I'm asking a question that may sound silly, but I've been thinking about it for a while and I hope you take it seriously. I am 20 years old, a man and I doubt I can be gay. In general, until a few months ago, I never thought of that. I've been with girls, I've had sex, I've masturbated to porn with women, everything's fine. But some time ago I had a problem with the performance in bed, I couldn't lift it at all. And of course, since I'm 20 years old and I shouldn't have such problems, I started thinking about all the possibilities. In general, I attributed it to stress, because various things happened in my life and then and now I am under a lot of stress. I didn't decide I was gay because of it, but since then I've started noticing other things, some of which I've always done, others maybe recently. I also know that there are homosexuals, who at a certain age realized that they were, and above all it was normal. That's why I'm creating this topic, to find out if there is a chance for something like this to happen.
1. Not always a naked woman can arouse me. If, for example, I'm very tanned, it will happen, but in principle, if it's about someone I haven't known for a long time and I don't have feelings, and if she's not very good-looking, she may not turn me on at all. There are even cases in which sex itself is not very pleasant for me as an experience, but rather beats me a little disgusting. I explain this with the fact that I have no feelings for the woman because when I did it some time ago with a friend who I had feelings, everything was nice and perfect. But I still decided to share it, because I am somehow embarrassed to ask such questions to friends and therefore I have no basis for comparison to say whether it is the same with others.
2. I look at men, but not in a sexual way. I need to clarify a little. I like being a little metrosexual, I say a little because I'm not very obsessed with smearing with creams and the like, but I just like to look good, to dress well, I understand fashion and I try to dress appropriately. For example, it happened that we were outside and I watched a man get dressed, how he did his hair. I don't look at him like I would look at a woman, for example, to look at her ass and breasts, just his style. But it's still weird when I go out with friends and realize that they're talking to some chicks, and I'm not saying I don't, but I'm looking at men.
3. I like muscular women. Not too much I also don't like only those. But I decided to mention that I am attracted to girls who train and have well-defined tiles, for example.
4. It's not such a problem for me to see gay porn. Since I've been thinking this for a while, I've been watching gay porn to see what my reaction will be. It doesn't excite me, but somehow I have no problem seeing such scenes.
I mention this because it has happened with friends that we come across some similar videos or nasty movies and they react very sharply as if they are going to vomit. It is possible to exaggerate, but somehow my reaction is quite different. Again, it doesn't excite me, but somehow it doesn't disgust me. Is it possible to be a homosexual, or if I am sure, or at least I will have a sharper reaction to women/men? In general, everything I say can be completely normal, if so, I apologize. Just as I said, I have no basis for comparison to decide whether it is normal.
Please make serious comments.
Answers 15
From what has been written so far, I judge that you are not gay, you would not even be (or quite slightly), but more likely you suffer from some form of the so-called HOCD (Homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). This is when you think you are gay, you look for verification of the various statements in your head (often contradictory) in the real world, you fall into deep thought on these topics, you worry, and so on. I have had such a thing for about 2 years as a teenager. I had gotten there to watch gay porn too. It didn't excite me, but the HOCD is very clever - I thought it didn't excite me because I hide my "true" nature even from myself. I thought that if I lived in Los Angeles, for example, where gays are widely accepted, it would excite me and so on. (Absolutely illogical things, but then when you think them, they seem logical, they make you think, worry, etc. It is especially typical for more analytical and anxious people. I was looking for various research on whether a man could become gay if he was straight (because before I developed this obsessive disorder, I always liked women and masturbated to heterosexual porn, etc.). In fact, it turns out that human sexuality is complex and has a wide range, in reality there are almost no 100% heterosexual people - neither men nor women, but people subconsciously choose patterns of sexuality. Let's say most people are 80% heterosexual. It turned out that, for example, men can "develop" homosexuality if they have spent a long time in prison and have been