Hello, I am 19 years old, a student. From a young age I had 2 best friends. One has always been into alcohol and men, she has always been looking for a rich uncle in the Sofia nightclubs. The goals in her life are to find a rich man with whom to go out to dinners and discos all the time, to drive in expensive cars and in a word - she has no intention to study and make a living on her own. But I love her, she is a year younger than me and I feel like a sister. The other girl is as old as me, she was exemplary, she had a friend, she didn't go to discos, she didn't drink. Once we had gathered at the girlfriend I told you about earlier, the good one misled the other, got drunk and cheated on her boyfriend. She soon decided that her boyfriend was no longer interesting to her and abandoned him, started going to discos and getting drunk with the other girl, and generally failed. Now the two have become close and do not go out to nightclubs, constantly drinking alcohol and having indiscriminate sex. I am very much against the chalga and the night life, I think that a lady cannot be called such if EVERY Friday, Saturday and Sunday that she is there on some weekdays. I have completely different understandings of life from them, but they are my only friends. The problem is that lately, I don't even feel like them. Yes, I love them, but it's like they're not the same people, especially the second girl I told you about. Most of the time they go out after 10 pm, with some weird guys and I can't tolerate that, that's why I don't go out with them. I've tried many times to find girlfriends, but it seems like most of them at this age are interested in finding a rich man, going out and getting drunk, and I want to develop, I like to go to the gym during the day, to run in the park, to read books, to go hiking. If I continue my friendship with these girls, will I go their way? Should I continue to hang out with them at all or try to find my new golden environment? And I, believe me, have really tried, but nowhere do I find people with the same interests as mine ...
Answers 21
The solution is to just stop contacting them or they will drag you down. I guess there are decent people in your group who make friends and go out with them, these two scumbags, dump them, nothing good is waiting for you if you stay with them.
Oh, there are people with your interests. Friendship is far from necessarily to be maintained. You will see that you will find your people. Have you tried yoga, climbing, folk dancing, skiing / snowboarding, language courses, etc.? And the colleagues at the university? Try. You don't have to completely break off the relationship with the two "girlfriends", at least not yet, but you don't have to be "glued" to them. You will see that you will find real friends. Nice life! :) ж32
And also martial arts, classical dances, swimming, etc.
Everyone should be left to do what they want. Ultimately, the economy is driven by diversity. I don't think you can go someone's way if you don't like him unless you're a masochist.
If you let them spoil you, you will fail! And do you have common interests with them since they are your friends?
They don't pull you to the bottom, but you have no common interests with them. You have radically different views on life. Keep looking for friends with similar interests. There are people like you, but they are rare and even harder to find because they hardly visit busy places. Black Sabbath
The same thing happened to me at your age, only I'm a man. Run away, I didn't have that mind and I gradually failed. Find a way to step back. Decent men want girls like you. M31
Better a poor horse than no horse at all.
Sign up for something you like and have with a team. This way you will find people with similar interests to yours. It's good that you realized. Don't be afraid to change your environment for the better. Once you meet new people, you will date them more and gradually move away from other girls. And when you are no longer so close, you can just explain to them that you have changed and things are not the same as before.
You seem to be a good and decent girl. It's up to you to fool your girlfriends. If you have a sustainable value system, you will not be fooled. But if you are easily influenced by others, it is possible to start following their patterns of behavior. I think it is possible to be friends with these girls if you respect each other's lifestyles and understandings. If they don't mind you going out with them in the evening and different guys, I don't see anything wrong with going shopping together during the day or for coffee. You decide for yourself what people to surround yourself with. But in any case, it is good to find other girlfriends who like you like sports, reading, etc. Try talking to people in the gym, in the park, at the university, if you're already studying. My own experience has shown me that over time, friends from school inevitably move away. But new friendships are formed at the university based on common interests and they are more lasting. F26
Infidelity means nothing. Otherwise, yes, look for friends with similar interests to get along with. Otherwise, what bottom are you talking about? To ride in expensive cars and have everything, is this the bottom? It is precisely such cunning people who succeed in life. The clever dig through the containers, the cunning watch from the upper echelons of power. Otherwise, I say again that it is good for your girlfriends to have similar interests like you, so that you understand each other ... for nothing else.
Whatever you get together with, you become! It is no coincidence that there is a saying, tell me who your friends are, you will understand who you are. Of course, you will fail if you hang out with such people, your second girlfriend proves it. The problem is that your girlfriends are not failed women, but that all young women imitate such failed ones, they have all become gold diggers. There is no longer human morality, everything is subject to the commercial, selfish animal world. The soul remained in the background (if there is one at all). That is why there are no decent families anymore!
