I am a woman of 28. In short: I do not get along with the person next to me, he is still dissatisfied, he is still nervous, he erupts, he is jealous to the point of illness. Quarrels, beatings. We have been together for 9 years and in the beginning, of course, everything was different. I have a lover I fell in love with. I had never cheated, but the one I did it with attracted me at first sight. In the beginning we go out when it was possible. And after a while we went to bed together. That wasn't my goal (to cheat), because at least that's enough for me in my relationship (maybe the only thing that's really going on in my relationship). That's how things happened. We both wanted it. The thing is, I started falling in love with this man. One day I got tired of him not even wanting to fight for anything. I asked him directly what he thought would happen between us. He told me that he could be my good lover. These words hurt me a lot, because I wouldn't want it to be just that. Many men over the years have tried to fight for me with all sorts of gestures. No one got anywhere, and the man I let close to me almost told me that only that could be between us. I am very sad about that. I never expected him to. I stopped looking for him for a few days. You hurt me very much. Maybe because I allowed it so close ... I don't know if I want advice, I just wanted to share what's in my soul. I stopped looking for him for a few days. You hurt me very much. Maybe because I allowed it so close ... I don't know if I want advice, I just wanted to share what's in my soul. I stopped looking for him for a few days. You hurt me very much. Maybe because I allowed it so close ... I don't know if I want advice, I just wanted to share what's in my soul.
Answers 12
And how exactly did it hurt you? With the fact that you are lovers and he is ok with that? The next step is very big and both participants must want to take it to make it happen, but no one said that it should or that the other should be ready when you are, because you are ready to change the branch. I don't think that by telling you that he chooses for himself not to take this step at the moment is a bad person or it's hurtful, it's just that you're so deep in your own head that you only think from your point of view and you are. " hurt "when someone else doesn't want the same thing you do. Everyone has a position and a life and makes decisions and I don't think you have the right to be angry that someone chooses differently from you. You are very proud of those who have run behind your ass for so many years that you quote them and you already think that everyone dreams of having you and you are "offended". when someone allows themselves not to want to spend their life with you. The pampered one ... Get her down on the ground and respect the other's right to choose her life. You are lovers. That's it. A lot of people are like that and that's it and that's ok. Yes, some want more, but it's shared. You paint the story in your own head and expect the other to be like that ... it doesn't happen. PS I have no respect for infidels. It deserves pointing a finger and publicly spitting every day.
Would you take a mistress for a wife? He will be your husband tomorrow, and you can cheat on him.
No man will take you seriously if you have a man next to you, you CHEAT your friend and your lover knows it and knows that one day he may be in his place. Abe, you are like monkeys, until you hold on to the new branch, you don't let go of the old one. I had such an outing with one, well, it doesn't work, I always doubted it. And from a respectful point of view, you have been with the man for 9 years, be honest with him and yourself
Did you show him that you wanted to be more than that, or were you just waiting for him? Are you fighting for him in any way? Let's look at it from his point of view. You're with a guy who's obviously harassing you, but you're still with him, and the other one is just a lover. What do you expect him to tell you? Me, and I, if I were a man, I would not go to explain myself in the love of a woman who sleeps with another and obviously does not respect himself when he is with some complex ...
I was in your situation, it sucks I know. I wasn't in love with my lover, but for a split second things went through my mind. We both have problems in marriage and they are of the same type, our halves live as they say on our backs. I saved my husband from all sorts of problems, he got on my head in the literal sense of the word, I will not go into details, but the situation is such that people meet me and say in my eyes "why do you still tolerate it?" we live in a small town and everything is known to everyone. My lover, on the other hand, is very responsible, he started from scratch and with a lot of work and effort he now maintains a relatively high standard of living. He trembles over his wife and lacks nothing from a financial point of view, she does not work, he supports her. They go to restaurants and have a nice car on vacation, but she is still dissatisfied. He walks left and right, explains that she is not sexually satisfied, does not respect his opinion, discredits him in front of his friends, does not pay attention to him, sleeps apart and a bunch of other things, I will not share them in detail because I wrote a topic with my story and I was accused of inventing it precisely because of these details. So I want to say that it crossed my mind how well we fit in with my lover and how well we would live together and how each of us would give the other what he deserves. And here I come to the conclusion of number 2 that if we live together, he will doubt that I am cheating on him just as I cheated on my husband. I knew very well that he felt that I was better than his wife in many ways, but there is something in which wives always surpass lovers and that is their fidelity. Have you cheated once? you have crossed the border, either with himself, or at his insistence. I was also taken down or courted a lot, but they didn't get anywhere, only he turned out to be more interesting and I let him in, but hardly did our lovers realize what we actually did by allowing them to approach us. I know it's hard to accept the truth that they only use us for sex, to satisfy their desires, to be with them when they want, but she's so nice. When you accept to be the mistress of a married man, you should be aware that she, his wife always comes first, he is with her in front of friends and relatives, in the eyes of people they are the perfect family. We are just sinners and do not fit anywhere in the picture. It hurts a lot when he writes to you or says I'm busy with my wife. I was very hurt when I asked my lover about one of his infidelities, / he has a lot behind his back / did he get feelings, did he have more serious intentions towards another and he answered "it's not always just sex, it's just that someone has been interesting to me for a long time". This answer made me wake up, in time I stopped looking for him and answering him. I hope you find the strength to get out of this mess. Good luck!
