Hello, I am a boy, 19 years old, from R. I graduated from a language high school with a German-English profile. I did well there, I graduated with a pretty decent diploma, and I have excellent grades at both exams after 12th grade. I am thinking of going to study and work abroad soon. I had to miss a year after graduating from high school because I didn't know exactly what I wanted to study and in which country. There's something important I want to point out in this thread - I'm gay (please homophobes save your comments on this, I've listened enough). I had a difficult childhood. Every day I endured all sorts of ridicule and insults at school because I was different. And at home I witnessed daily scandals because my father was an alcoholic and they constantly quarreled with my mother. Maybe these things are the reason I'm so shrunken now, with very low self-esteem and with many complexes. I have almost no friends.
Only 2 girlfriends and I wouldn't even call them that, because they almost never have time for me, they are students in Sofia, and we are quite different from them - they are party people, they like to go to discos, to meet new people. to be in the company. I seem to be a little more closed and these things don't give me much pleasure. I have too much free time right now. During the winter season, I worked in a hotel in Bansko and then I did not have time to think about such things, but now the hotel in question is closed and I do nothing. I don't have hobbies, I don't play sports, I spend most of my time alone at home, in front of the computer, with music and most often on Facebook. Lately, however, there are other things that are seriously bothering me. For a month now, I've been quite restless and have a hard time falling asleep at night because I fell into a man, who paid me little attention. Later it turned out that he was married and even had children (that is, he was just looking for some fun with me, maybe just sex), and I, because I have no experience in relationships, got into the movie that something serious could happen between us, even though he is 31.
Fortunately, I found out these things about him in time and I haven't been in contact with him for a month, but I feel very upset and I can't stop thinking about him, I often even cry. I am quite sensitive and I take everything very seriously. In addition, I have not yet decided in which country it would be best to go to study, and the deadlines are running out, it's even high time now and it bothers me constantly. On Saturday night, however, something happened to me that made my thoughts turn in another direction. I woke up at night and in the sleep/wake period, I heard a strange rustle behind the wardrobe, as if a bug was crawling. I couldn't tell if it was coming from the TV (because I leave the TV on at night) or not, but I stood up abruptly and turned on the night light. As I tried to fall asleep, I heard a similar rustle again.
Somehow I managed to fall asleep, but after a few hours I woke up again and again in this period of waking/sleeping the hanger in my room looked like a person, I was startled, got up and drank water, I realized that it was just a hallucination. Since then, however, I have not stopped reading on the Internet, and when I read the symptoms of schizophrenia, I had a thought that I might be ill with it. It is important to say that I speak to myself, but I really speak to myself (when I am alone with us). So, I ask myself something and I answer myself, sometimes I even criticize myself. I applied this to my studies and it always gave good results, I remember things faster by speaking them out loud and by asking and answering questions. I don't know why, but I didn't find this a problem before. As I said above, I'm pretty lonely, and talking out loud to myself, sometimes even arguing, helps me systematize my thoughts and make decisions. However, after reading that this is also a symptom of schizophrenia, I am now even more scared. But before, when I had a nightmare at night and woke up suddenly, the shadow of the hanger in my room looked like a man holding a knife or something after I turned on the night light, I realized that it was just illusion.
Lately, however, I can't concentrate on my future goals and follow them, which I also read on the Internet as a symptom of the disease. Furthermore, when I'm home alone, or when I'm outside and coming home in the dark, I'm paranoid that someone is watching me from somewhere, or they'll jump around the corner. Fortunately, at least I don't hear voices and I don't have the feeling that someone is putting thoughts in my head or something like that, but I'm still quite worried. People, do you think this is normal? I also shared with my mother (she knows about my orientation and supports me).
She said that apparently, all this came to me a little more (the story with the family man and the fact that I have not yet decided in which country I will go to study) and my brain has "smoked" and so I have nightmares and my they see and hear such things when I wake up. I shared with both of my girlfriends, whom I mentioned above in the thread. They told me: '' find a job, start playing sports, do something, instead of sitting at the computer all day, reading symptoms and thinking nonsense. '' But they, like my mother, say it's high time I decided where I want to study, to leave, to change my environment, to start building my future, to meet new people and everything will seem to be fine. What do you think? Could it really be from the stress I've been experiencing lately, from being too tense? Or should I visit a psychiatrist? The story turned out to be a bit long (for which I apologize).
