My story is as follows: We have been married for 2 years. We have a 9m baby. We live with my parents. His parents are from another city and are divorced. He came to live in my city for me, and not only that. We just don't have the opportunity to move out. He works in another city and travels every day. He gets up early and comes back late. When he comes back, I always find something to fight about. Even for the smallest thing, I'm capable of arguing. I've been like that since I was a little grumpy, I've been making a scandal since at least. We fight all the time. On the other hand, our people always scold me for his mistakes. They are just used to 1 type and he is not used to it yet and when he does something in his own way and ours immediately quarrel with me and from there I accumulate, I tell him and finally scandals start. He returns tired, eats and goes to bed. I want to go out with the baby, and he calls me why you will go out, when you will return. Then I go out alone or with my mother and he mutters that I didn't even invite him. What an invitation he is waiting for to go out with his wife and child. Since I don't know what to do, I go out and that's it. The child wants a walk. He could no longer stand the scandals and said that if I continued he would leave and not return. For me personally, I take these scandals for granted. I don't pay attention to them. for me they are part of everyday life but he doesn't think so. I don't think that when we quarrel over 1 tomato or 1 glass of soda, these are already things we have to part with. we only quarrel over such trivial things. I admit I'm nervous and irritable for the slightest thing. I have had such a character since I was a child. I've tried to change to kill this harmful vice, but it doesn't work. He is a calm and balanced person, but next to me he learned to call me. He couldn't stand it anymore. In my opinion, living with my parents also has a huge impact. I always consider them first. I fight with him just to have peace in the house and to please my mother who stomps her foot that something should be the way she wants it. My father keeps telling me that I am a scandalmonger and that I will not recover. Everyone blames me. I'm not saying I'm not, but I'm between a rock and a hard place. Everyone blames me. I'm not saying I'm not, but I'm between a rock and a hard place. Everyone blames me. I'm not saying I'm not, but I'm between a rock and a hard place.
Answers 11
Forget about writing how old you are, but I'm sure you're another young mother who wasn't ready for marriage and a child - materially and mentally. You are a mother and you do not work, can't you find a small window in the village where he works - so you will have more time together. Done - done, but if you do not change, if you do not move out, you will lose your husband. ... and yes, you are guilty, but that doesn't matter in this case - the important thing is to save your marriage and keep the father of your child, and that requires a little tension and compromise ... everything depends on you. No, I can't, if you don't change and support him, you will become another single young mother in our country, who barely connects the two ends and lives with mom and dad, soaks in coffees and mourns her fate all day, and your baby will be left without father. The stakes are huge - a lifetime!
According to №1, move to the village where he works in a small apartment. Your mother has the right to command in her own home. You have to learn not to make scandals about small things, you are a mother and the child will suffer from this and you will fight with him for trifles, now is the time to learn and then it will be too late.
You didn't write how old you were. maybe you're in the range of 23-28
Yes, I forgot to write how old I am. I am 28 years old. We have loans to the bank and we cannot afford accommodation.
It is good that you realize that the problem is in you. Try to change, to be calmer, not to be petty. It is difficult, yes, but not impossible. Who would tolerate constant scolding for nonsense? You are not right about the walks either - you say that you go out with the child and with your mother. What is he for you? How can I say - I will come too? If you are, will you go? Is this a family walk or what? Next time, just the three of you go out, without your mother. One night he left the child with his mother, go out alone, talk, relax your souls. What is this voltage? Do you love each other or not? Do you want to be together or not? Believe me, he will really fulfill his threat and he will leave and you will not be able to stop him with scandals and fairs. Maybe you feel obligated to take your mother's side because you live in her house. But does that mean that you should humiliate your husband? If he annoys her so much, let her tell him - look what, I want you to do this and that. I'm sure it will have an effect.
My guilt is very clear, who is to blame? It was normal to make a scandal about a tomato, if you had taken a scandalous man and with him you measure your dicks who will shout more. The man all day long, when he comes home he wants a little peace, what could be more normal than that? And it's not easy for you all day with the baby, isn't it better to have a little peace in the evening than to raise scandals about a tomato? And your mother is not very right, it is true that you are in her house, but she should be mature enough to take into account that when there are many people in one place, not everything can be hers. And I don't know if you feel it, but she manipulates you by scolding you for things that your husband has "sinned", so she passes the ball to you to deal with him, and she doesn't ruin her relationship with her son-in-law. And that you quarrel with your husband " you will find your master of scandal. Apparently your family is stubborn and stubborn, so your scandal is not by birth, but by upbringing, let me tell you. You grew up in such an environment, with scandals, and you became one. Work on the issue, so that no decent man will tolerate you, it is better to be alone in silence. you will find your master of scandal. Apparently your family is like that, stubborn and stubborn, so your scandal is not by birth, but by upbringing, let me tell you. You grew up in such an environment, with scandals, and you became one. Work on the issue, so that no decent man will tolerate you, it is better to be alone in silence.
If you don't move out, you will split up. As difficult as it is, it is better to live more modestly but calmly. It is normal for a person to seek peace when he returns from work.
I've been nervous since I was a child, but over time I've learned not to be that much, men can't stand women mumbling to them all the time. Men want peace, and women in general, peace of mind in a relationship is very important. And to live with your parents is awful, I live alone, but not with my parents, I live on rent and I take care of myself, but it is unbearable for me to live with my parents, and what is left to be married and with parents is absurd. . Don't make excuses that you can't, a lot of people have loans, every second family, money is made, but I don't think it's hard for you to be independent, so it's up to you /
Thanks to everyone for the answers and tips. Last night my husband went to see 1 apartment. She liked showing me pictures. It's great. We decided to move out. It will be quite difficult for us financially, but it is better to be alone. I told my mother, and she just freaked out. He started muttering, how will we manage financially, how will I manage alone with the baby. She said my husband was selfish and thought only of himself. He tried to turn me against him. I also said that I didn't want to argue with him, that I wanted to keep my family.
Author, BRAVO! It will be difficult for you, but I am sure you will manage. Your husband is not selfish, he thinks about your family. My sister is like you, nervous, but only with ours, move out and become the mistress of the house, you will be relieved and you will calm down. You can't imagine how cool it is to live with your husband, your child and spend your evenings together, and the hardest bread and the most torn sofa will be sweeter than the old ones! Her husband will gain a completely different self-confidence, you will be very happy. Well done to you - end of the hints, the guilty, now is the time to prove yourself!
You will be fine if your husband is with you, it's not scary. You will deal with the baby as any mother has done so far.