I am a married woman of 29 years. I soon started a new job. One of the colleagues does not stop teasing me and making hints even in front of other colleagues. I love my husband and I don't care about other men. I am quite shy and kind and I do not dare to make a remark and complain, and when this colleague speaks to me I do not know how to react. I just ignore it and say nothing. I pass by and do my job. He has a girlfriend. I just once hinted to him that he had a great girl so he could think about what he was doing to them. It's very unusual for me to be a group, to push people away, so I just stand aside, I don't talk and I don't deal. Sometimes I worry that I can't handle life. My husband is of the opinion that I react correctly, but I am also afraid to be rude, because I have been at this job for a month and I do not want to create conflicts. Everywhere I go I see him constantly looking at me, he is looking for me to be by my side, he is looking for an occasion to pat me on the shoulder, to hug me, to come and help me with something. Leaving only the two of us in the room makes a hint to me, etc. I just pretend not to hear. I hope it goes away soon, because I'm ashamed to go to work anymore.
Answers 6
So look, there's a difference between being picky and upholding your dignity. Sometimes in life, even good and shy people have to say two stories to be heard from the other side. Obviously you can't change your character, but you can defend yourself. Your situation is nasty. I'm not a bad prophet, but she's potentially risky and losing just for you. If you are shy, everyone can play with you as they wish. Men don't sleep, they flirt for fun, the fact that they have girlfriends doesn't stop them. However, you enjoy this flirtation and you have to admit it in order to take action. It is not a trivial problem at all. Either you put this one in its place, or you're looking for another job. Don't ruin your family for some adventure. If you see the other topics on the site, a lot of people have been scalded by colleagues. In the end, it was never worth it. And you learned to have self-esteem and how to defend it! It is not a virtue to endure, on the contrary, it is just a virtue to express a position in this life for everything. Shyness only makes you a victim ...
Hah, if you only suspect what fun awaits you, you will not be shy at all.
Here is a situation that shows how useful direct communication is. For example, I have no interest in my colleagues, but I treat them in a similar way. It just makes it more fun, they laugh, they enjoy attention, I brush their egos. Nice to meet you too. I'm just trying not to be rude. But I am also a human being and it is quite possible to make a mistake and cross a border. That's why I count on the fact that if I get oiled, the lady in question will just let me know that this is not the case. And I would apologize. Understand, your colleague does not read minds. It is quite possible that there is no real interest and just drifting. But since you don't like it, you don't have to and shouldn't put up with it. Tell him. In his place, I would not be angry, I would even appreciate the openness between colleagues and friends.
Introduce him to your husband.
You did very well to tell your husband. Your honesty is commendable. Tell this little man that his behavior is unacceptable and stop. Right in the eyes. You don't have to worry about having conflicts at work. Brother.
You catch him and say quite politely to him: "Colleague, if you like, stop with these hints. I am happily married. I want us to keep our good collegial relations, but nothing more than that."