But still, I will be infinitely grateful to everyone who has the time and desire to read it and leave some advice/comment/criticism! :) to start building my future, to meet new people and everything will seem to be fine. What do you think? Could it really be from the stress I've been going through lately, from being too tense? Or should I visit a psychiatrist? The story turned out to be a bit long (for which I apologize).
Answers 15
Friend 2 things: - Do not confuse good grades with social life. - Being social and having friends / social circle is like a "firewall" against all kinds of mental disorders. People around us can bring us back to reality. Humans biologically have a terribly complex and powerful brain (which is why we dominate the planet), but it is made to be social, otherwise it goes crazy on its own. It's good to share these things that are trying to share them with a psychologist (there is nothing shameful), he will direct you in the right direction so that you do not dig in one place and do not really cause any mental disorder. My advice is to watch videos on RSD on YouTube, they help to socialize (and women).
Hey, I totally understand how you feel. I will not criticize you in any way. I also support your orientation, there is nothing wrong with that. Maybe some will attack you for getting involved with a married man and others, but I support you. I am not a homophobe, quite the opposite. However, I will not write to you here how much I enjoy talking to people with such orientation, how much I like them, etc., because you will think me crazy: D I do not believe you have schizophrenia, I have read a lot about her, even I I was afraid for myself, but recently I came across people who are really sick of it and believe me, you have no reason to think so. You may indeed have some of the symptoms of schizophrenia, I also have some, but it may be due to some other mental illness. I read about BAR, split personality and it even gets funny to me sometimes when I discover another symptom for myself. And I often talk to myself, there is nothing wrong with that. You look like an interesting and smart person to me, you just seem insecure and closed in on yourself. However, this will only make you feel bad now, I tell you from experience. I also don't have many friends, they are almost missing, but I'm always looking for someone like me - to have common interests, not to be arrogant and so on. In my opinion, everything about you is due to the stress - that you are hesitant about where and what to study and you are harassed because of your feelings for this man. Stress can lead to many consequences, but there is no way without it. We don't just have to live. You can also go to a psychologist, I tried and went once or twice, but they didn't help me. I know my own and it's hard for anyone to change my mind. You can try and go to a psychologist. Your difficult childhood also affects all this. You don't have to worry about your orientation. I know it's hard to be different these days, but I think it used to be a lot worse, even when there were other stereotypes. Now things have turned around and I think people need to be much more tolerant. Thanks to those who do not hide and show their love. This happens mostly in other countries, I often watch such videos in which someone admits that he likes men, there are even deposit videos, etc. Here, if someone says that he likes someone of the same sex, it is not accepted good. I have not communicated with such people so far, but I would like to. I think they are even more real than the others, that's my opinion. Don't listen to what they tell you, there will always be haters on this topic and more. Forget it, what has happened to you in the past - bullying, ridicule, etc. Decide where you want to study and if you have the opportunity really go. It will be difficult for you, but there is no way. Maybe in another environment you will be better. I used to want to study in England, but knowing what I'm better than not going to expose myself. Visit a psychologist, but I don't think you have schizophrenia. If that's the case, then I should go for a check-up: don't care and don't live so much because of the failed relationship. The man just wasn't honest with you, but that doesn't mean you won't find another one. It will be harder for you, but when you find the right one, at least it will be real. And now I want to ask you a question, I hope the moderators do not delete my comment - are you from Ruse? If you want, don't answer, I just got curious and I want to know. F, 19g. Decide where you want to study and if you have the opportunity really go. It will be difficult for you, but there is no way. Maybe in another environment you will be better. I used to want to study in England, but knowing what I'm better than not going to expose myself. Visit a psychologist, but I don't think you have schizophrenia. If that's the case, then I should go for a check-up: don't care and don't live so much because of the failed relationship. The man just wasn't honest with you, but that doesn't mean you won't find another one. It will be harder for you, but when you find the right