Hello. I am a woman of 31. I have a friend of 3 years and we get along great. We have lived together since the beginning of our relationship. The problem is that his mother doesn't like me and we live with her. In the beginning, things went well with her. It wasn't long before he started interfering in our affairs. After one of our quarrels (between me and my friend), she jumped against me and zealously defended her son. He talked to her several times and said that these things are only between us and whether we will fight or fight is our business. In 3 years we have quarreled 3 times and for nonsense. True, I explode a lot, but I don't think she has the right to come to our room and talk to me about it. It's always my fault. He does not give a word to say, for example, that we quarreled over his fault. The second time he came and told me a lot of terrible things. I forgave her because I love my boyfriend. The third time he reached out to me. As much as he and she apologized to me, I left. But here I am again after two months of separation. It's just that we don't talk to his mother, we avoid being spotted. We live in a house. She is on the first floor, we are on the second. Displacement is impossible for us at the moment. My friend tells me that I live with him and not with her. And the important thing is that we understand each other. Do you think it's good that I went back to him and have you had cases where you lived with your mothers-in-law under one roof without talking to each other?
Answers 18
At one time the whole family lived with my grandmother - my mother did not get along very well with her as a mother-in-law, I believe that these few months were very difficult for her. Personally, I do not consider it right for a person to experience such torture if he has another choice. Unfortunately, you can't move together ... I recommend at least if you can move more calmly, otherwise it's a lot of stress, not to start affecting the work ... This is about the encroachment ... a terrible story .. .it's even punishable! Respect yourself! Your friend is no more important than you!
No. It's not good that you're back.
My mothers-in-law know what they are - constantly interfering in the lives of young families. Don't let it ruin your youth at 31, experience the good moments.
I will allow myself to express my opinion, which will probably seem a little harsh to you, but still. I read your story and the only one to blame for this situation is your husband / boyfriend. He put you in this situation and here and to apologize and love each other, the problem is already a fact and it got there because he put you and your relationship in such a situation. How come a man, I suppose a worker, still lives with his parents at that age, how come you agree to live in his parents' home, albeit on a separate floor? !! Even if you got along with his mother, I still don't think it's right to share a home with his family, given that you probably have serious intentions for each other and want to build a family. He did not have the opportunity, but when there is no opportunity, everyone will stay at home to avoid such situations. It is ugly on his part and I personally would not return in this case, because he allowed this to happen, not someone else! My advice is to live apart from him, see each other, keep in touch if you think you have a future together, but no one has to put up with such a set of nerves and tension just because he doesn't know the conditions under which he can live with a woman. !! Only reading the story can I imagine what kind of tension it is. To meet my friend's mother, who doesn't like me, and why should anyone put up with that? !! This is not about love, but about an elementary attitude. Don't do it to yourself, because it can get worse and eventually your relationship will suffer from this whole story and yet, if you don't like my advice / opinion, I would advise you to sit down and talk to your mother. his, just the two of you, without him being there and getting along femininely, calmly, like mature people. Express your position, say the problems and try to solve them in some way ...
You are not doing well. The problems will deepen. Go to live elsewhere unless the MAN with a capital M does not want to separate from MOM again with a capital M;))
And why don't you live with your parents, author?
We also live that way, of course. There are moments that have some kind of irritation. How old is his mother, is there a husband, other children. You are great people, the mother should not be confused. He could just see what was happening with a rogue.
