Hello! Years ago, I was with a man who hurt me in many ways. I was small and very much in love. I am now with a man I love very much, but I am sometimes sad that the other person has never apologized to me in any way, and here we are saying that he put me in a terrible depression then. I've been taking medication for years, and I'm still taking it. The hard memories would be more bearable if that man found a drop of conscience in himself to apologize. Do you think I'm right
Answers 10
What are you asking us if you're right? For being hurt in ways X or Y? What advice do you expect from us? How do we know if this person is really guilty of something to apologize for? Keep going and that's it!
No! This person can do whatever he wants. He has decided that he does not want any contact with you. There must be a good reason. Deal with the man you love very much now. The other is looking at his life. You do not appear in it.
No, exactly people who have no conscience should not think of them at all. Your problem is that you still have kind feelings for someone who is a complete geek, most likely a sociopath. Learn emotional logic - love does not have to be blind. Then you will understand that you should not care about that person at all. And if he had a conscience and apologized to you, you would return to him immediately, precisely because you are still obsessed with thoughts about his person.
And I hurt the girl I went with from 2006/07 to 2010, but I don't think I can apologize to her because I dumped her because of her endless numbers that weighed on me. If one day we sit down to discuss the past, she will understand me, and I will reassure her, but that is unlikely to happen. So talk to the person, no matter how difficult it is, and clarify so that your head is at peace. Then write here to say what happened. Good luck.
There is no wrong in this case. The man is right about himself - he hardly knew that you would take things so deep. But maybe things are deeper and you really have more feelings for him and the case is not whether you are right or not, and your subconscious mind presents things this way, because your ego rejects the possibility of still having feelings for him. Just forget about this man. Totally and completely, completely. Forget all the good and all the bad. So much.
Yes, you're right, but not everything in life is fair. You better forgive him without him apologizing, forgive him to stop torturing yourself. One thing is that he hurt you and you are additionally tormented.
I think your ego is very hurt, not exactly you, if you think about it yet ... People rarely hurt from the heat. They hurt out of ignorance. Or from the "sensitivity" of the other party (understand - a big ego). Conscience for what? That you perceived things that way? That you look for the blame for everything in him, but not in yourself? That you only want to be understood by others and satisfied, and you ask them what is wrong with them, do you consider them people at all? Or do you think that YOU are too hurt to care about how anyone is and how they feel? Well, take the first step if you have a hard time! Go to him, describe to him 100% how you feel, what medications you took, how many years you have been in pain, and ask him "why?", Why did he cause you all this? Did he realize that it causes you? And isn't everything the result of your distorted perceptions and self-conscious thoughts in your head? It often turns out that the person did not aim at what happened at all, some repent and apologize, other times it is found that the "sufferer" has just screwed up everything in his head, that it is straight to psychiatry ... And think - if he comes and apologizes to you, won't you, like a dog, bite your outstretched hand and try to bite it to the elbow? If you realize that he is being tormented by some guilt, whether you will embrace him and forgive him, and then you will forget about him, or you will cling to him, you will start pouring salt into the wound, you will try to make him suffer and so? Or won't you try to "resurrect" your relationship? But also to demand compensation for the damages suffered? That's why he's not looking for you - because of such possible complications. And in general, from the question you ask, "Am I right?" it's obvious you're not! :) The right question should be "Did I make a mistake?" or "Where / what did I do wrong?", "What can I do to prevent it from happening again next time?" - this would show some self-criticism on your part, some real search for the cause of your pain. Otherwise, in the relationship between two people, one is never absolutely right and the other is absolutely wrong ... The relationship is a TOTAL creativity of the two, plus the influence of the environment. How can I tell you - you still have a lot to learn from life. And avoid taking on the role of a victim - so you are guaranteed to always look for guilt and mistakes in others (but not in yourself), which in turn is guaranteed to lead to the inability to correct any of your mistakes or shortcomings. "Am I right?" betrays immaturity and is a guarantee for many more pains and misunderstandings. "Where did I go wrong?" is the right question, or even "Why did he do that to me?" still sounds acceptable. Forget about "Are you right?". No, you're not.
people treat you the way you let them. you say nothing about why and how you broke up and what the first one did. it is not clear how things are from his point of view, he may think that you should apologize to him, he may think that you deserve the treatment or he just doesn't care. in any case, his attitude does not matter because it is in the past. the place of the past is right there, so leave it and don't think about it anymore
It's like reading about myself, with the difference that I don't have a quality person next to me at the moment. And I had reached for pills, I was a wreck. Half-human. The man simply fed his ego and complexes with my unhappiness. Years passed, I never received an apology. Only messages with invitations for sex, which I naturally rejected. Such people do not apologize, do not feel guilty. If he felt guilty about you, he would have shown it to you then. These are insensitive people. I was in a lot of pain and it still hurts, I prayed that he would come from somewhere and tell me simply - sorry, he didn't deserve it. To realize the hell he caused me. Well, it won't happen - people who intentionally hurt don't feel guilty. So accept him as a criminal with whom you have faced life - some are murderers, others are thieves, others are rapists, still others are egocentric egotists who break psychics.
You are right to apologize. You are wrong if you expect it. Let me explain: a natural reaction to an insult is to want a rematch, even in the form of an apology (they no longer have duels like they used to). But knowing that the person on the other side is a complete idiot and egoist, for example, it is not serious to expect him to break his ego to apologize to you. If you judged him as a person who would apologize, it's one thing. But in most cases, these are people who don't even know the word "sorry." You are not right to expect an apology from the particular gentleman. You have the right to ask for an apology, reparations or whatever comes to mind there, ie. to have a desire to get one. It is one thing to want it, it is another to expect it seriously from a mentally disabled person.