A Huge Secret

   Author, how to give you advice when we don't know what this huge secret is ?! When you learned it, are you sure that the person next to you doesn't know it? To think, to guess? Apart from being adopted, I don't care comes to mind.

   For me, and for most people, the truth comes first. It may hurt, but the pain is one. And if you keep silent in front of your closest person, the pain becomes double, because this is already a betrayal.

   Since we do not know what the secret is, there is no way we can give you advice - to reassure you that it is good to be silent or to encourage you to say. If it's infidelity, don't tell.

   depends, the question is asked too generally. 1. Would the person want to learn it or not, but really, not just in words? people often say they want to know the truth, but in fact most prefer to sink into blissful ignorance. 2. Will he win if he knows her? what will change for him and will it be for the better? (for example, if he throws a parasite out of his life, well, if his life collapses?) if it's infidelity, it's better to keep quiet if you're not part of the triangle. you don't know what the real family relationship is, so don't interfere

   Tell me the secret and it will be easier for you! Come on, as long as you've carried this burden on your shoulders for so long. I know you want to tell me and get it over with, tell me what it's about, I'll listen to you. Don't bother with that anymore. Tell the secret :-)

   If your loved one is your brother and takes drugs, tell your parents. If your loved one is your father and your mother is cheating on him, don't tell him. If your dear man and your husband, and you are pregnant, but not from him, do not tell him. There are many options. You have to say exactly what the case is in order to get adequate advice.

   First, does this directly affect you? Second - to keep it a secret, there are usually reasons that you may not be very good, but that does not mean that you can take action on their own. Third - you have given very scarce information, if you decide to share more, I think you will receive more adequate advice.

   Guess what the secret is .... who is adopted, your husband?

   It depends on the secret. If he is just your friend, don't tell him, but if you love each other too much and have endless trust, you have shared difficult moments, you can tell him ...

   I would advise you to ask yourself a very simple question: if I tell him, respectively, he finds out this secret, will it hurt him a lot, will he suffer a lot? If the answer is YES, you better shut up. There is no excuse for inflicting pain on a person you claim to be loved. Are you going to strike with the pretext that it's good? And what good is it if a person suffers and his world collapses. There's no point. However, if the secret concerns you, all kinds of idiocies occur - I just quote: that the child is not his or that he is not a child of his father, do I know ... (here on this site soon stubbornly advised a "donor candidate" "yes" made a baby "for his friend's wife" because it didn't work out for them - I'm shocked at all that someone finds it normal, and also gives advice, and in general, how can a man think of wanting such a thing! ) or something so disgusting - then I can no longer give advice. But none - everyone acts according to their conscience and no one outside can help!

   Much depends on what the secret is. If it's something that only affects you and him, tell him, but if it's something that affects other people, think about them. If you accidentally learned that he was adopted, for example, you should talk to his adoptive parents about it, because revealing the secret will affect his relationship with them. You also need to think about what will hurt him more. To tell the truth or to be silent when he learns to accuse you of not telling him. It is complicated, and it depends a lot on what the secret is and how many people will be affected by its disclosure.