Hello! I will tell you my story, which is not very cheerful, but you are used to reading in this section such things :) For about 5-6 years I have a problem with recurrent depression. Some people develop it after some dramatic moment in their lives, but I have the feeling that it is genetically set. It just comes out of nowhere. I lead a very quiet life, for others I may not lead any meaningful life. I go to work, I go home, I have some hobbies and interests, but I am changeable and I quickly forget them. Depressive states are usually most pronounced in winter and last for several months to half a year. There is some cyclicality perhaps, so I am talking about such specific periods. I went to the doctor and they told me that this is normal for people with such a problem - in winter the symptoms appear in most.
The problem is, that in recent years every year - late autumn or early winter the problem is getting bigger. This condition prevents me from thinking soberly and I did some nonsense. For starters, I quit my job! I thought that the workload affected me badly. I thought there was something my job didn't give me, but I was wrong. I didn't think of becoming a loafer! I started another job without thinking much about it and the problem became even bigger because my current job did not bring me what I wanted, on the contrary. I think I failed even more. First the lower pay, then the lack of social contacts at work, the lack of people close to me, and most of all the balance of what I created because of my confused head. I had a good income, and now I have to start all over again. In addition to the causeless depression, I am now very disappointed in myself. Along with depression, another problem arose about a year ago. Various obsessive thoughts began to pop into my head. This provokes great anxiety in me at times. This is the most tiring thing, believe me! I constantly check everything about 10 times to see if it's turned off before I go out. I must be acting strange to others and I'm always late. I check once, take three steps and say to myself "oh I must have imagined that I looked .. to come back to see her again!" or "I'm not well, and maybe when I went to check I may have inadvertently included something." I will not tell you about the doors :( I am constantly under pressure for no objective reason. I have become terribly self-critical of myself, I do not tolerate any mistakes.
I am softer to other people's mistakes, but not to myself. Even things that most people don't pay attention to, I see as a serious failure. What's worse is that when I think of a loved one I love very much. Then various obsessions begin to invade my head - bad things that I would not wish on my worst enemy. This is the worst! When I have to wish someone dear to me something nice or just say goodbye to him, all sorts of oaths invade my head, which I try to fight against but I can't! I'm afraid of developing any serious mental illness. Although a qualified person has not diagnosed me with the latter, I appear to have developed some kind of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). Some time ago I went to a psychiatrist. At that time, these obsessions had not deepened and I did not share this with the doctor. He prescribed me a new antidepressant and I have been taking it for more than 2 years. I haven't stopped. In the meantime, I had problems and increased my dose. I have a feeling that depression is not improving. I keep spinning in the same circle. Only my sleep improved. I even have the feeling that this obsessive-compulsive disorder came after I started taking an antidepressant.
Depression made me emotionally inert. I do not have a civil position and I do not care what is happening in the world around me. I only care about my family is well! I have no friends, I have no desire to go anywhere. I constantly feel tired, very small things make me happy, but for a moment. Now I have ruined my years of work. Not many, but for my age, I think I had achieved something. I have not had and it seems I will not have a social life. For a family absurd. Has anyone been in a similar situation and got out of it? Is it possible that the drugs have aggravated my condition? What would you advise me, because I am desperate: (((M32
Answers 6
Young man, I fully understand you and I sincerely sympathize with you! You make a big mistake by going to a psychiatrist for help, you have realized that the situation is getting worse instead of getting better. And I made that mistake, and after my visit to a psychiatrist I became a rag. They prescribe drugs so strong that they are crushed. Doctors have told you that winter provokes depression, and did they explain why? Depression strikes us when the hormones of happiness become deficient in our body, especially the hormone Serotonin. Sunlight catalyzes the production of this hormone, so it becomes insufficient in winter because we do not stay in the sun. I'll be brief, go to a neurologist (not a psychiatrist) and ask him if you can use the mild antidepressant Dianxit. It is known as the pink pill of happiness,
Accept that everyone has a destiny and do not blame yourself. I am your age and I have experienced great failures both financially and as a family, but I am moving forward. It is a mistake to isolate yourself and have no friends, find people with common interests, diversify your daily life.
