Hello! I know that the title sounds very narcissistic and arrogant, but it is far from it !!!
I'll drive it fast ... So ...
I am a girl of 15 years. Everything was fine before high school came. Before no one bothered me, I went out once every three months and I didn't complain, I didn't feel lonely, I liked it, I never went to the playgrounds to play with the children from the neighborhood.
But the problem started in high school ... Everyone wanted to see me, to go to bars, to go around, to see each other at 7-8, the girl is a company, and I've never been that type of person and it was something unknown to me. Although I did not respond to their invitations, I did not feel comfortable outside with them, I did not like the outside environment, and I myself could not explain how I felt. I just get exhausted extremely quickly when I'm out with people. I once asked them why they wanted to go out with me so much, and they replied that I was a lot of fun and I had to look around to see that everyone liked me, everyone was just looking for my attention. After that answer, maybe 30 minutes dumbfounded in the mirror, wondering what's wrong with me. Am I antisocial? Antisocial maybe? Future psychopath ???
My problem is that I like going out with friends, neither to a cafe, nor to a mall, nor to the center, nor anywhere, because every time I come home I feel like I've been digging for 48 hours without a break in the fields ... No, I feel good. I love closed spaces. I love my home. I love my phone, TV, pillow, and blanket. As soon as I told my mother, she immediately told me that I was suffering from depression and some melancholy states ... The truth is that I just can't stand it. It's not depression, because I love my friends, I like how they treat me and I don't take them away from me, I would just rather they come to sleep with us than to hang out in a bar and pick up our phones without peeling and word, and with one eye to stare at who is sitting at the other table and with whom he has become a boyfriend ...
I think I've always been a homely person and I've never been on outings and walks, even my grandmother told me that when I was 3 years old, she asked if she wanted us to go to the playground and I told her that the children were boring and the slides boring ...
Also, I forgot to say that I don't like meeting new people because I associate dating going out ...
I wonder what's wrong with me ??? Do I need a psychologist? Can my mother be right that I suffer from depression? Does not wanting to date people who love my presence make me a bad person?
What should I do so that it does not hurt the people I value? I love my friends, but obviously the problem is in me!
I beg you for advice !!! Give your objective opinion on the matter! Thanks in advance!