Hello! I soon turned 21 years old. I have a strong character, but I already feel more. My conscious life so far has passed without the presence of my mother and with my father's constant business trips (they divorced years ago). My childhood was carefree, yes, but I met people's badness from the first years of school. Because I am a little darker than the others, I was called by all sorts of nicknames, implying that I am of Roma origin. Anyway, over time, I suffered and even made fun of myself, which surprisingly ended the attacks against me, but only for a short time. My father's upbringing was mostly slapped, no matter how big the trouble. Of course, he read me a horse more than once or twice. He gave me a lot of good life advice, but he always demanded too much from me. It got even worse when I entered high school. My father went to work and to work abroad. Since then, several lines have been hammered into my head, such as - "Stop poking your nose and start thinking about others, not just yourself!"; "Grit your teeth, things are not rosy at all!"; "I forbid you! I didn't know what a disco was at your age!"; "While you are under my roof, you will obey my laws and rules, you will do what I tell you!" - I did not have enough problems at school, but I was underestimated, crushed and complexed by my father. He didn't know me, he didn't know how things were in Bulgaria, but he knew his own and didn't give me a chance for anything. What saved me was explaining all these baseless attacks in order to protect and defend me.
Over time, I made friends in high school and people started to respect me, but to this day I have not had an intimate girlfriend. I didn't dare afford it. Ah, my father didn't see that, as if he were blind or didn't want to raise my stock, praising me for something. I'm not curled up in my shell, nor am I from a big mouth or a rusk or a jam. Even my student life is just to satisfy my family's desire to finish my major. I wasn't very happy when the results came out that I was a student, because that's not exactly what I wanted for myself. I was ready and prepared to enter the realm of art, that which would feed my soul. I can't say that I wasn't supported by my family for the talent I have, but they supported the idea of making it a hobby for me, not a profession. I was losing my dreams. I didn't dare to dream, because I was sure that everything would be scalded in an instant. At one point, I realized I had grown up too early. In no time I had become an adult, and behind me I had abandoned in the most cruel way my desire for life and entertainment suitable for a man my age. I was underestimated again this year. I wanted to go on a brigade to America. I knew my ability to work. I didn't expect that if I went there, everything would be honey and butter. I didn't even want my family to pay for my brigade. I was ready to try to finance it myself. Sharing with my father, I was not even heard. Accusations of selfishness, arrogance and impudence came directly against me. I was well reminded that the one who pays according to my needs determines what should happen and what should not, and that my job is to study, study and study again. It was the drop that spilled over the glass. I vowed that I would not live a life by my father's rules, but by my own.
I gritted my teeth enough. My dream did not come true for purely financial reasons, but that does not stop me. Fortunately, I have my knowledge and work skills, with which I can save enough money to finance my team for next year. I don't want you to accept that I'm describing myself as a victim, I'm just writing all this in order for a parent to see this story and think about the generation gap and whether it burdens their children too much, because from personal experience I can say that it is much better for a growing person to grow up in peace and carefree, to live his youth. Some parents, in their quest to be the best,
Answers 8
I understand you completely. And so are my parents. They kept telling me how I was useless.
Emmy, it's that simple. You get to work and look at your life without considering anyone. As long as you are financially dependent on your father, he has the right to restrict you.
Honestly, I envy you! My parents can't, rather don't want to, support me for anything, in any way, even for education. For them, I'm big enough to support myself. The fact that I enrolled in part-time form, a specialty that I did not want, because there was no way I could be a regular, they are not interested at all (the specialty that I wanted was only a regular form). At the moment, I can barely cope, I work in a grocery store for 12 hours on foot, and when I get home I'm rotten, but they don't care. They are interested in not asking me for money, to give them some money for the accounts, if possible, because they never have enough (my father works and takes bonuses of BGN 500, takes a pension of BGN 150, they also rent an apartment BGN 600 to my mother's pension BGN 230), and I work for BGN 450-500 per month. I'm writing this to you,
Instead of a brigade, save money for ... accommodation! Become independent! You are 21!
This surprising increase is a big shock. I know it, almost the same story. Now I will apply after 12th grade and my dilemma is also an art - in particular acting or a "stable" profession, which can not be solved, I am a calf and when I think of something, everything else is not enough. I want to ask you, do you regret that you did not make the choice yourself and would you like to study this art that you wanted now?
I don't know if the people around you tell you enough, but you should know that you are a wonderful person! It's obvious. I know how hard it is to try to keep your head up when your parents don't seem to notice your successes and good qualities, and you weren't raised as a jerk who doesn't care about anyone. And hand in hand with this go great expectations and ambitions, and nothing is ever enough. Unfortunately, there isn't much to do about parents anymore, so you need to focus on the future and especially the people who are waiting for you there. You have to believe that there will be good people in your life who will love you the way you are, without the thousands of requirements. I don't know what else to advise you, because I'm in a similar situation, it sucks, but hope dies last, right? :)
Really naughty, but you're 21 so you can just find a job and move out of yourself and then you'll do whatever you want. However, as long as you depend on your father and live in his house, well, sorry, not at 21, but at 41, you will have to listen to him again!