one, at least it will be real. And now I want to ask you a question, I hope the moderators do not delete my comment - are you from Ruse? If you want, don't answer, I just got curious and I want to know. F, 19g. Decide where you want to study and if you have the opportunity really go. It will be difficult for you, but there is no way. Maybe in another environment you will be better. I used to want to study in England, but knowing what I'm better than not going to expose myself. Visit a psychologist, but I don't think you have schizophrenia. If that's the case, then I should go for a check-up: don't care and don't live so much because of the failed relationship. The man just wasn't honest with you, but that doesn't mean you won't find another one. It will be harder for you, but when you find the right one, at least it will be real. And now I want to ask you a question, I hope the moderators do not delete my comment - are you from Ruse? If you want, don't answer, I just got curious and I want to know. F, 19g. I used to want to study in England, but knowing what I'm better than not going to expose myself. Visit a psychologist, but I don't think you have schizophrenia. If that's the case, then I should go for a check-up: don't care and don't live so much because of the failed relationship. The man just wasn't honest with you, but that doesn't mean you won't find another one. It will be harder for you, but when you find the right one, at least it will be real. And now I want to ask you a question, I hope the moderators do not delete my comment - are you from Ruse? If you want, don't answer, I just got curious and I want to know. F, 19g. I used to want to study in England, but knowing what I'm better than not going to expose myself. Visit a psychologist, but I don't think you have schizophrenia. If that's the case, then I should go for a check-up: don't care and don't live so much because of the failed relationship. The man just wasn't honest with you, but that doesn't mean you won't find another one. It will be harder for you, but when you find the right one, at least it will be real. And now I want to ask you a question, I hope the moderators do not delete my comment - are you from Ruse? If you want, don't answer, I just got curious and I want to know. F, 19g. that you will not find another. It will be harder for you, but when you find the right one, at least it will be real. And now I want to ask you a question, I hope the moderators do not delete my comment - are you from Ruse? If you want, don't answer, I just got curious and I want to know. F, 19g. that you will not find another. It will be harder for you, but when you find the right one, at least it will be real. And now I want to ask you a question, I hope the moderators do not delete my comment - are you from Ruse? If you want, don't answer, I just got curious and I want to know. F, 19g.
Hello. The condition you describe to me is more like a sleep paralysis, every person has experienced it at least once in their life, it has happened to me too. In principle, it happens when the brain is awake, but the body has not yet woken up, I do not know exactly how to explain it to you to understand it, study it to see what it is about. And the fact that you talk only to me is because you have no friends and you feel lonely. My advice to you is to think a little more seriously about your education and decide what you want to study if you do not find a job or hobby that will entertain you and be among people. When you expand your social circle and communicate with more people, you will not feel the need to talk to yourself, if you experience serious communication problems, you can consult a psychologist. The other thing is don't get involved in various movies that you have schizophrenia and things like that. I have a relative with schizophrenia and I can tell you that the work there is very serious, it was not hallucinations, mania for persecution, delusions, fears. This person I'm talking about had periods when he was fine, he was taking his medication, but after a while I realized he wasn't taking it and the nightmare began. One day I was writing on Facebook to the person in question and when he started telling me some confused things, he jumped from topic to topic and it became clear to me. That is, if you had schizophrenia, you would not be able to express yourself so well judging by your writing here. The other thing is that such people do not understand that they are sick and believe entirely in their crazy ideas about the world around them. The last thing not only for making friends, but also for a full-fledged way of life is the positive thinking. Buy a book and study the topic, I'm sure it will help you. Watch the movie The Secret, it is very motivating. People love smiling and positive people for friends. Good luck and head up! Vanilla...
Honey, I think you're just lonely ... If you continue to have questionable symptoms while you're happy and in a relationship, then it's worrying. It sometimes happens to everyone to dream and see different things, stop reading on the Internet, because your brain tends to complement the palette of "symptoms".
