Hello readers of the forum. A 47-year-old man writes to you. What bothers me is that my wife and I are moving further and further away. We have a relationship of teenagers and we have been married since the age of 18. Our daughter is 17. We both have our own businesses and things are fine financially. We have our own big apartment, and we generally lack nothing, but my wife has been in a state of apathy for some time. She cools down to me, when we have sex (3 -4 times a month) I have the feeling that I am forcing her. I have been sleeping alone in another room for 10 years, and she sleeps with our daughter in the bedroom, under the pretext that I am snoring. I don't know if the fact that we sleep separately is the reason, but we are already like roommates, and I love and want it as before. When I hug her and try to kiss her, she pushes me away and her head still hurts, she will come and her stomach hurts, the child will see her. Well, it's patient, it's patient, but I'm tired already. I started thinking about something foreign (I haven't cheated so far) I don't miss female attention. I have one of my apartments, and I plan to move out, asking the question ultimately: either we will have a full-fledged marriage, or everyone in their path. On the other hand, I wonder if my wife (46) is not in this condition due to age, menopause and subsequent hormone problems. I don't want to dump this family we've been building together for so long. Has anyone had such a problem and found a solution? Thanks to everyone who took the time to read my problem. ) is not in this condition due to age, menopause and subsequent hormone problems. I don't want to dump this family we've been building together for so long. Has anyone had such a problem and found a solution? Thanks to everyone who took the time to read my problem. ) is not in this condition due to age, menopause and subsequent hormone problems. I don't want to dump this family we've been building together for so long. Has anyone had such a problem and found a solution? Thanks to everyone who took the time to read my problem.
Answers 24
Most likely he has an affair with another. It doesn't have to be sex, but flirting for sure. The simplest explanation is that you are no longer attractive in her eyes. You took it and you gave everything. If you start taking care of your appearance and she realizes that another is trying to reach you, it is possible to attract her again. It is best to tell her frankly how you feel and decide what to do.
First calm down with an extramarital affair and then if it still worries you then ask yourself what it is.;)
I had this problem. I did not find a solution or understanding There is as much porn as a person wants. I'm a checker now. From the years.
Dude, come to your senses! There's another one, don't you feel it? If he loves you, he will sue you and snore, and with a king even! It's a pity, but everything has an end :(
You're ready to ruin your family very quickly, wait a minute. Probably getting critical, may have someone else or not want sex with you. She may also be tired of your relationship
Let her read this !!! Don't underestimate this advice !!! At least the cards will be downloaded, and she will unwittingly or unwillingly download hers.
If there is no serious illness, there is another, guaranteed! Everyone has sex, regardless of age and needs attention!
I experienced exactly the same thing 7 years ago. The problem turned out to be trivial - a lover. Currently, sex is still a mirage, even those 3-4 times a month fucking sex that you mention are just great. There is nothing you can do, even if you eliminate the lover. You have three options: - You catch your mistress. - Divorce. - Porn and checks. I am on the last one because my children are small.
I often don't care about your relationship, but I was worried about your daughter. A 17-year-old is not at all okay sleeping with his parent.
and I was like that for 5 years from a relationship of 15 years and a child. There was a lover of mine I waited 2-3 years and we broke up. Now I have another /
The woman most likely has a lover, but your 17-year-old daughter should sleep with her !? !! You will distort her because of your stupid wife! Take care of your child, get a divorce and be sure to sleep separately. How does it sound to you "Veronica, 17 years old, I sleep with mom and dad sleeps on the couch". Sounds like a specialist to me.