I currently live in the same hell. I am a man of 39 and I live with my mother and wife under one roof but in an apartment. In the beginning, everything was fine. And after the 5th month the tingling started. I will not comment on my wife's psyche, but at the age of 9 months, when she found out that she was pregnant in the second month, she totally turned 180. I remain between the two as an anvil. One could not stand it, the other was in the house and did not have to comply. He has been constantly tormented for 6 years. And I tried to talk. And I make compromises all the time. You can't make anyone back down. If I asked my mother not to interfere, it would mean that she would give in and be crushed. A woman of years has proven that she can handle life. She provided a roof over their heads. And at one point one / for her nothing / to shrink her tail. If I ask my wife to do the same, for her I trample on her essence. The desire to prove himself and start a family. That's why I take the blows on me. The question is how long it will last until I have a stroke. I am in the same situation, but I have a 5-year-old child who went from psychosis to scandals and we run to the doctors. When he raised the issue of selling the apartment and buying two smaller ones it became scary. My wife doesn't work because of the child they don't want in the garden. I earn as much for food. The bills are borne by my wife's parents who live in the countryside. There is no way we can move in with them. If he adds BGN 200-300 for rent, if we move out, we are alive and dead. You are a little better with the floors. But despite this division to annoy you and look for how to quarrel, will not happen. It is very difficult to find a person who understands and supports you. Try to find a solution and a way out of the situation with your friend. Dad will get worse. One day you will give birth and then it will become even more complicated. One piece of advice from me. Don't push him. If you give him an ultimatum, you will be quarreled and misunderstood.
If you have a separate entrance, what's the problem? Everyone to live on the floor. If you are in a block, how will you live without the neighbors interfering. And if the old one continues to interfere, you better get out, life is short!
It is best to stay in a room or buy a mortgage. If both are unbearable, from the day you return you have to impose serious limits on the lady - you go home and lock yourself (so it will not be possible to come if you fight, and in general it is not ok to enter you without an invitation - after all, this is your home, not her living room). Just because you live in a house doesn't mean you have to talk or visit each other. In your husband's place, I wouldn't communicate with her until she came to apologize. If he continued with nonsense after that, I would cut off contact altogether. Let it be clear that she may be his mother, but you are his wife. If she doesn't want to conform to her limits and let her son be happy, she just won't be a part of your life. We are already like that and we are very happy. In my opinion, these women do not care if they poison and cannot change, but they can limit themselves. If your husband continues to contact her in the normal way, you will just come out bad and poison you again at the first opportunity. Parents go as far as their own children allow.
If your husband doesn't grit his teeth and the old one doesn't stop, whip him forever. We were in the same situation, but we overcame it - we had to stop contacting my husband's parents completely - me and him. They are just bad people and may be hypocritical for a while, but then the old song starts again in a new voice. We locked ourselves in.
Ah, did you think to change direction so as not to explode? You are at the beginning of a love-family relationship - after 10-20 years, how do you think you will behave with people? Will you be more cultured, with healthier nerves and less trouble? By the way, if your mother hears your boyfriend squatting behind the wall in her house, how do you think she'll react? She won't be impressed, she'll smile and it's all six?
No. Not good. And no, you don't live with him, you live with her - with mom's son, in other words.
Women are not human, they prove it themselves and show that they brag about it !?
You are two sharp stones and that is why it happens. You say you explode easily too. You are very similar, except that she has become completely neurotic with age. It is not easy to live with malice and hatred. You can overcome the situation only if you make her your girlfriend, no matter how impossible it may seem to you at the moment. I'm sure she regrets her actions, too. If you make her your friend, she will not interfere with you, she will even protect you. Apparently it is the type of lioness mothers who immediately jump to protect the lion, no matter that it is already large and should not interfere. For starters, invite her for coffee and cake. Tell her that you love your son very much and ask her why she hates you. Be direct. Reassure her that the fact that her son already has a family of his own does not mean that she is not important. Tell yourself everything even ask her if there is any health problem (the whole and behavioral talk about hormonal imbalance or critical). Persevere, let her spit out whatever she wants, hug her if you overdo it. Treat her like a small child. She is just afraid that there is no one to love her anymore. Do it for both. Then set boundaries, but be sure to interact with her and sometimes go out together or celebrate a family holiday together. Everything is in your hands. Love always fixes everything, as long as you have the strength to give it. but don't forget to socialize with her and sometimes go out together or celebrate a family holiday together. Everything is in your hands. Love always fixes everything, as long as you have the strength to give it. but don't forget to socialize with her and sometimes go out together or celebrate a family holiday together. Everything is in your hands. Love always fixes everything, as long as you have the strength to give it.
