Hello, everyone.
I want to share my story and ask for serious opinions, not wanting vulgar inclusions, etc.
A 28-year-old woman. I am. I have a serious friend for almost 6 years, we have been living together for 3 years, everything is going well, except for one moment in 2 months in which we were separated, but then everything got better even. My problem comes from a single fact - my boyfriend is very jealous. He keeps saying that he only wants me, that only if someone comes he will break his snout, etc .. Thus, along with his jealousy, a sexual fantasy arose in me, which already confuses me a lot. I imagine having sex with other men while my boyfriend is somewhere next to me, sees everything, and can do nothing. What's more, they fuck me roughly, and I look him in the eye and I like his jealousy. In fact, I would never sleep with another because I only like him, but I like the fact that he is furious with jealousy.
I did an experiment some time ago. We had not had sex for 2-3 weeks, and one night we went home, ate and then because he was very tired he went to bed. I decided to see if only my imagination was in my head or in reality. I took my laptop, lay down next to it, and played porn in which several talented and rude men fix a chick. I went crazy with pleasure, and again the same problem, neither the porn was cool, nor the men in it, just the fact that my friend can see what I'm doing made me go crazy for fun, I played 2 times.
The point is that from that moment I have already found what excites me a lot and what I want, I am worried that I am already becoming very perverted in my desires. I like that he is so jealous, I constantly imagine how he looks from the side tied up, how they fuck me, insult me, how they empty on me, I imagine how I look at him with a sad look while he looks at all this.
I shared this with a few of my friends but not in such detail, and everyone's reaction was that I was crazy. I want the opinion of mature women, I want to know if I'm the only one