I can't give advice, I'll just express my sympathy, because I'm in the same or at least a similar situation ... and I'm so hopelessly in love that I'm screaming. But in all probability it will be just unrequited love and possibly short and rare meetings, without reciprocity of feelings and romantic explanations.
Injured ?? !!! Self-injured - maybe. I just don't understand why - he's your lover, he didn't promise you anything, he didn't lie to you, he knows you're in a relationship. He can't and shouldn't be anything else! Why do you expect more than sex? Break up with both of them, gather your mind and the other way - the smart one.
Abe, you are very stupid! Such as number 2? Just because you've cheated on one doesn't mean you're cheating in general. I cheated on my husband. With a man I have loved for years without crossing the border, I cheated because my husband first challenged me with his infidelity, second we were incompatible. Yes, I knew it. To fight for years for our family. He didn't care. I cheated once and got divorced. Now kill me with stones that I am stupid and naive but ...! Since then I have been with the man with whom I cheated on my husband. But how am I with him? He lives abroad. We see each other extremely rarely. And don't explain to him that there is another. Yes there is. A young potent man will not stand on his feet. It hurts, but without it it hurts more. I sincerely love just that when he's gone I don't sleep with others. I do NOT cheat even though I can and even though no one seeks fidelity to me. I had reasons to cheat on my husband. Thousands of reasons. I have no reason for the other and I will not cheat. If I do get a chance, I'll leave first. But for God's sake, women are not amoebas - if she cheated on her husband, then she will cheat on her lover. Girl, the author doesn't act like a monkey. It is not your lover's problem, but the man you tolerate. And not to fight. Yeah, they're like that. For me, my husband does not fight. And how could I not reveal myself to him and give it to him. He grabs with full hands. He now lives a bachelor. And I'm still collecting my songs, although I haven't liked it for a long time. But let me break you. Cut them both. Well it will hurt we will not lie. But are you both okay at your expense? so he will betray his lover as well. Girl, the author doesn't act like a monkey. It is not your lover's problem, but the man you tolerate. And not to fight. Yeah, they're like that. For me, my husband does not fight. And how could I not reveal myself to him and give it to him. He grabs with full hands. He now lives a bachelor. And I'm still collecting my songs, although I haven't liked it for a long time. But let me break you. Cut them both. Well it will hurt we will not lie. But are you both okay at your expense? so he will betray his lover as well. Girl, the author doesn't act like a monkey. It is not your lover's problem, but the man you tolerate. And not to fight. Yeah, they're like that. For me, my husband does not fight. And how could I not reveal myself to him and give it to him. He grabs with full hands. He now lives a bachelor. And I'm still collecting my songs, although I haven't liked it for a long time. But let me break you. Cut them both. Well it will hurt we will not lie. But are you both okay at your expense?
Selfish. The world does not revolve around you, nor are you from the Royal Family. Click your fingers and make yours. I hope they dump them both, you're not a commodity. It's all someone's fault that you're cheating! Why didn't your terrible husband leave you, to stand alone, and then to look? !! The typical female monkey - from branch to branch ...
You have lost 9 years of this person's life (and your own), the least you can do for him is to save the rest by breaking up with him. It is very selfish to first find security in one man and only then to leave the other. Infidelity is a choice a man makes, you are a big girl will you trust this man next to you if you are together? Hardly, well, he won't have anything to do with you and he was honest with you, he doesn't owe you anything.
Number 8, I'm number 5, you're absolutely right that cheating on one doesn't mean you're going to cheat on the other, but a lot of people don't understand it. They don't understand that some women don't look away just for fun, they don't cheat lightly. I personally needed a lot of frustration, a lot of tears and pain to decide to think of someone else. Men, for example, do not realize that even the most faithful wife is capable of making mistakes if she feels hurt and offended. I personally have not talked about the topic with my ex-lover, but I was very worried about the fact that maybe this thought is spinning in his head. As soon as I cheat on my husband, I will do it with every next man, with the slightest problem in the relationship. You explain it precisely and clearly, if you get what you need, you do not cheat, no matter how much and how you meet, regardless of the kilometers. Now, if I had the opportunity to cheat on someone else, I wouldn't do it.
Up to 5. You are so confused that you hardly realize it? You have the strength for a lover, but you do not have the strength to divorce your lazy husband. Strange? You comment on your lover's wife, what she was like. Don't think of her, she did a good job, just as you don't believe everything your lover says. Think about what you were in the situation? Up to 8. You are the perfect mistress. Your lover fucks other women abroad, and the faithful Penelope is waiting for him to make her happy three or four times a year. This is already love. But really! However, there is something infinitely arousing in an extramarital affair with a married woman, and all this emotional instability that emanates from her, combined with complete devotion to sex and willingness to make any sacrifices in the estate of the lover. Author, sit on your ass. That way you will not find a person who will love you. Don Juan