I lived for 18 years in a family with constant scandals, beatings of me, drunken fairs of my father and the constant talk of my mother that I caused it, that's why I ate a fight. I was constantly humiliated that no one would come out of me and beaten. I also experienced the drama of my mother and brother suffering from it. I also had a difficult puberty - I was even kidnapped by various boyfriends and bad companies. Nevertheless, I was one of the best students in one of the best high schools in our city. When one day I sat down and talked to my mother that if she didn't divorce my father, I would grab my luggage and run as far as possible. And so it happened. My mother told me that she loved us all and that she could not lose a man because he supported her. Six months later, I grabbed my luggage and ran 3,000 km from God, to my child's current father. Of course, I chose the most inappropriate man for me. I got pregnant abroad. We started fighting there. And despite the fact that I had caused hellish stress to my mother and my whole family by running away from us and living 1 year away from them, my mother did not stop looking for me. I returned from abroad alone at 6 months of my pregnancy. I spent an evening at home, and at dinner I shared the reason why I ran away. The next day my father kicked me out and I went to live with my mother and grandfather. I lived in them until my husband entered God, days before the birth of our child. We went out to the apartment and everything seemed to be normal until I realized that he was lying to me and pulling money to cover his debts from a mosquito. And I experienced this with a small baby, we lived hard, there was no money, despite the fact that mine worked for my grandfather in construction. He worked illegally, because he himself was illegal. There was a black stamp and a ban on entering Bulgaria until 2012. Hell of a stress, not just for him, but for me. We lived in a dormitory for six months, until our people decided to buy us a small apartment. And when we moved there, things got even worse. We started arguing more, the cucumber got stronger. My child was 6 months old when I was accepted to study higher education. I walked in absentia. I tried not to think about all the problems. At the same time, I supported my family with the help of my relatives. My husband kept brazenly telling me that I was to blame for everything, I wasn't a good housewife, etc. Mostly these were his remarks to me. I told him that it was very difficult for me to be a student and to look after a child and to have problems with him as well. I went through hard years. I started working, my child was 2 and a half years old. But that didn't reassure me. I started changing jobs often because something was still weighing on me there. It so happened that for 5 years of work experience I changed 6-7 places and large and rich company in a good position. I moved from place to place without having an interruption of the internship. I was always running from something. But I was easily taken because I am "beautiful, smart and ambitious" - in the words of my bosses. However, with each passing day, my relationship with my husband became worse. Besides the lies you can't forgive him, one day my child will beat me. I experienced this the hardest. It was entirely his fault, and yet I suffered. During this time, while I lived with him and had a lot of things on my head, at least I was doing well at work, my employers were in a great mood, except that most of them liked me in another way. However, now that I have finished my master's degree, my nerves somehow couldn't stand it. My brother also had some nervous breakdowns. I think of him too. I have been working at a new job for 4 months now and I still miss or make mistakes, but I am a perfectionist and I take these mistakes seriously. At home I have almost no intimate relationship with mine. When he returned from work, he left anyway. I'm desperate. I live without love, in the sense that even though it has caused me a lot of pain, I still somehow love my husband. He is rude to me, arrogant does not show me any feelings and especially when I need a man's shoulder, he is not there. We started from nothing together. With a lot of effort I created all the normal living conditions for him. I painted the whole house, I bought him a car, which he ruined and finally sold it in parts, without my knowledge, and he lied to me for two years, that she was a master. There are thousands of things. And in the end I feel bad. I guess you can't understand me because you don't know things in detail ... But I don't feel well ...
Answers 12
Thanks to the Author for sharing her story. The conclusion - "He who does what he does for himself." The author is not unhappy for me, but an unhappy and naive woman. Like most Bulgarian women, she thinks that by marrying some garbage abroad, giving birth to a 19-year-old child, life will be settled. The illusion is that only now is the bad ground. Who is to blame - partly the parents of such girls. The author is not to blame here, but the nonsense she has broken up after 18 years has ruined the rest of her life? Whatever he does, if he wants to enroll 100 graduates - life? has failed.
You have an Oedipus complex and you have to undergo psychoanalysis.
The author's way of life does not cost 5 stotinki, but she is definitely to blame for the unfortunate coincidence of circumstances and missed chances, incl. in the so-called rich companies, where they were misled that she was "beautiful, smart and ambitious." From what has been written, it is clear that we cannot talk about intelligence and ambition, but she is probably really beautiful to find a job so easily in today's difficult times. Anyway, the solution to the problems is only in your hands, author, here at most you get some reprimand and more, and you definitely do not need it. Success! M, 34
Please don't get me wrong. Maybe I met my husband when I was very young. I was 16 years old when I met him, I was in love with him. I did not seek financial gain, nor did I think I would fail by taking a foreigner. He wasn't like we were boyfriends. And I went to him because he had been extradited from God, 1 year after we met. I've always loved him.