I was kind of sick of the story and the comments. You're kind of banal. I do not want to offend the author, on the contrary. His story is so common, and with so many real problems, that it deserves no condescension. I rather guessed at the way in which supposedly serious, interesting people somehow turn out to be actors in an extremely dull and tasteless series. The episodes from which they play day after day, closed in this banal and meaningless cycle from which there seems to be no right way out. Because all the "exits" that are already recommended, seem to me just a prerequisite for new problems, or at least ... well, mediocre. In any case, I'm sure they won't be a solution to the problem, rather a vent. Unfortunately, I have no answer. Not the one you would like, with the worldview you have now. I do not think, that there is a "universal correct answer", not for everyone. I have decided for myself that I do not want to participate in this stupid play. I don't want to pretend to be who I am, just because circumstances demand it. But yes, you're right, you have to react in some way because you're suffocating. Do I choose the words correctly? :) I say again - I'm not so arrogant to give you advice. Besides maybe the cliché - help yourself, God help you. Not that I'm a believer, but if you don't take care of yourself, don't expect someone else to. Selfishness has nothing to do. This is a war for our survival, for our souls. Sooner or later you will realize that this is the real problem, the only war. I don't want to pretend to be who I am, just because circumstances demand it. But yes, you're right, you have to react in some way because you're suffocating. Do I choose the words correctly? :) I say again - I'm not so arrogant to give you advice. Besides maybe the cliché - help yourself, God help you. Not that I'm a believer, but if you don't take care of yourself, don't expect someone else to. Selfishness has nothing to do. This is a war for our survival, for our souls. Sooner or later you will realize that this is the real problem, the only war. I don't want to pretend to be who I am, just because circumstances demand it. But yes, you're right, you have to react in some way because you're suffocating. Do I choose the words correctly? :) I say again - I'm not so arrogant to give you advice. Besides maybe the cliché - help yourself, God help you. Not that I'm a believer, but if you don't take care of yourself, don't expect someone else to. Selfishness has nothing to do. This is a war for our survival, for our souls. Sooner or later you will realize that this is the real problem, the only war. may God help you too. Not that I'm a believer, but if you don't take care of yourself, don't expect someone else to. Selfishness has nothing to do. This is a war for our survival, for our souls. Sooner or later you will realize that this is the real problem, the only war. may God help you too. Not that I'm a believer, but if you don't take care of yourself, don't expect someone else to. Selfishness has nothing to do. This is a war for our survival, for our souls. Sooner or later you will realize that this is the real problem, the only war.
Up to 10: Why?
Do you remember that you also contributed to your wife sleeping in the other room? That is why it is not an honor for you to throw all the blame on her and look for an occasion to break.
I am 45 and my libido has dropped dramatically in the last 2 years. And no, I don't have a lover. And yes, I'm getting into the critical. I rarely do it with my husband. He grumbles sometimes, of course. The difference with you is that I almost never refuse him. Yes, I feel sleepy, I don't feel like it ... but I try not to refuse him, because I know it's important to him. And he knows what's wrong with me. I started to get more tired, sweaty, not sleep well and he sees it. We are 14 years married, second for both. With us, however, everything in sex is fine - although rare, we still wish. With the author, it seems to me that his wife just doesn't love him and wants him anymore ... But her critical one is undoubtedly reflected.
Author, I don't want to be extreme, but I don't think this woman can stand you for a long time. The very fact that you have been sleeping separately for 10 years is completely indicative. For me, your wife has had a lover for years.
From the author: Thank you all for the advice you give. I think my wife is not cheating on me (so far she has not given me a reason for this) but attention and verification is not superfluous. The simplest solution is to catch her in adultery. Then it will all end quickly, but she says she loves me and I was the only one for her - ha now. There is a lot written in the forum on this topic, and obviously my case is not the only one. I will think about your advice. If there is any development in our relationship, I will write.
Author, it is clear that he will claim that you are the only one and that he loves you. You don't expect him to tell you he has a lover. Look at the deeds, not the words.
My dad, how can you not be tired, 30 years old, bro ... this is not a barracks to take her out
What a lover, do you know how a 46-year-old woman catches a lover :) How many of you catch a 35-year-old? There is a problem in the relationship, they do not even sit down to talk, but exchange remarks. Maybe the connection is over. Still, she may have been fed up with him wanting him in the same way for so many years. Well, court this woman, show her that you are ready to fight for her, that she is still good. It is critical and not easy. Give something flowers, concert tickets, something from your young years to revive that you loved to do together. And spend it with a balloon or something exotic. Give yourself a hard time. She will appreciate it in my opinion.
Until 21. Have you been in such a situation and have you applied the advice you give? The problem is obvious to the Author and is quite trivial, no matter how much he does not realize it. When the horns immediately began the signs: her head hurts, she will come, her stomach hurts, her child will see .... No flowers, champagne, balloons, spa, excursions, conversations, etc. will not help until it eliminates lover. Even after that, it is not certain, because other problems arise - with trust! From experience!
Up to 22 Neither your nor my single experience is authoritative, that is why the people here gather DIFFERENT experiences and opinions. Not everyone is like you (or me).
Abe, I remember a lot of women over 35 and over 45, who for years have been spinning not one, but several lovers, and new ones are appearing. Once you go this route, the return is very difficult. Usually things end when you crash.
Author, instead of wasting your time reading here, the answer is simple - hire a detective to keep her in line for 2-3 weeks and the question with the lover will be cleared. 10 years why you sleep in another room remains a mystery to me - when you snore, you can have surgery or buy something and solve this problem. As several people said - 17 years old and sleeping with his mother WTF? My opinion is that a strong break. I will NOT spend 10 years in this situation with my wife. Either we sit down, talk and solve problems or aufvidersen. This is not a full-fledged family and life.