I'm 26 and I've been like that for as long as I can remember. I haven't sought help and I'm trying to live with it. I also try as much as possible not to affect my work, but my personal life is a corpse. I attribute it to my character, not so much to some mental problem. At least you can try, like me, to get rid of the habit of opening and closing doors and pushing buttons 100 times. It happens when you force yourself, it is not impossible and then you get used to it. For thinking about something 100 times in its 100 different variants, I still have it and it also has pros and cons. The downsides are extra nerves for everything, but the plus is that you almost always know the end result and can prepare.
I answer only for the purpose of providing moral support, although I do not know if I can. I have been in the same condition for six years. I've been very ill for a year. I don't keep in touch with people, I work much less. I sleep badly, I drink a lot. During this time I realized that antidepressants are not a way out, but help to find a way out of the situation. For me, the condition also appeared for no reason. I had a job that I loved (I'm still the same), I traveled, I had a serious relationship (I still have), I'm not bad financially either. But it doesn't ask. Personally, I decided it was best to unravel the problem to the max and see exactly where it comes from. I discovered it for myself two weeks ago. My supposed reasons are extremely inadequate. I guess yours, too. But I think that for these conditions all the reasons are extremely inadequate. My suggestion and advice to you is to find out the reason for this, it took me a whole year. But I still make progress. I feel an idea better. It is difficult and unfortunately people usually do not understand it, they do not support you. As for checking a hundred times, I do too, but I don't think it's wrong while we're in this state. I know how inadequate we are, and it's better to check a hundred times until we get better than to forget something. Congratulations and good luck to you and to everyone who is in such a terrible condition! I hope that soon in Bulgaria we will have the necessary specialists who can help us, and not to cram us with drugs at random. As for checking a hundred times, I do too, but I don't think it's wrong while we're in this state. I know how inadequate we are, and it's better to check a hundred times until we get better than to forget something. Congratulations and good luck to you and to everyone who is in such a terrible condition! I hope that soon in Bulgaria we will have the necessary specialists who can help us, and not to cram us with drugs at random. As for checking a hundred times, I do too, but I don't think it's wrong while we're in this state. I know how inadequate we are, and it's better to check a hundred times until we get better than to forget something. Congratulations and good luck to you and to everyone who is in such a terrible condition! I hope that soon in Bulgaria we will have the necessary specialists who can help us, and not to cram us with drugs at random.
From the Author: To number 4: Hello! And I have been constantly analyzing these conditions for years and looking for the cause. I constantly analyze my past problems and actions to find the cause. I like to walk in places where there are not many people. Walking and looking at the world around you is a great environment to think philosophically about things. I think, I think and I can't understand myself. And every time all these depressive episodes are repeated. What I still discovered about myself: There is always something that acts as a catalyst that provokes them. But what I discovered about myself is that I will always find a reason to get depressed. Even if everything is fine, I will find something to crush me. My problems are that I am a very big perfectionist. Sometimes I'm too conscientious, although I try to demonstrate the opposite to people. At times I want to have more contacts, and I, like these people outside, in the restaurants to laugh and have fun. I was given the opportunity to go out in company, and just then I became depressed. On the one hand, I believe that my problems come from a lack of social contacts, but when I am given the opportunity to do so, it depresses me. Maybe because I see other people, how far ahead of me in social, spiritual and personal development? !! The truth is that I am very inexperienced in life, in communication and in everything. Only in my profession I may have been good, but as I said, I quit my job. Now I'm working on something else that is a "stumbling block" for me and this change that I made myself, so to speak, will finish me off ... About these obsessive thoughts and constant checking. I found that the more I check, think and analyze, the more this deepens. If I'm not sure I've locked the front door, I'll go back to check. Next time I will come back twice and the next time three times. This is obviously a disease that is like a spoiled child. The more you please him, the more it gets on your head. To number 2: you are right that I have to somehow transform my everyday life. But I have no idea. My interests are variable. I constantly jump from one thing to another. It will be difficult to find friends with whom I have similar interests, because it will be difficult to keep them. To number 1: then I just had no choice, so I sought the help of a psychiatrist. I thought then, even if I committed suicide, it had gone so far. A visit to a psychiatrist somewhat solved my problem with insomnia (something normal for many people with depression). But it doesn't cure me of depression. Then came these obsessions. Otherwise you are right about the sun .. it is also scientifically proven :)
With mood swings, it is very likely to be Bipolar Affective Disorder.