I didn't find a job because I only have an attractive appearance. An employer would not tolerate a beautiful but hollow piece. My positions were responsible and I am an expert in very complex matters, which M. would hardly understand. 34. Many people envied me that in these difficult times there is work for me. There is work for specialists. I'm not looking for regret, not the least reproach. I just needed to share about my sad life, which people don't even think I'm leading.
In my opinion, people who have not lived in such conditions of violence and beatings have the right to take a stand on the issue. The pain of children born in such an environment lasts a lifetime. The girl ran away and made a mistake, most people do it when they are young and it is almost always a mistake for them. If you can't understand the author, then at least don't blame her. I also had a difficult childhood and I can tell you that I will never be a full-fledged person.
I can't understand why you're asking us at all! You are not unhappy, you like to be UNHAPPY and CRUSHED. Different people different ideals! I want you to read the story yourself, especially the beginning and the end! I want you to see the similarities and differences, if you can't find them I'll tell you: BEFORE 1 ... Unhappy child, like every one you misunderstood. This is normal. An aggressive father who has been rude to you, your mother and your brother. 2 ... A mother who is financially unstable and decides not to stand up for her daughter. AFTER 1 .. The daughter has an aggressive husband, their child is born! 2 .... The daughter does not leave her husband because ... Well, I want you to answer me, and don't tell me that you love him. You have no peace, no sex life and no basic respect from him. Tell me what's stopping you from kicking him out? Are you financially independent? You asked your mother for that, didn't you? CALM LIFE? Why the hell are you complaining and not trying to give your child what you want most.
Number 1, you're too narrow-minded to be able to explain "some" things. Victims make victims ... unfortunately.
Защо с толкова злоба подхождат някои, не разбирам. Винаги съм била добра. Въпросът, с който съм озаглавила историята си е риторичен. Задавам си го всеки ден, защото искам да не е така и се старая да търся хубавото, което да ме крепи. Не съм се старала да се оплаквам или да търся съжаление, просто исках да разкажа, тъй като ме боли и търся начини да споделя болката си. Знаете ли каква в каква дилема съм. Детето ми изпадна в нервна криза, когато му казах, че с баща му ще се разделяме. Направи ми пристъпи на нервна почва. Каза, че обича баща си и иска да сме заедно. Децата са несъзнателни егоисти. Обичам детето си и съм искала единствено то да е добре. По-добър баща от неговия собствен няма да намеря. Това, което най-много ми тежи е, че живея без да бъда обичана и уважавана.
... My mother told me that she loves us all and that she can't lose a man because he supported her --- here I am correcting you - I said that I stay not because she supports me but because when the children grow up they fly away from the nest and her father the mother stays together and does not divorce just because there is a misunderstanding between the generations
Number 7: My dear, I personally do not see anything evil in people's comments. It's just that everyone wonders why you say your life is miserable and you don't do anything to change it. Like you, I ate 10 years of fighting from my mother for upbringing and then 3 more from my father for his drunkenness, and I didn't do as much nonsense as you say you did. Like you, I ran away and started working, I met my husband, we lived together for 4 years and then I got pregnant. In these 6 years since we have been together, I have not heard a bad word from him, not to mention slaps. After I ran away, the old man had no one to pick on, and he started with my mother. And just like you, I put up with him because of my brother, but when he grew up he started using the same insults and epithets on her. She started to look like him! She left and he stayed with the old man. After 1 week he already knew who would take care of him and a year later he was calmer and more balanced. He still can't fully realize that everything was for his good, but it will happen. "I will not find a better father than his own." - The best thing a father can do for his child is to love his mother. This is not the case with you and very soon your child will start this role model. You will not look for a new father, he / she has one, you will look for a person who will love and support you and accept your child as his / her own. Everyone has the right to happiness, but to be happy you have to fight. P. C and after yours helped you with housing, then you reconciled with your father, and as the woman above says "I guess it's your mother" it seems to have been a problem for you for generations. And probably the nonsense,
Dear girl, you have experienced a lot and gone through many difficulties. Do not give up! You will find a way out - the best for you. They only know how to humiliate people and gossip on this site. And they made me the blackest and according to them I was no mother. Live in the name of the child!