like us. The cobblestones are beautiful, among other things, most of you can't say they're gypsies. I am angry only at these stupid traditions, which it is high time to put an end to. My girlfriend, her new family does not allow her phone. He has no right to talk to me. Is this life. Everyone is like that. If they return home without money - see what happens .. She cooks for them, cleans, washes, brings money, looks after her child, who will go the same way. When she was pregnant, what a fight she ate from her father-in-law and mother-in-law ... If you're wondering how I know I have her husband's phone. She won't let me talk to her, but she tells me what's going on and I send her greetings. It's good that at least she came across a decent man. Most are not so lucky. So it all comes down to their stupid traditions. I'm sorry, author, that I'm writing these things in your topic, but it weighed on my heart and made me feel better. I am angry only at these stupid traditions, which it is high time to put an end to. My girlfriend, her new family does not allow her phone. He has no right to talk to me. Is this life. Everyone is like that. If they return home without money - see what happens .. She cooks for them, cleans, washes, brings money, looks after her child, who will go the same way. When she was pregnant, what a fight she ate from her father-in-law and mother-in-law ... If you're wondering how I know I have her husband's phone. She won't let me talk to her, but she tells me what's going on and I send her greetings. It's good that at least she came across a decent man. Most are not so lucky. So it all comes down to their stupid traditions. I'm sorry, author, that I'm writing these things in your topic, but it weighed on my heart and made me feel better. I am angry only at these stupid traditions, which it is high time to put an end to. My girlfriend, her new family does not allow her phone. He has no right to talk to me. Is this life. Everyone is like that. If they return home without money - see what happens .. She cooks for them, cleans, washes, brings money, looks after her child, who will go the same way. When she was pregnant, what a fight she ate from her father-in-law and mother-in-law ... If you're wondering how I know I have her husband's phone. She won't let me talk to her, but she tells me what's going on and I send her greetings. It's good that at least she came across a decent man. Most are not so lucky. So it all comes down to their stupid traditions. I'm sorry, author, that I'm writing these things in your topic, but it weighed on my heart and made me feel better. her new family does not allow her phone. He has no right to talk to me. Is this life. Everyone is like that. If they return home without money - see what happens .. She cooks for them, cleans, washes, brings money, looks after her child, who will go the same way. When she was pregnant, what a fight she ate from her father-in-law and mother-in-law ... If you're wondering how I know I have her husband's phone. She won't let me talk to her, but she tells me what's going on and I send her greetings. It's good that at least she came across a decent man. Most are not so lucky. So it all comes down to their stupid traditions. I'm sorry, author, that I'm writing these things in your topic, but it weighed on my heart and made me feel better. her new family does not allow her phone. He has no right to talk to me. Is this life. Everyone is like that. If they return home without money - see what happens .. She cooks for them, cleans, washes, brings money, looks after her child, who will go the same way. When she was pregnant, what a fight she ate from her father-in-law and mother-in-law ... If you're wondering how I know I have her husband's phone. She won't let me talk to her, but she tells me what's going on and I send her greetings. It's good that at least she came across a decent man. Most are not so lucky. So it all comes down to their stupid traditions. I'm sorry, author, that I'm writing these things in your topic, but it weighed on my heart and made me feel better. When she was pregnant, what a fight she ate from her father-in-law and mother-in-law ... If you're wondering how I know I have her husband's phone. She won't let me talk to her, but she tells me what's going on and I send her greetings. It's good that at least she came across a decent man. Most are not so lucky. So it all comes down to their stupid traditions. Sorry, author, for writing these things in your topic, but it weighed on my heart and made me feel better. When she was pregnant, what a fight she ate from her father-in-law and mother-in-law ... If you're wondering how I know I have her husband's phone. She won't let me talk to her, but she tells me what's going on and I send her greetings. It's good that at least she came across a decent man. Most are not so lucky. So it all comes down to their stupid traditions. I'm sorry, author, that I'm writing these things in your topic, but it weighed on my heart and made me feel better.
Learn to write and then make yourself cultural ..!
Author, everyone feels a little misunderstood, rejected, etc. in a certain part of their lives. You are only 15 years old, after 2-3 years this feeling will slowly decrease and so on :) Otherwise you write very well - it's fascinating. As for the girl - the first true love is never forgotten, but after it there will be many others :) Like I said, you're only 15. Live your life! :) Good luck