subjected to violent sexual intercourse in a passive role (raped by other men). It also turned out to be the opposite: many homosexual people who change their orientation spontaneously, as a result of, for example, a catastrophe or even the reception of psychedelics (LSD is most often referred to, and there are still cases of gay men in LSD users who spontaneously become attracted to women after using LSD - for example: https://www.reddit.com/r/Drugs/comments/2zb89l/lsd_made_me_straight/?st=jhxdmapd&sh=8f92356b) Well, I think you're a normal heterosexual man, but with heightened sensitivity, which led to these obsessive-compulsive thoughts . Probably a lack of quality food and micronutrients (for me personally, magnesium helped me a lot to reduce OCD thoughts ... but I discovered it much later, when I had gone through other OCDs, hypochondria mostly. who spontaneously begin to be attracted to women after using LSD - for example: https://www.reddit.com/r/Drugs/comments/2zb89l/lsd_made_me_straight/?st=jhxdmapd&sh=8f92356b) Well, I think you're a normal heterosexual man , but with heightened sensitivity, which led to these obsessive-compulsive thoughts. Probably a lack of quality food and micronutrients (for me personally, magnesium helped me a lot to reduce OCD thoughts ... but I discovered it much later when I went through other OCDs, hypochondria mostly. who spontaneously begin to be attracted to women after using LSD - for example: https://www.reddit.com/r/Drugs/comments/2zb89l/lsd_made_me_straight/?st=jhxdmapd&sh=8f92356b) Well, I think you're a normal heterosexual man , but with heightened sensitivity, which led to these obsessive-compulsive thoughts. Probably a lack of quality food and micronutrients (for me personally, magnesium helped me a lot to reduce OCD thoughts ... but I discovered it much later when I went through other OCDs, hypochondria mostly.
I am your age, I am homosexual and I will share my humble opinion. :) You have no reason to worry - the fact that you look at the "styling" of the men around you is in no way related to your sexuality - you are just obsessed with your appearance, you impress others in this way and therefore on a subconscious level you "unlocks" the desire to compare yourself with your potential competitors in this regard (again - subconsciously). As for porn - this is also not an indicator, I even watch more hetero porn, brings a dose of variety. :) And all people like well-shaped, athletic bodies, some for men, others for women, haha. : D So don't take these things to heart at all and enjoy what brings you satisfaction. ;)
How I want my friend to be like you in this regard "I just like to look good, to dress well, I understand fashion and I try to dress properly." At 300 dawn I make him buy a 2nd a pair of shoes, provided that there is one who has been using for a year or so and does not look like anything, or to buy some NEW clothes. If you can, you will spend a whole year with jeans, this 1 pair of shoes and a T-shirt! Heat, cold, he is comfortable. I tell him to look at elegantly dressed men when we're out if he can't decide what style he wants, but he's not interested. Anyway, congratulations that you are interested in the topic of fashion and it is not alien to you :) Regarding gay porn, I also want it to be like you! : D I personally get more aroused by such than by a hetero couple, I'm still a woman, it seems logical to me .. I slipped. In my opinion, to call yourself gay, you must also have a sexual desire for men. To look at them as, for example, you look at a woman now. I also look at women, but it never crossed my mind to have sex with someone (lesbian porn works for me the way it does for you now with two men). I don't think you're gay. You can search the net for opinions of gay men on how and when they found out they were gay, what their "symptoms" were. F, 26
I don't think you're gay. It is normal when a woman does not like you visually not to want to kiss her or have sex. You like women with tiles - so what? You found it sexy and attractive, not a few men have the same preferences. You look at men for their clothes, and you say you look at women differently. Like me (I'm a girl) I sometimes pay attention to women what locks they have made, what dresses they have, etc. It's normal.
I'm gay, but I don't think you are, but I think you're starting to develop OCD, and more specifically HOCD. Be careful, observe yourself and if obsessive thoughts of another nature appear - look for a specialist. But it is very likely to be a simple rumination. What causes stress? You need to find a way to relax, maybe sports, meditation, walks and things like that. Different herbs can also help. Point No. 1 Speaks very well about you as a person, it's good that feelings precede intercourse. The other conclusions I draw are that you are sensitive and tolerant, and that you try to look good is also commendable. But you're not gay, definitely, you're just out of the cliché.
