Hello, It is difficult for me to describe the situation, because I do not know what to think, but I will still try: I am 27 years old and I have a friend of 8 months. In general, we understand each other, he tries very hard and regularly testifies to his love for me. I always reciprocate, but lately I've been worried that I'm just starting to feel like a friend. I do not have the feeling of a love affair, but of a very nice and expensive friendship. He's a great boy, of course with some flaws, but ... I'm starting to hate that I can't appreciate him. The reason for this is another man I have known for 2 years, but only recently has he moved into my life more seriously. I liked him for a long time, but he had a girlfriend at the time, and I didn't expect him to pay attention to me, so I knocked him out of my head. One day he just wrote to me, because before that we came across a restaurant by accident and the headaches started. We went out a few times, had a good time until he announced that he was in love with me and would like us to be together. I explained to him that it could not happen because I had a friend, but he said that he would fight for me and win me over. Somehow he managed to get under my skin and I told him with all my mind that things could work out. I kind of gave him hope, which he is very happy about. I talked to my friend, told him I wanted to break up. This crushed him, and his reaction made me feel disgusted with myself. We spent a day like that, I couldn't stand it and I asked him to forgive me. I felt like my arm had been torn off, a huge part of me was missing because I would lose it forever. When the other person found out that I had done so, he reacted very badly. I didn't expect such a thing at all - he cried, he begged me ... I didn't know how to make him feel better, I became rude and cold, which made him angry. He said that I had hurt him a lot, that I had lied to him and that he never wanted to see me again. If one day I realize, I should tell him, but until then I should not measure myself in front of his eyes. I have never had this "luxury" to choose between two madly in love men, I am always in the role of the sufferer. That's why I'm very afraid of making the wrong choice. I know that the final decision is mine, but I want to read other opinions. What should I do Thank you! * I kindly ask the moderators to post my topic, because I urgently need advice. that I hurt him a lot, that I lied to him, and that he never wanted to see me again. If one day I realize, I should tell him, but until then I should not measure myself in front of his eyes. I have never had this "luxury" to choose between two madly in love men, I am always in the role of the sufferer. That's why I'm very afraid of making the wrong choice. I know that the final decision is mine, but I want to read other opinions. What should I do? Thank you! * I kindly ask the moderators to post my topic, because I urgently need advice. that I hurt him a lot, that I lied to him, and that he never wanted to see me again. If one day I realize, I should tell him, but until then I should not measure myself in front of his eyes. I have never had this "luxury" to choose between two madly in love men, I am always in the role of the sufferer. That's why I'm very afraid of making the wrong choice. I know that the final decision is mine, but I want to read other opinions. What should I do? Thank you! * I kindly ask the moderators to post my topic, because I urgently need advice. That's why I'm very afraid of making the wrong choice. I know that the final decision is mine, but I want to read other opinions. What should I do? Thank you! * I kindly ask the moderators to post my topic, because I urgently need advice. That's why I'm very afraid of making the wrong choice. I know that the final decision is mine, but I want to read other opinions. What should I do? Thank you! * I kindly ask the moderators to publish my topic, because I urgently need advice.
Answers 13
... followed by 28 comments in the style of "listen to your heart" - what exactly does the remark mean, who and what meaning in it is another topic, but the important thing is that it is used mostly for such cases when a confused and insecure woman wonder what exactly he wants ..! Too bad for your ex-boyfriend - I suggest you leave him alone to experience it somehow and look after his life .. And you will have the freedom to fall in love and try at will - until you understand what you want! They did that, I learned that from the women and ... what else can I tell you - Listen to my heart, in a few months listen to it again, in a few more months and ... they do. Change and try until he gets tired of the "heart" and then when you understand what you want you can call the current friend again, that is, keep him in reserve just in case, and fuck with the one where the "heart"
The pain that you describe as a severed arm clearly shows you who your person is, sometimes we ourselves do not realize how much a person means to us, who has proven himself in time with his actions and care for us. On the other hand, if you really don't feel like a man, a lover but just a friend, you can risk number 2, but BUT you're more likely to get frustrated because once a person gives an ultimatum to a relationship that hasn't started yet, you may he does it for good and bad, we here with more experience can't tell you which is the better option for you, just consider the situation calmly, but don't communicate with two at the same time.
