I have a great wife, family and two children. The problem is that I forgot them (there aren't any for about 12 years) and now my wife has found another man she loves and he loves her. By forget I mean that I worked constantly and did not pay attention to them at all. My family (2 children, a kitten, a dog) ran around me. Now that I'm courting her again, but the place is already taken. The other is a foreigner and is learning Bulgarian to come to Bulgaria. pliiz help.
Answers 11
The story of the two watermelons under one arm. If during these 12 years you have worked / especially abroad / to satisfy your material needs, you have hardly succeeded - there is no pleasure, I tell you from experience. You provide housing, a car, coins and another standard and then you are told that you did not buy a flower. But the ligature with the flowers is even shorter - on the third bouquet you are told that we do not drink flowers and candies and the materially secured party is sought. Leveling the scales is hard work, and if you don't hit the brakes right now and keep chasing the American dream, that's exactly what happened to you. Except to continue courtship and rely on favorable development. Winnie the Pooh
Well, fight and don't give up!
Once they love each other, I don't see a chance for you to recover. I can't understand why you men feel and go to fight when it's too late.
I am writing to you because I am a woman and I was in your wife's place years ago. I want to assure you that there is hope. My husband managed to fight for us. Do not give up. Keep in mind that she is also very confused. She's probably found what she's looking for, but she's definitely torn. However, if you see that she is happier, you decide what to do. If you love someone and know that it will be better without you, you better act noble, set her free and help the children. Learn to appreciate every moment spent with them, because if she marries a foreigner, she will most likely take them with her. If you ask how it is after that, from my point of view - our souls do not communicate, we seem to be fine, I took antidepressants for 6 months, the children are happy, my husband says the same.
She's your wife (you know what), and you're a jerk in the literal sense of the word because she turns you on her finger, she's just not guilty ....
I think you should listen to 7., but if it doesn't happen and it doesn't happen, don't start the so-called "war of the roses", but at least try to maintain friendly relations with your wife. Otherwise - you will not lose the children, they are yours, it cannot be dragged abroad without your permission, calmly - and for foreigners Bulgaria is not a bad place to live, strange as it may seem to you - its man will be lives quite happily and comfortably in our country. Author, in my opinion, it is not your own fault that your marriage has broken down and there are always two sleepers - two are always equally guilty of the breakup of the marriage, as they signed together in the town hall. Life is not over, do not strive to win your wife at ANY COST, think about what you want and need in your life, whether this marriage has made you happy and whether you have not run away from your cold and boring married life at work ... and somewhere, somewhere there may be She waiting for you - the woman for you, who will give you what you need both as a man and as a man, not only as a father and husband - a given. Your wife has already found another, what can you lose? Look around, life does not end and does not begin with it, you are still young, you will look after your children and so on, but who knows - you can at least find personal happiness elsewhere, with someone who will love you as you are and appreciates everything which you do!
Man, fight for it, the game is not over yet!
You should not give up, even if it seems to you that everything is lost. This does not apply to all cases, but this is about two children for whom, whatever you are, you are their father. And I don't believe you're so bad and so guilty. There is nothing wrong with providing for your family, times are tough. More importantly, during the time you "forgot" them, there was another woman or women in your life and your wife knew about it. If so, don't blame her — whatever decision she makes will be right, after all, she was abandoned, right? And if you worked only for them and forgot them in the backyard / there is this /, just try to explain it to her, if she loved you she will understand. If love is gone, he will understand it again, but he will have to make a choice, a very difficult choice. I always thought that children are a priority and should not be compromised, especially if they are younger. Here the circle closes with what your wife is ready to sacrifice for the sake of the children?
I want advice from the author: I am a woman with such a man for 10 years. He always leaves early, returns late after the children have fallen asleep. I have told him many times, even this "If I do not teach the children to call you Daddy, when they see me they will ask me, Mom, who is this uncle", but he seems to agree, no effect. Another lover, I haven't caught myself, maybe I have hopes, but I wonder if the hopes are worth it. I think I have long been used to being alone, ie with the children. Author give advice on how to make him kick with our son in the park, ride a bike with our daughter. PS I'm sure he doesn't go after other women, after work he deals with men's "toys", various typewriters, pains, cables, etc. he doesn't drink, he doesn't smoke, he doesn't touch, he doesn't swear, ie everything else is fine. Maybe that's why I still have hope, if there was anything else that I must have caught a deputy a hundred times so far.
At № 12 - I'm not the author, but a woman like you, with the difference that I've been with such a man for 22 years. The children have already grown up and are going out on their own. You won't teach such a man anything, at least I didn't. Gradually, not only the children, but I went to bed before him. Then he in front of the TV and I in bed. He with a glass of alcohol - we have dinner in the kitchen, because the children have a regime, get up for school and it is impossible to wait for their father to drink his aperitif slowly and for a long time. And to keep him company and for them to dine alone is not possible. Other women - no, I'm absolutely sure. See friends - for work or for talking and drinking - yes. And so the children and I got used to it on our own, at home, on Saturdays and Sundays, and on vacation. It's just that, thank God, I've found a way to feel loved and fulfilled for many years. I think you remember what happened to me. And why I did not divorce - many factors did not allow it, and now / still / is not possible. So nothing optimistic about №12 unfortunately.
By №13, ma'am, you had a much bigger problem than mine. I sympathize with you, but I №12 I have my optimism because I have a man who does NOT drink any alcohol, not even beer, does not go with friends. And just at 7 in the morning he goes to work, goes home for 5-6 meals and goes to play with the bolts 600 meters from home. He comes back at 10 am -11 am -12 pm and goes to bed with me, I don't have any complaints in sexual or financial terms / he gives his whole salary / aspect and so on every day for 10 years. Since it is nearby in the evening and on the weekend, if there is a problem I can always count the call and it comes, fixes the faucet, for example, and leaves. Like a robot. And I am a woman, I want, like other families, to have a weekend, to go out in the park with the children, to go to the store at hand, to go on vacation. I hope you understand me, for some my problem is not who knows what, but it's quite unpleasant.