Eh, I'm gay, but I realized it much earlier, and I have no doubt. The topic is complicated, but it seems to me that you are more bisexual, tending to hetero. It's not bad to look at boys, for whatever reason. The easiest test is to try to masturbate on gay porn. If nothing happens / or becomes difficult / - you are not gay! :)
No, you're not gay. It is not true that after a certain age some men become homosexual. You are either like that or you are not. And you're definitely heterosexual, just like any young man, you have some sexual snares that ruin your self-esteem. It happens to everyone that it doesn't happen or that it ends quickly. Don't think so :)
You have nothing. About the "lifting" problem - well, it happened to me. Sometimes you just don't feel like having sex. Live calmly - you are normal
Um, honestly, none of these things led me to think you could be gay. I'm a girl / woman and I also look at girls' asses and tits more than I look at boys, but that's because I just admire most of the girls in the figures, I enjoy them. Lesbian porn is one of my favorites, it excites me, I've imagined many times how I do it with a woman, but if I get the chance I think I wouldn't, it's disgusting. But it never made me think that I was lesbian, I rather thought it was possible to be BI because of my ideas of doing something with a woman. And to feel something more than friendly feelings towards a woman - ABSURD! I don't think you're gay, these complaints about arousal ... it's more due to the stress in your life, as has happened to me and many others, and also it would not be good for me to do it with a man to whom I have no feelings. Boldly forward;) K.
"If you're the smartest in the room, then you're in the wrong room." Male of 24, psychology, nickname: Psycho I notice that quite well, you even formulated the topic-question perfectly! I guess you know that a man is a sexual type, with inclinations in both sexes, regardless of gender. The development of a certain type of sexuality of the sexual type depends on many factors based on the surrounding world of the sexual type, as well as on his personal worldview. Your sex life, you share, was "stormy," in a word. And he was basically paying attention to the opposite sex. Due to factors such as stress and responsibilities, you have started to look inside yourself and a kind of catharsis has occurred in you. This is a very good thing that happens to you, because that's how you grow. You will get to know each other even more and rediscover even more things for you. You are 20 years old, experiment. People do it. Who with men, who with women, who with both. You will define sexuality after experiments, not with dry theory. To find out what you like best, you need to calm down and give it a try. "Like looking for clover." You walk around the meadow, leaning in one place, thinking that there is a clover, but it turns out that it is different. You continue through the meadow and bend down again, and again it is not a clover. So several times you stop, bend over and it's not a clover. Finally, you bend down once more and here it is, a clover. For me, you are not gay, because you simply did not define yourself, which is the most important thing. My sincere congratulations and thanks, again, for the wonderfully formulated topic-question, as well as for the idea of opening a discussion! I will be happy to discuss any future issues related to the topic!
From the author: Thanks a lot for the valuable comments and especially on n1, it definitely describes me perfectly, I'm obviously going through a weaker version of just that. Thank you again! Greetings!