Neither of them manipulates how devastated they are to lose you, but in general these are empty words You know the saying-a man drips blood from his mouth-ate raspberry jam Do you let one pull you by one hand , and the other for the other, you will only waste your time between two elementary manipulators
In order for the second to enter your heart, obviously the love with the first was not so real. Think hard. You yourself, who do you want? Who do you Love? Who do you see in the future? Answering these questions will make it easier for you to make your choice. We don't know either of you, and I don't believe we can tell you who to choose. I was in the same situation, but after asking myself these questions, I realized what I wanted.
1, 28 comments and one for your spelling mistakes. Here is where the expression comes from - "you had a friend, I have a TV, but I also go to the movies". Now if you refuse your first friend, take the second, he kicks you out and abandons you, you will get a very interesting situation.
Apparently your ex (already) friend is quite a decent man, it is better for him not to communicate with a woman like you.
I am in exactly the same situation and I understand you very well. HOW to make such a decision given that in both cases he will lose. On the one hand you lose the person who loves you, and on the other you sacrifice yourself ...
You don't deserve the first one. The second ... if you spend a little time with him, you will see his other face - "my balls are small, that's why I push / push into someone else's, because if it happens, my balls will become a little bigger", of course after that he will beat your jester under the pretext of distrust or something. The bigger problem for you, however, is that you have already shown a part of your real face, you have planted the seed of doubt in the present. Well, if he is one of the worthy men ... he will soon have given himself a correct account / conclusion about what is happening and you will be left with a finger in ... there, and it will be even worse if he decides to give you the same medicine. "accidentally" to catch him with another. Congratulations, from now on you can put your finger "there" in anticipation of the inevitable. Hah, so far you've always been the "sufferer", there was a reason
All three of you are feeling bad right now. So you definitely have to make a choice that you stand up for. In my opinion, you are more attached to your current friend than love. So I think it's better for both of you to split up, it seems like a matter of time anyway. It is obvious that you have feelings for each other with the other boy. Give these relationships a chance to develop or just give yourself time to be alone for a while and rethink things. In both cases you will not go wrong. It will be most stressful for you to stay in a relationship that has run out or to sink into hesitation. Act boldly.
so why are you playing them both? I have had such a case, I am not with either of them, you will meet so many others, first you clarify for yourself what you want and then you talk to them.
In order to have feelings for the other, it is obvious, as you yourself said, that the feelings you feel for your partner have been exhausted or changed. That is, you accept him more as a friend. After you left him, quite naturally, you felt guilt caused by the remorse you had, because you know what you are losing and you know the real value of this person. So far so good. You return to him, but the dilemma continues. Normally, otherwise you wouldn't be writing here. The answer for me, after this brief analysis, is clear. If your friend was enough for you and was the right person for you, you would never leave him for someone else. And if you were only physically attracted to the second person, you would still not leave your boyfriend, you experience him and continue your relationship. But in fact, betting on the safe and the one who loves you, at the moment, I personally think is a mistake. And because of the conscience and guilt in question. Experience this feeling, the other has already been experienced. You can bet on something completely uncertain, you may regret it, but it's better to regret something you've experienced than to miss a chance. Still, think things through and don't be so influenced by someone's opinion, we can only guess. Success!
Really ... listen to your heart :)
It is paradoxical that you are doing exactly what they have done to you in your words. You do not know what you want! You both want a relationship and you run away from it. Girl, things won't end here with your current friend or your future one (I'm referring to the latter and everyone else after him). Unfortunately, I am of the opinion (already tested) that the wheel turns and what you do - you get it over time. Contrary to the comments above mine, your current friend neither deserves you nor deserves you. Falling in love with you, do you have a good relationship, moments, stories and so on. You have cooled down to him, you feel only regret (you shouldn't cause him this anymore), but life goes on and he will forgive you sooner or later! And it won't be any different with the next one, nor with the next one, and so on until you come to terms with the fact that you have to start a family, to be with only one person. It is not clear when and with whom this will happen. As a bad prophet, I would only tell you that things will not work out with this one either and I will explain to you why: he is just looking at you as a hard-won toy and the moment you get together everything will be wonderful for a short a period of time (I give a maximum of a year) until he wants another such difficult toy, because you will have already become uninteresting to him. In short: he accepts that you have a friend, he wants to separate you from him, thinking that he has lost his mind about you, but once he owns you, things will be more normal for him and he will lose interest sooner or later, and you will pray to your ex to reunite. If that doesn't happen, I can tell you that you will break up because of trust. Neither he nor you will trust each other.