From the author: I will try to answer all, but before that I want to clarify again that it is not by chance that I wrote this story. If I wanted to complain, the story would be much more ironic and regrettable. I know very well that there are people worse than my situation. I repeat ... the story is mostly aimed at parents. To number 1: Man builds over time and understands for himself what is happening or what is not. Of course, the parent can guide you, but he will never be sure what you are capable of, for the simple reason that he (the parent) is not you. The ideal of the current parent, as we all know, was that time, Todor Zhivkov. However, today we are in the so-called "violent capitalism". That serenity that was there is already shattered, and adolescents are left to care for growing up in an unstable environment. If I continue, I will politicize too much, and I am not yet able to give any advice - I am not a certified psychologist. I can only tell you to fight and prove yourself, not to others, and not to give up. So did I. I proved to myself, and I still do, that no matter what happens, "what doesn't kill us makes us stronger"! Greetings! To number 2: It's easy to talk from the side, yes, but you know, the question here is quite complicated. I worked, yes. I have been working since I was 15/16 years old. The only problem was that my job was chosen by someone else, and on top of that I had to work on purpose without employment contracts or any similar ones, because in order to receive foreign children in amounts 9/10 times larger than 420лв. for a year you need a document from the National Revenue Agency that you are unemployed. These child benefits are paid to you while you study and are for all persons up to the age of 26. I will not explain about financial dependence. As they say - Remember yourself. Greetings! :) To number 3: I know I'm lucky. But there is a popular saying: "everyone's problem weighs more than the others". Now I'm going to attack you a bit with rhetorical questions! Why did you enroll to study something else, when your specialty is not part-time? !! Why didn't he skip a year, and during that time he didn't save on education, dormitories, etc.? !! First, your parents let you go deep into yourself, as it should be. And, second ... it's your own fault for giving them the reins. If you can insure yourself, you do not have to help your parents during your education. True, your parents are, but you can sit down and talk to them and share your opinion on the matter. You have that right. Conversation, first of all. In the family, things need to be shared and there is communication. I was furious with my father until a few months ago. The bad thing was that I was collecting this anger for a long time, and in the end I had to break a few glasses, a TV, and the refrigerator door to find out that I wanted to talk, not have a monologue on my father's part. After the conversation, I see a completely different person in my father. He even asks me for advice. I'm not saying you have to break it either. Ah, just ask for a conversation with both. They know that you are a great person once they have left you for the rest of your life. Explain your point to them and speak calmly. You will always find a solution to the problem. Greetings! :) To number 4: I was in the apartment for a while, but to be honest, it's different in dormitories. True, you live like a hipster and sleep on beds for more than 40 years, and for a cover you communicate with cockroaches and rats, you even know them by heart or enjoy all kinds of music, as well as inarticulate sounds and squeaking springs, also and talking with the help of the Morse code on the radiator pipes, but it's great because you build character and meet a lot more people. If you want to taste and live your student life like people do - the dormitory is your place. Greetings! :) To number 5: If I tell you that I'm not a little sorry, I'll lie to you. Of course, I'm sorry, because I had one leg in NATFA. Yes, that's right, the academy. I had a letter sent by a committee inviting me to appear in the circles. I had played a play in Tarnovo - "Suede Jacket", where without knowing a member of the commission was sitting in the audience. To this day, I do not know which teacher was there. Was it not Stefan Danailov himself or Ivaylo Hristov? !! So, the teacher shot part of the play and then showed the materials at the academy. Therefore, I and two other colleagues received an invitation to appear before September, when the exams are. I keep my letter and I have decided, when I finish this empty psychology, to enroll in ADT at NATFA. I'm inside with one foot, but I have to work for the other. If you really want to become an actor, don't miss your chance and don't make my mistake. Train a lot! Especially the orthography and emphasize this cunning letter "L". Mistakes are made en masse. A good exercise, both for breathing with a diaphragm and for saying the correct "L" is: Say aloud the following question and answer - Oh, buffalo Larry, Is it stuffed? Oh, buffalo, I'm lazy. Good luck, colleague! Greetings! :) To number 6: Thank you, number 6! Fortunately, there is a man in my life very recently, a colleague who managed to penetrate behind the walls I had built and did not expect anything. He was just looking for me, and I appreciate that a lot. And, yes, that's right ... hope dies last. Greetings! :) To number 7: And you're right, but as I wrote on number 3, at the moment the issue of work is a bit unstable, because of the contracts. And as for whether I have a job or not ... yes, I have found a seasonal job that is of my own choice. Greetings! :) He was just looking for me, and I appreciate that a lot. And, yes, that's right ... hope dies last. Greetings! :) To number 7: And you're right, but as I wrote on number 3, at the moment the issue of work is a bit unstable, because of the contracts. And as for whether I have a job or not ... yes, I have found a seasonal job that is of my own choice. Greetings! :) He was just looking for me, and I appreciate that a lot. And, yes, that's right ... hope dies last. Greetings! :) To number 7: And you're right, but as I wrote on number 3, at the moment the issue of work is a bit unstable, because of the contracts. And as for whether I have a job or not ... yes, I have found a seasonal job that is of my own choice. Greetings! :)