Hello, I have been asking myself a question for a long time and it is - is the opinion of a man's friends / company about the woman he is dating so important? I will give some examples: In high school I really liked a boy, he also liked me. However, many people had a bad opinion of me without even knowing me, including this boy's friends, and he later admitted to me that they had told him nonsense about me. The fact is, things didn't work out just because his friends didn't like me. He still communicates to this day (several years have passed since then) mainly with girls who have been approved by his company, even if the boy himself is not particularly interested in them. Another example is with my own father - he was always a good father, they didn't quarrel with my mother almost, but she herself admitted to me that she was annoyed, because sometimes because of his friends he doesn't give her the attention she needs. He prefers to go out with them sometimes than with her (his friends are divorced, have children, but have not remarried or simply have not had more fun with women). Third example: I had the feeling that my ex-boyfriend was with me, mainly to use me as a trophy, because his company liked me and I was interesting to them, and it was very important for him to be respected and respected there, although that these people were actually quite hypocritical. It's the same with my girlfriends - and they've found that for many men, if not all, their company's opinion of the woman they're with is very important, even decisive. Sometimes, however, his friends may envy him and be jealous that he does not pay attention to them, but to "some woman" and many men ruin their relationship like that. Let men and women of all ages be involved. Thanks in advance!
Answers 7
How old are you? There is a lot of hypocrisy in the companies (not all of them, of course), I have been in such a company for many years, most of them (again not all) were complex, those who were not like that soon separated and found a partner and a new environment. Lisa
Sometimes friends from a distance judge a person better and see things that we who are in love with our partner, especially at the beginning of the relationship, do not see. I always make my own decisions, but more and more experience teaches me to listen to the opinions of people who love me. Think about it, author, how many times you yourself have seen in your girlfriend's new boyfriend unpleasant character traits - he is aggressive, domineering, stupid, etc., and she looks him in the eye as if she has caught God in a raincoat. Here, however, there is a delicate point: whether to tell her. Rather not, unless he seeks your opinion. When my first husband proposed to me, I was dizzy and called my best friend. Because she is a very direct person, she said, "Are you crazy? This person is a dictator! You are completely different." and my best friend was quite succinct: "Don't marry him." That's all he said without going into details. However, I did. They both helped me with the organization of the wedding and never mentioned a bad word about my husband again, they were kind to him because they respected my choice. But they turned out to be right, which I realized when the butterflies in my stomach flew away. My marriage was a 16-year torture not for nothing, but because of my husband's dictatorial behavior, and we really had nothing in common in temperament and character. After the divorce, I was about to remarry a person from a completely different social background. Ie from one extreme - a rich tyrant, I jumped to the other - a poor fellow. A friend said quite mysteriously, "Don't do it," she said, "I can't say anything bad about the man, I don't know him like you, but you are dearer to me. "Another was more direct:" He does not love you, but is with you to have a better standard and to use you. "A friend said:" This is about money . One hundred percent. "Well, I still didn't listen to them, I lived with him, but I kept postponing the wedding, which he insisted on very much. I live with him to this day and I understand what my friends mean. He is entirely dependent on me, supposedly works (I found him a job), but I have no idea where his money is, it's all my concern, he started assigning me tasks like paying the next installment on his loans, first leaving me the amount and then pretending to do it, ie I repay the loans to him, otherwise he is the first of all the secular events to which I am invited, he brags to my friends (most of them are artists), he tells left and right where he had dinner, who he met, how he got drunk with a famous actor, etc. He was a confectioner as a child. He began to understand good wines, to frown at restaurant service, to choose his clothes carefully, and of course there was nothing wrong with that if it wasn't for me. He continues to insist on marriage, but I already have an earring on my ear and I think my friends will be right again. So, on the topic: author, it is not bad for a person to listen sometimes, if he is sure that the opinion comes from a real friend, tested over the years. I don't think it's hard to be different from ordinary gossipers who are just looking to create intrigue. to choose his clothes carefully, and of course there is nothing wrong with that, if it were not at my expense. He continues to insist on marriage, but I already have an earring on my ear and I think my friends will be right again. So, on the topic: author, it is not bad to listen sometimes, if you are sure that the opinion comes from a real friend, tested over the years. I don't think it's hard to be different from ordinary gossipers who are just looking to create intrigue. to choose his clothes carefully, and of course there is nothing wrong with that, if it were not at my expense. He continues to insist on marriage, but I already have an earring on my ear and I think my friends will be right again. So, on the topic: author, it is not bad for a person to listen sometimes, if he is sure that the opinion comes from a real friend, tested over the years. I don't think it's hard to be different from ordinary gossipers who are just looking to create intrigue.
A person to be involved in companies means that he is still a boy or an infantile, if he is older. As for friends, if he allows them to speak ill of his wife, then he is an obvious mold, not a man, and this is not normal. Paying attention to your friends and going out with them from time to time is a completely different thing. The fact that some women are jealous of their lack of attention is separate. You can't break off social contacts to be non-stop with your wife or husband, for example, right?
There is nothing more valuable than friends. Those who do not value friendship are selfish egocentrics. When I was 21, everyone told me not to deal with a girl, but I didn't listen to them and she took my life. He broke down to cheat on me and took me for an appetizer. This caused me lasting consequences and complexes, now I am alone, at 38 and I am not trusting anyone. And those women who are jealous of their husbands from their friends are the very antisocial types, obsessive and often even overly emotionally hysterical, which no one tolerates except their own husbands.
It's not just about "men and women" but also about what "companies" are. Some people accept friends as people with whom you drink beer and have fun, others as a hunting party in which they show their new wife and compete, and others are just a separate community, with their own culture and understandings. In my opinion, the ones you described are from the second one. And who, how and how much attention should or should not pay is even more subjective and impossible to specify. In general - if you are a village farmer, there are no fixes. He'll watch, show you to the company, and behind your back will be "how did I get this one". Keep it in mind and remember that if it's fun, but a little simple, it won't always be fun, but it will get simpler.
I had a boyfriend who didn't break away from his friends ... He's already an ex :)
There is no room for a third person in the family! The family consists of a man and a woman according to the SC. Children are a product of this family, of course optional. Every third person is external to the family, be he a relative, be he a family friend (s), be he a lover or an emotional counselor. Any unmeasured proximity to the listed leads to the breakup of the family.