Hello, everyone. I apologize for the spelling but I don't have nerves for punctuation. I ask mostly people who have had the same or a similar problem as mine to share their experience of how they managed to prevent everything. In short, a young handsome and successful boy almost a man of almost 24 years. I have been diagnosed with OCD and mild to moderate depression depending on external factors. The problem is that I am extremely sensitive to the past of the partner next to me and because I have already broken relationships because of this monster, I tried in the last one just not to ask and to know .. God forbid if I hear something I will not like .. That day we talked to the new girl who in itself adores and adores me .. Her sincerity can't be compared to anything else in this world, frank that she's so stupid haha .. We talked, we talked and she started to get into the topic of exes, experiences and so on and because at that moment everything starts to rage and rage inside me I tried to delicately change the topic but it was not felt and continued and we got to a point where I could no longer keep the interest under control and we started talking like her I asked the main things with how much how why what and and and .. I didn't like what I heard, of course, because it's quite heavy due to the fact that it's hard to hear and it hurts .. Why does it hurt? Because it's one thing for 100 people to have wanted her and for her to have allowed 4-5 only and for me to be 5, for example, it's another thing for them to have wanted 100 and she's 30, for example. In the first version I'm one of the few I would felt special in the other, however, I am one of the many that makes me perceive myself as inferior. I'm not like that for her, I say again that she adores me, but the problem is that I don't consider myself special in this regard because she had a lot before me. I know what comments I would read: "What do you care about the past, isn't it with you now?" "Why do you ask when you don't want to know" I trust my fantasy! "It's important to you now, isn't it" - yes, but I explained my problem, I don't feel special, even though I see that I'm for it! I am interested in the opinion of people who have had this retrospective jealousy (towards the past) and how they overcame it. Greetings! "What do you care about the past is with you now" "Why do you ask when you don't want to know" -because my imagination works from the fucking OCD and it's better to know the truth of how it all really happened than to trust my fantasy! "It's important to you now, isn't it" - yes, but I explained my problem, I don't feel special, even though I see that I'm for it! I am interested in the opinion of people who have had this retrospective jealousy (towards the past) and how they overcame it. Greetings! "What do you care about the past is with you now" "Why do you ask when you don't want to know" - because my imagination works from the fucking OCD and it's better to know the truth of how everything really happened than to trust my fantasy! "It's important to you now, isn't it" - yes, but I explained my problem, I don't feel special, even though I see that I'm for it! I am interested in the opinion of people who have had this retrospective jealousy (towards the past) and how they overcame it. Greetings!
Answers 7
If you are looking for something in the other, it will not be bad to first think about whether you can offer the same. I know people who live a clean life and keep to marriage even but are believers. He walked around the churches - not the Catholic ones. You can find clean people there. Good luck.
My husband and I have had both long and very short-lived relationships. We met in the 30s though. We don't ask ourselves that much.
Go get treatment, stay in psychiatric institutions, get better (if you can at all) and only then think of wasting a woman's time. A separate question is
"Extremely sensitive to the past of the partner next to me and because I have already broken ties because of this monster, I tried in the last just not to ask and know .. God forbid if I hear something that I will not like .." - this is not a vice in order to have a secure relationship, there must be no secret life. You don't have to cross-examine your partner, it will certainly ruin the relationship. It would be best (in my opinion) to ask at the outset if in the future it is possible to hear something immoral about the partner, something that would subsequently kill the trust. The smart ones guess what I mean, and the muffins will be affected immediately. There is a good saying, whatever you lie on, you will lie on. You can't live like a whore and then want no one to ask about your immoral life. If you want no interrogations, live wisely!
From the author how to overcome this retrospective jealousy, please people with experience to write ...
In my opinion, your many questions and your desire for everything to be perfect in the relationship is due to your OCD. You have a good relationship, almost perfect, but again because of the OCD you keep looking for something imperfect to come out of nowhere and the thought of it drives you crazy, right? I make the connection with OCD because I have a similar problem, constantly torturing myself to see if the decisions I make for my life are the right ones (perfect) and if I'm not going to do something wrong. I think that your "retrospective jealousy" is due not only to your constant worry about whether everything will be perfect, in which, as I said, there is a finger in the OCD, but also your low self-esteem and self-esteem. If they were tall, I don't think you would care as much about how your girlfriend was before. You would be more interested in how it makes you feel right now.
From the author to number 7 Thank you for the comprehensive answer, it seems to me that at times you are absolutely right, but on the other hand I think it's too late with everything. Is there any option to continue contact only on a site where we are anonymous. I would be happy if the editors allow us to exchange some profiles on Facebook. If necessary, I will make a fake profile to be there and then we will personally exchange the real profiles.