About you, you're confused. By no means are you gay, I don't even believe you're bisexual. Read, if you want my story, I have gone much further, no one has ever understood, no one would ever doubt, but I have reached and thought for years that I am gay. There are some things the result of complexes in me and it was possible over the years to get aroused at the thought of a man, but in reality it was not the same, I will never share about myself! From complexes and lack of sex I went even further. Whether I was convinced of my bisexuality or something like that. I will say ... In the real world I had never been aroused by men, I was in love with a girl in my school years, but I did not have sex. We hung out, but nothing more. I watched a lot of porn then, every time I masturbated with a small member (when he is quite tiny) and later I started to like other people's penises on videos, a little less to imagine that I blow, to look for the double pleasure when I mix my finger from behind and masturbate . Eventually, I decided it was time to play men's leagues, not masturbate on men and cum while I imagined swallowing while watching a man and a woman, because then I felt really sick. I didn't have a girlfriend and I decided with a prostitute at the age of 19, she was ugly and big, nothing happened. From there I did not reach a 100% erection, but I continued to get aroused and think more and more about penises, if I went out, there were only girls in my head and my feelings were only towards them. When I first got hair, I put on thongs (I had some men), I took pictures with them, I posted on a dating site, they wrote to me around the clock, and I was constantly aroused when I wrote to men. I only thought about their penises. At one point I decided and tried a whistle with a man, it was about 2 minutes, no more, because he finished me with a chick and I became terribly nasty and dumb. I erased all my acanthus, burned all my slings and things. 2 years later I fell in love with a girl, I had a lot of problems in bed for 2 months, but then we had unique sex. But then, when she wasn't wearing thongs or we were moving away, and then I was getting hairless, I always looked at myself differently and I was aroused by my body as if it were someone else's, on my tender side. I was in this relationship for almost 3 years, and if I have to admit, there were periods when I bought thongs and socks. I had no problem wearing them today, taking pictures and writing to men, and then fuck her crazy. The moment came when we moved away a lot and broke constantly, I gave a blowjob to a man, and he to me. The first time it was awful, the second time I liked the same man again, the third time the most, I didn't have sex even once, but I enjoyed touching and saw a bigger and harder penis than mine, but nothing could compare to that the feeling I have with a woman, just an extra palette to the pleasure I could experience (the sexual one). Now I have another girlfriend. For more than 6-7-8 months I can't get aroused in any way and think about a man, wearing thongs or something like that. I experimented and tried to think psychologically about the penis, it doesn't excite me, I'm not interested, as it has been for years. I don't know until when, I don't feel the need. I don't have complexes at the moment, I have great sex with the girl and I'm in love. Many times in my life I thought of myself as homosexual, when I did not reach a 100% erection alone and did not believe that I could satisfy a girl and masturbated only to men. Then I thought I was bisexual when I gave a blowjob and yet somehow I felt excitement and thrill and I'm glad I didn't have sex with a man. All the slings and registrations are still there, but I don't need to re-enter my image and side of myself, absolutely none at the moment.
Up to 12 You are definitely bisexual, there is nothing to blame your soul. Since you like both sexes, why do you need to choose only one? Bisexuality - twice as much opportunity for sex. However, the author is pure hetero. Honestly, I'm very annoyed by these definitions, labels and molds, it comes from the stupid logocentrism instilled in us by the ancient Greeks. Postmodernism is not done yet and we continue to look at the world in black and white.
How many people are wrapped up here! Author, try what you want, but still at some point you have to decide what you are, so as not to become like the commentators who do not know what they are for years and still do not know what they want. And so on until their lives are over.
12. I don't get aroused by men when they sit next to me and so on, when I undress with them in gyms, before matches, if we play football, on the street and never in reality, if we haven't written online and seen naked photos . I don't feel love, I don't like their faces, but yes, I was very aroused by the thought of a penis, but this thought and fantasy had nothing to do with the actual feeling. As for my sexuality, it can happen to me that whoever touches me, a fat woman, a man, a cool chick, probably a transvestite, but I do not feel love for everyone, but for a certain type of girls, but today, as I have serious relationship and I end up with my girlfriend every time, I've run away from my complexes a bit, I don't get mentally aroused by these things with men, there's no point in chasing and looking for this bisexuality, but yes, maybe one day it can be unlocked again, when I'm alone or I go into a period, I don't deny it, I don't run away from it, it's still anonymous here, I share it the way I feel. As for the boy, I don't know how to turn to a man. I have certainly turned purely and simply out of sympathy, because I want to look like that. For example, a man with tattoos and a nice body, or I would feel like a friend on the street, about the perverted things and photos I sent myself, only the notorious penis aroused me mentally, and as I said not in reality. I don't see anything wrong with people's sexuality, it's different, sometimes it's acquired, sometimes that's how you're born. I am personally happy for myself, because I have thought about everything. I would not have sex with a man, blowjobs, if I get along with the girl and I do not need, as now and for months, I also would not, but still :))) nothing is known in this life.