Number 13 Why do you put a person under such a definition? Why be a mother's son? Personally, I can make such a "diagnosis" when I know him, or I know how he behaves with his mother, family, wife, etc. A mother's son is when he waits for his mother to cook, pay bills, solve problems. In this case, there are no details about the man. Do you know how he makes a living or pays the bills? I live with my mother and wife under one roof. I pay bills, food, clothes. I support a woman and a child. When my mother asked for a favor, I did not return it. We just live at the same address, under one roof. Am I a mom too? I solve the problems myself. If I can't, I'm not looking for help. I couldn't understand why you spit on this man like that. Not all of us have the opportunity for loans, mortgages or accommodation. This is a rather complicated question. I earn barely BGN 800 a month with blood and sweat. They provide me for 4 hours for BGN 400. Whichever bank I enter with this employment contract, I will be returned. My bills are BGN 200. I have a 30 year old car. Cigarettes, clothing, garden tax, unemployed woman. Due to problems with the child, she cannot start working. And against the background of all this, how can I set aside BGN 200 for rent? I can't sell the apartment because it's only half mine. I was hungry and without cigarettes, but I did not harm my wife and child. My mother is 15 meters away, but I did not go to ask her for help. We also have nerves and nerves, but apart from winning the lottery, I don't see how I can improve things. how can I set aside BGN 200 for rent? I can't sell the apartment because it's only half mine. I was hungry and without cigarettes, but I did not harm my wife and child. My mother is 15 meters away, but I did not go to ask her for help. We also have nerves and nerves, but apart from winning the lottery, I don't see how I can improve things. how can I set aside BGN 200 for rent? I can't sell the apartment because it's only half mine. I was hungry and without cigarettes, but I did not harm my wife and child. My mother is 15 meters away, but I did not go to ask her for help. We also have nerves and nerves, but apart from winning the lottery, I don't see how I can improve things.
Number 15, if her mother-in-law is afraid that no one will love her, that's her problem. Such people never accept that there is another woman in their son's life and try in every way to poison and sabotage their relationships. Going and getting fat on this type of people is a gross mistake. From personal experience I say it - as I behaved well with my mother-in-law, she came and poisoned every day, allowed herself to be super brazenly at home, to interfere in everything and of course spit on everything I do, went home, rummaged in closets. Ever since my husband and I fucked her and started locking up and not opening the door for her like a drape came the second we got home from work and just wanted to rest, we were just fine. She has a husband to annoy him. I have chosen a man, not an old mare to poison me. She tried to intrigue and set him against me, but she couldn't. This is not a mother's son - he stands behind his wife and if they do not comply with his wishes, they bear the consequences.
16/8 - because you write in other topics as well, but there he made his wife blacker than the devil, and his mother a saint, where he doesn't say a word and at home he tries to be almost invisible so as not to disturb you. Now it suddenly turned out that her grandmother was in the house and did not have to comply with any kind of no-brainer, to give in meant to be crushed by the no-brainer, and there are still constant quarrels. You seem to contradict yourself. In your other topic, you even admit that in a dispute between your wife and mother, you hit your wife so that she flew a few meters away! To me, you are both a mother and a weak-willed man who does not dare to take sides. The man must set the boundaries. I had similar problems with my mother-in-law, my husband was, thank God, categorical, defended me and stood behind me - the mother-in-law, seeing that her numbers were not working, suddenly turned down her claims and began to behave kindly and civilly. Now we are even friends. However, if he had not supported me in the beginning, we would not have survived as a family. Now I listen to him and support him in everything because he has proved to me that I can count on him and I am grateful to him for protecting me when I was vulnerable and insecure. A man who does not have the courage to stand behind his wife in an argument, and still wonders what the hell his family is and who to please in the future, to have peace, is uncharacteristic of me. Neither your wife listens to you and accepts you as an authority, nor your mother - what do you think you are? which ajeba is his family and which one to please in the future, to have peace, is uncharacteristic of me. Neither your wife listens to you and accepts you as an authority, nor your mother - what do you think you are? which ajeba is his family and which to please in the future, to have peace, is uncharacteristic of me. Neither your wife listens to you and accepts you as an authority, nor your mother - what do you think you are?