I think I'm slow. That I'm autistic. That is why all my life they have been more special to me. I just suspected it. My sister told me that the other day. I looked at my mother, and she looked away. I couldn't study at school. I didn't have a girlfriend, I was fired. And I have no friends. No one ever loved me, and never wanted to talk to me. As a child I lived in a fictional world, I had imaginary friends. I identified with the female characters in the movies, not the men. I was not interested in communicating with people. And I'm mentally 10 years old. I often do not understand the words and what they say to me. I do not understand metaphors and hints, I take everything literally. Sometimes I run leagues. I also have gait problems. I can't do elementary things, even if I take care of myself. What I will do when our die, I do not know. As a kid, I used to play alone. Breaking the routine scares me. I am not able to think in words, but only in images and feelings. I hardly speak, and when I do, I exchange words and communions. I was silent at school. Literally. 6 years. This was called selective mutism. I have a hard time tying my shoelaces. I hate being touched, hugged, let alone sex. I talk for hours on various topics, I do not feel empathy. I have no emotions. Am I a psychopath? I feel resentment towards people for no reason. I'm angry. Very vicious and evil. And for no reason. I live parasitically, without plans and goals. If they don't admire me, I hate the particular person. I often distort reality. In my fictional world I am great and omnipotent. Besides, most of my acquaintances directly tell me that I am evil, vicious, bad, hooked, slow. How will I live from now on? Is there a greater evil than me? I never smiled. I didn't laugh. I did not feel warmth and humanity. And for the most innocent joke, I jump like a human beast. I have absolutely no photos. I'm annoying. People are running away from me. The others don't excite me.
Answers 6
The only thing that can help you is working with a psychologist in your city and reading books and growing spiritually. Search the Internet or use an acquaintance of your family, ask someone you know. I think you just have depression. Think about how to make money, there are a million ways. To be great in the real world, you have to be intelligent and watch what kind of people you let in
It's a little strange that you describe yourself as annoying, for the first time I hear a person define himself as such. Something is lame in your perception of yourself. Thinking in images, unwillingness to physical contact and introversion is really a symptom of autism. It has high function and low function. Highly functional is Asperger's syndrome, which is characterized by a high level of intelligence that you claim you do not have? What grades did you have at school? Low functionality is usually characterized by lower intelligence, which is evident to all. If you "run the league", how did you end up? There is a level of narcissism in you when you hate everyone who doesn't admire you. You can have both autism and narcissism at the same time. You don't sound like a sociopath to me, Don't you enjoy harassing animals? My advice is to go to a psychologist (paid with your own funds) or a psychiatrist (maybe with a referral), but they also prescribe pills to healthy people for the slightest discomfort, which is not highly recommended. Choose one option and go to be properly diagnosed and to fix your social problems. You don't understand people, that's why you're mean. If you raise your level of understanding of the world you will have friends and you will improve.
Brother, look now, I was treated the same way - I'm 26 years old, but my sister was the person who looked after me for years - even though she's 13 now - she's still a child but she knows how to support an older brother like me. . When I was bullied at school, she was the person who gave me hope (I imagined a 13-year-old to help someone older than me) I was autistic and when she was 4 or 5, when she learned to read, I learned the first piece of advice from her. My mother, like my sister, took care of me. Now I live alone, but my sister always comes to visit.
I don't think you're annoying, why do you say that?
That's enough. Enough with this 'creativity' of yours ... People, this is the author of the topics: Is it right to live? A man like me was not born. How do I get out of the past? Emotion problem. Suicidal thoughts.
Oh, and to add. As a child, I had very strange interests and occupations, and in general, I was not excited about the things that excited my peers. I haven't bathed in days. To top it off, at 12 I started having depression and insomnia. I decided to sleep my life. And I slept through it.