Well, they are almost all like that (there are so many like you who think differently ... well done!)
Classic!
There are few like you! Beware and do not deal with them. Just because they are your friends doesn't mean you're like them. Life is too short to be dumb, like an empty box and have no dreams in life.
I do not agree with the above comments. And what kind of friend are you to them if you have such an opinion about them? You don't respect them, and just because you have no common interests doesn't mean anything. Friendship is built on trust, understanding, support and respect. They may go through a difficult period, they may have different understandings after a year or two. People are constantly changing. You can also change. There is no way anyone can influence you badly. If you are an independent person, you also make independent decisions for yourself without anyone influencing you. My advice is to stay away from them so as not to deceive them. When they are looking for your company, they obviously appreciate you and want you to be a part of their lives. If you don't want to, you just write them off and that's it. PP: I made my biggest friendships during my school years. Then I made a lot of good acquaintances at university, with people with the same interests as mine, but our relationship never grew into a great friendship. Learn not to judge people and appreciate them as they are. Take a little test. If something happened to you, from whom would you expect support (be it moral or whatever)? From your friends or from people you have a hobby with? !! I'm glad you're trying to stay on track and not do stupid things, but I don't support the above comments that you're a valuable person. All the best but I do not support the above comments that you are a valuable person. All the best but I do not support the above comments that you are a valuable person. All the best
and I bet that 16 comments is someone like your friends or in a similar situation like theirs - in your situation 16 are your friends hahaha. Joke aside - it hurts, but we need to part with friends who hurt us. There is a saying that says that as your friends are, so are you! It does not matter what excuses and conclusions you will find and arguments similar. This is a fact. If you want to be like one of them, continue your friendship with them and soon there will be no difference. I understand that it sucks and is naughty, but we have to do some things just because we "have to", whether we want to or like it. I have no friends! Today an acquaintance invited me to go out - I don't want to go out with one ... !!! >> I will become the same as him! Finally, the Bible says that bad friends corrupt good manners. Draw your own conclusions!
11 ... I feel sorry for people like you, limited people! Yes, the bottom line is that you are 18, most likely because the girl said that her friend is one year younger than her. Yes, the bottom line is looking for a rich uncle in those years. A real and valuable woman, if she is "cunning" enough, as you put it, will look to develop and make a living ALONE, and not to depend on someone and do whatever jokes she wants with her. You are cunning when you try to fix yourself and control your actions, not to fuck for one dinner. Shame on women are the ones described above. Because of such men, we despaired of you. Thanks to the author. End contacts, this is my advice. Success! :)
From the author: Many thanks to everyone for the advice. Someone had asked me if I had common interests with virgin girls since they were my friends. No, honestly, I don't. But we are family friends, literally from the age of 2 we are together on vacations, kindergartens and schools. Even our houses are close to each other. I loved them as sisters, despite the flaws in their character. Number 11, well, to be honest, I want to finance myself, study and work, be completely independent. I want to have everything, but to have it as a result of my own work, even if it means working for years, but you will hardly understand me if you interpret things differently. Number 16, they know my opinion about them, I told everything I wrote here in their eyes, but when they hear the truth, they get angry. I respect them, but as sisters, not as individuals. I don't like the path they have taken and they know it. I want my friends to have the same interests as me, because at this stage I can't make friends with girls like the ones I described. They disgust me and are funny to me. But, as I said, they are a family to me. I will give you an example. It's like having a brother and he becomes a drug addict. You will not respect the path he has taken and you will not like his way of life, but you will still love him. I hope you understand me. I decided to just limit my contacts with them, not to be so close. Because, as someone said in the comments above, tell me what your friends are like, so that I can tell you who you are. They disgust me and are funny to me. But, as I said, they are a family to me. I will give you an example. It's like having a brother and he becomes a drug addict. You will not respect the path he has taken and you will not like his way of life, but you will still love him. I hope you understand me. I decided to just limit my contacts with them, not to be so close. Because, as someone said in the comments above, tell me what your friends are like, so that I can tell you who you are. They disgust me and are funny to me. But, as I said, they are a family to me. I will give you an example. It's like having a brother and he becomes a drug addict. You will not respect the path he has taken and you will not like his way of life, but you will still love him. I hope you understand me. I decided to just limit my contacts with them, not to be so close. Because, as someone said in the comments above, tell me what your friends are like, so that I can tell you who you are.
