Hello, I'm a girl of 21. For two years now, something has changed in me as a person. Starting with the family, through relationships and all the way to career and study. I am generally frustrated with life, crying almost every night, depressed, and closed in on myself. I have two or three friends with whom I hear from time to time, but we are from different cities and do not see each other often. I don't go out much except when I'm with my boyfriend. I fight with my family, I'm afraid of a serious commitment so that I don't get hurt and I don't seem to fit in with people. I am horrified about what awaits me in the future, the fact that I have to take care of myself, I am horrified by the fact that I cannot adapt to the rest, I cannot talk freely. I do not feel comfortable in my skin and on the spot. I'm afraid of failure. I'm about to graduate next year and I don't know how I'm going to do my thesis at all because I have no idea what's going on. I'm embarrassed to talk to people and that stops me from doing some homework at university. When I think of sharing with someone, I have the feeling that I will complain and annoy a person, so I am silent most of the time. I can't stand it, I want a change, but I don't know how to get my old self back. Some things happened to me, I don't know if they have anything to do with the situation at the moment (my ex-boyfriend died, and I don't get along with ours - they forbid me everything and behave like eagle parents, which stops me from following my goals, going out and to be normal). Please, if anyone has experienced something like this, let them share their experience. Lately I've been thinking more and more about a fatal end ... And I'm super demotivated by everything.
Answers 3
As you pass through Hell, keep walking. Things will change. This is inevitable. They will change many times in your life. Sometimes it will get better, sometimes it will get worse. But you will still be happy, you will have good moments and good things will happen in your life. The fears you have - you have to face them. From experience I can tell you that otherwise you become their slave. And the feeling of victory over yourself is wonderful. However, find a trusted person with whom you can share. The fact is, shared pain is half the pain. And sometimes, as you talk out loud about what's bothering you, you realize its absurdity and even find it funny. It also helps to see that someone else is experiencing the same thing. Or that everyone has problems, is depressed, afraid. Do not despair and definitely do not give up your dreams out of fear. I want to tell you, that I am very worried about speaking in front of people. I have twice defended my dissertation in front of many people. Was I worried? Yes. Did I feel sick? Definitely. Did I do it? Probably not very well, but both times I was evaluated with 6. I finished what was in my heart, now I am working on it and it has been satisfying me for 6 years. Life is often difficult, nasty and unpleasant. Don't give in to him. ;) Another time is wonderful.
And to go to a psychologist, there is no use. Basically in psychology, you are just an animal that has to eat, shit, fuck, etc. Its purpose is to lead this so-called "normal" lifestyle, and to solve simple problems such as: - I feel too ugly - I have no self-confidence - my head is not very well - schizophrenia, bipolar, anxiety, and the like. If you ask more serious existential questions to a psychologist, at most he should tell you - do not dig deeper. I personally follow a Freudian from time to time, and he had a whole lecture on the subject. The psychologist, after all, is not a philosopher, and he cannot tell you why you live, or how to make your life satisfying, without any specific technical reason. By definition, the animal should not be asked these things, but simply live and be happy. That is, not to disappoint you, but "
Do not run from your fears, but run against them. Now you have to find your own way: I suppress my thoughts, for example, say the number of stars or sheep, so that I don't think about depressive thoughts; another vlogger had said that he managed it by saying to every thought: "and what of it" does not work for me. But you have to face your fears ... it's very difficult, it's very nasty. I was the first to start this fight, they were still looking at me like a flower in a pot and I'm not used to doing it alone and relying only on myself. However, things went so well for me that I found a friend and my father left us the apartment and they had to move out. My mother and I had a stronger relationship, I tell you the first days I had the feeling that they had moved to another continent, 100m from us: D. So clenching your teeth and going forward will be very difficult at first, but the more fears you overthrow, the more you will believe in yourself and everything will disappear. And for sharing go to a psychologist is very nice and useful, sharing is another, professional opinion.