Honey, I think you're just lonely ... If you continue to have questionable symptoms while you're happy and in a relationship, then it's worrying. It sometimes happens to everyone to dream and see different things, stop reading on the Internet, because your brain tends to complement the palette of "symptoms".
I think go to study in Germany. For the other, you're not a schizophrenic. You've come across a lot of stories in your family, and that with the married man you fell in love with ... why don't you join the Internet on sites for people with a similar orientation. I think that in Sofia there are clubs where they gather. Look for people with similar interests to yours. With them you will feel in your own waters. Success! And take it easy.
It's just that the emotional stress has come to you more, everything is fine. However, I want to ask you something, are you a rhesus factor negative? If so ... look for information exactly on rhesus in English or other languages, there is nothing in Bulgarian and I do not understand why they continue to hide the topic.
I'm not homophobic (that is, I don't hate), but I also don't like homosexuals, and I still have to admit that we have a lot in common with you. The moment between sleep and waking state in which you fall is called a nap. I have had problems with it for years and it is much more serious. I'm not a specialist, but I'm pretty sure you don't have schizophrenia, you're just lonely and misunderstood, and the family problems that have accumulated over the years speak for themselves to this day. This is due to the fact that you talk to yourself, which is not so crazy. No one is completely normal. When you socialize and find hobbies, these things will disappear because you will just get distracted and forget about them. Start playing sports, it will raise your self-confidence and make you more confident and think about your future, because now is the time. Meet new people, who will accept you. If they don't blame you for having a different orientation, be sure it will be for something else. People are like that and there is no pleasure. As for that man - forget him, no matter how hard it is for you. You can see for yourself what kind of product it is. You can visit a specialist, it's not a shame. Success! Black Sabbath
This is sleep paralysis and is a completely normal phenomenon, accompanied by hallucinations that the brain turns into real things. It happens to me when I was under stress during the day. For example, on my first date with a boy, in the evening I had 3 "awakenings in my sleep" one after the other. Apparently the meeting had not worked well for me: D. I advise you to socialize more, get your dog will also help, enroll in some groups. You will surely meet many new interesting people. Success!
What worries you is sleep paralysis. What a lot I "saw" while I was in sleep paralysis. They are not ghosts, aliens and so on. You have nothing to do with schizophrenia, calm down. But people around you are right that it's better to fix things in life than to read symptoms.
Cool, no crazy person realizes he is. Tighten up, be masculine (this has nothing to do with your orientation)
Hello! I am a 16 year old girl and I live with such a person. My brother suffers from this disease - it is genetic. He is 21 years old. As a result of my thoughts, I realized that the reasons for this terrible disease are many. As a child he was constantly shutting down, did not like to go out, etc. I have described this on this site. You can find my story. It's called "My brother is schizophrenic. Help" - it was something like that. Ask your relatives if anyone in your family has suffered from schizophrenia. I think you need to take more serious measures. Paranoia will always haunt you, even if you go abroad and start playing sports. The most important thing is that you realize that you may have a problem. My brother doesn't realize it and it's very bad. Go to a psychiatrist to prescribe the pills you need. Take them regularly and do not give up, be strong and resilient, because if you are really sick you will begin to hear and see your suggestions. You will be aggressive towards yourself and others. Read my story and you will understand what I am talking about. Success!
Ha, I had a similar incident. Years ago, as I slept, I heard a strange noise. Slightly frightened, I looked up and there was nothing. There was not even any noise. I fell asleep again and in my sleep I felt a noise again, I started to get scared. I fell asleep again, this noise again. I decided to call my mother / I was maybe 25-26 years old /, I explained to her, she looked, there was nothing, she sat down for a while and didn't hear any noise. I went to bed again, my mother in her room, no noise again, I got up - nothing. I drift off - noise. I call my mother again, I sit in my room for 10 minutes, there is no noise, there is nothing, I couldn't even prove it. Finally she decided to push things there and we found a cockroach moving around a plastic bag. So, another time you check.
If it happens to you again, say a prayer to God in the name of Jesus Christ to keep you.
Rather sleep paralysis and hypochondria