Hello. I'm writing on this site because I can't understand myself. I am a woman, a year ago I fell in love and loved a man ... more than I have loved anyone in my life. When we broke up, I was sick, I didn't talk to anyone, I didn't go out, I was in a depressed hole, I felt like I was dying. I had a very difficult time. During this one year I did not look at other men, I constantly hoped that he would return to me and that we would be as we were before. I was ready to turn my back on my family and friends, I tell you this to give you even a vague idea of how much love I felt for him. A year and a half passed, and one day I woke up and a kind of malice arose in me. Terrible malice I have never felt before. A thirst for revenge that gives me no peace. It was as if all love had evaporated overnight and been replaced by disgust and disgust.
When I think of this man, I get angry. I want to kill him. Offensive and vulgar words, swearing, come to mind. It's like I'm possessed by the devil. I think about my next move, how to make him dirty, how to hurt him, how to harm his dignity and ego, how to humiliate him. I can't understand ... what happened to me? Why do I want to take revenge on him, given that we broke up because I wanted to? Why, when I think of this man, do I tremble with malice? How to overcome malice ... it really exhausts me. But it comes from inside me and I don't know how to stop it. how to hurt him, how to harm his dignity and ego, how to humiliate him. I can't understand ... what happened to me? Why do I want revenge on him, given that we broke up because I wanted to? Why, when I think of this man, do I tremble with malice? How to overcome malice ... it really exhausts me. But it comes from inside me and I don't know how to stop it. how to hurt him, how to harm his dignity and ego, how to humiliate him. I can't understand ... what happened to me? Why do I want to take revenge on him, given that we broke up because I wanted to? Why, when I think of this man, do I tremble with malice? How to overcome malice ... it really exhausts me. But it comes from inside me and I don't know how to stop it.
Answers 15
I think you should go to a psychotherapist who understands such cases. I hope you don't let go of your anger and do some evil. Revenge is not a solution.
My suggestion is to start your life, focus on your goals and follow your dreams .. I think there is no better revenge than to see you beautiful, happy and successful WITHOUT it;)
Such is your nature. You are such a person. A noble and good man does not hide such feelings. Probably not you (as you write), but he dumped you and you can't reconcile, but ... that's life! I advise you to try to create harmony in your soul. Only you can help yourself, no one else in this world. м46
People have said that in order to hate someone, you must first love them. It happens to you because you have suffered because of him. It is normal in principle because your love has been too much, and you feel betrayed and bitter. But even that will pass.
I don't understand something - you say that you waited for him and hoped that he would return to you for more than a year, then you say that the separation was at your request. In that case, it was right for you to look for him and ask to get together. What was the reason for asking for a separation? Now the anger towards him - really better look for a psychologist. There are too many vague things in what you have written to give you accurate advice. You have to experience it and move on without thinking about it anymore - neither good nor bad. This is the way, I can't tell you how you will achieve it anymore.
He probably treated you badly and you want revenge on him. Write something compromising about him on the internet and stop dealing with him. You'll be fine.
You behave like this because you hide it in yourself and you can't otherwise attract his attention and win him back. He has taken his path - do it yourself and leave room for a man, but only after you clear up the obsessive thought of revenge.
From the author: I found out that he cheated on me and I hoped he would apologize to me and look for me ... but it didn't work out that way. Thanks to everyone for the tips. To number 4, I don't think I'm a bad person, it's the first time I've had such feelings, that's why I'm so confused
I went through the same crap as you. And they left me after they cheated on me. In the beginning I hoped, later I hated him, and to this day I still have it somehow, I fell out of love with him. And there will be a lull for you after you realize that revenge would not help anything, you will see, it gradually happens ... I promise you.
n.6 am. I already fully understand you, it is normal to feel negative feelings towards him. You better do it. Refrain from action based on your hatred of him - you will hardly be able to do him much harm, but you will certainly prove to be weak, vicious and unhappy. The best thing in this case would be to show him indifference and just stop thinking about him. Keep on your way, in time you will meet a person with whom you will be happy. Good luck.
Author, this is a completely normal process of overcoming feelings. Your mind counteracts love with strong hatred, but in time it will pass and stop caring about this person at all. Just think there was no point in dealing with him — one that he didn't deserve you, second that his life would probably be a string of failed relationships, third that you got rid of it so easily — imagine that he'd dragged you into such a relationship for years. You're better off in your current situation. Don't waste your energy thinking about it.
Author, without any irony I tell you: Be with me. Let you have good moments for you, not hatred for others (actually experienced by you). We'll have a drink, we'll eat, a good movie ... we'll have sex. Be happy with you. Leave the hatred. Don't think I want to take advantage of you. Have fun! Hatred is a force that is interesting until the moment you obey it! Then it kills you. No matter who the victim is. So you have an invitation.
don't live in the past people, look ahead
It's good that it's over, otherwise you would have teased him for the infidelity all your life and he owed you. From love to hate is a step once your partner has hurt you. Usually this is when you love very much and you have high expectations and such betrayal ruins you. I am a man and even after years I have experienced (you) the same.
Author, are you sure he cheated on you? I ask because I have suffered from such a story and as a man I can say that the most damaged is the damaged dignity. Have you talked about the topic. Have you clarified your relationship?