Hello! I'm number 16. Number 18, I can't define myself as failed, but you know, one can rarely give an objective assessment of oneself. What I wanted to say is that friendship is not about using someone and when you are no longer willing to leave them. That's what Friends Are For. To tell you that you are wrong, to care about you. Don't think about more of them. It was clear to me that my comment would be underestimated, but this is the idea of the site, everyone to have their say. Author, I don't want to pick on you, but don't you think it's your fault? I'm sorry, but to have only two girlfriends and describe them that way, well, I'm sorry, but I don't think that's right. I don't think you're weird. You did not describe being different from ordinary people. I listen to rock music, I run during the day at the stadium next to us and I love to read world classics / I am not a fan of modern literature /. I graduated from UACEG some time ago. Ie apart from the difference in age, you and I do not differ from each other in hobbies and interests. I know dozens of people who do not listen to chalga, play sports, read, etc. You do not differ from other people by interests, do not look for the reason there. It's somewhere else. Of course, I tell you that with good feelings. I'm trying to open your eyes. I will not pat you on the shoulder like other readers and tell you that you are unique, simply because I do not think so. You do not differ from other people by interests, do not look for the reason there. It's somewhere else. Of course, I'm telling you this with good feelings. I'm trying to open your eyes. I will not pat you on the shoulder like other readers and tell you that you are unique, simply because I do not think so. You do not differ from other people by interests, do not look for the reason there. It's somewhere else. Of course, I tell you that with good feelings. I'm trying to open your eyes. I will not pat you on the shoulder like other readers and tell you that you are unique, simply because I do not think so.
Author, I have gone this way and the answer to your question is rather yes. They don't have to pull you to the bottom, but they will definitely hurt you in one way or another. To understand what I mean, I will tell you how it happened to me. I had 3 friends that I considered the best, and one of them, the best of the three. I had others, of course, but the three of us were together literally every day. I was something of a link between them, because as I said, I was very close to each one. Not that they weren't close to each other, but not so much. So, what happened. When we were little, our interests overlapped to a great extent, because we were united by games and pranks. The difference was that I focused on learning, while they didn't. However, the Lord kept me responsible and did not allow me to stray from the path. Honestly, I was hardly tempted. Like you, I wanted to develop and achieve my goals on my own. So the days passed and we approached 18 (rather me, because the other three are a little smaller than me). Sometime around this time, one of them started smoking (the one I thought was the best). It was more of a joke, but in bad things you always start from there. Smoking in general was very fashionable then. At school, too, many of my classmates smoked regularly. The result is clear, within a year or two we all started smoking regularly. I pulled for a long time. I was supposed to smoke only when I went out, then I stopped completely for about a year, but in the end I started again. Eventually I stopped them, but for 5 or more years I smoked regularly. In the meantime, I went to university, graduated and started working in my specialty. Although, that I did not study in my hometown, I returned every week. I missed my friends and family, and I never came across the right people at university. Of the others, the one with whom we were supposedly closest also received a higher education, but he did not want a specialty and made it just enough to say that he graduated. Maybe now is the time to clarify that after we stopped playing football, hide and seek and more. similar, ie after we finished school, the only thing that united us was going out to cafes and discos. In general, the other had no other interests. I didn't mind much, and although I tried to find time to read books and other things I liked to do, there were a lot of things that I missed. For example, I love going out in nature, running, cycling, etc. To them, it was like making them knock stones. However, as I said, for me they were friends and I stuck to them. Until at a "good" moment it turned out that both of them (including the supposedly best) obviously didn't care about me at all. Almost at the same time, both of them, independently of each other, began to purposefully avoid any contact with me. And as it usually happens, then I needed them the most. I had broken up with my girlfriend and felt very lonely and sad. However, I'm not sorry. I'm not sorry, because I've been able to go back to many of the things I've neglected in recent years. I started playing sports again, enjoying nature and doing everything that makes me happy, instead of soaking in a cafe every free hour. I'm just sorry that a long friendship (at least on my part) ended in such a ridiculous way. The third person in our group is still friends and we see each other regularly. While with the one with whom we passed almost for brothers, although we live on the same street, twenty meters from each other, we barely greet each other. In that line of thinking, you don't have to lose them as friends, but personally I don't see what else you can do together other than drink coffee from time to time. It is not my fault to consider your free time with them, because it will simply be lost. you don't have to lose them quite like girlfriends, but personally I don't see what other things you can do together than drink coffee from time to time. Don't make the mistake of considering your free time with them, because it will simply be lost. you don't have to lose them quite like girlfriends, but personally I don't see what other things you can do together than drink coffee from time to time. Don't make the mistake of considering your free time with them, because it will simply be lost.