Hello! I am 19 years old and I have a relationship with a boy of 2 years and 6 months. In the beginning everything was wonderful! I can't say that we have always understood each other, because it is normal to have light arguments, quarrels, etc. The problem is that in the beginning I wanted to go out, to see other people, to live normally like everyone our age (he is 24 years old), but because he doesn't have much money now and he didn't want us to go out! We were constantly in them, we were together almost all day, basically we did everything together! He was very jealous of me and pissed about everything - if I play cards with friends, if I look at someone (just to look at him, not to stare at him in love), if I talk to someone! I was really jealous! And it was because of his jealousy that I lost all my friends! I didn't see anyone and that's how I got used to staying alone at home! I even felt much better being at home in front of the TV than being in a restaurant! He saw that this and at one point he started wanting to go out, but alone, supposedly with friends! Good! At first we fought, I was pissed, but he started to overdo it! It gave me many reasons for jealousy and I was naturally jealous! ... This year I finished my high school education and decided to study higher, but because he also wanted to study, we decided to enroll in a university and of course I helped him enter! I helped him with his studies, I helped him with the house that is still being built, I helped him with money (even when I wasn't working - my parents gave me money to go to school, and I gave it to him and I went without money)! It's not much help, but it's still something! But I was accepted to the university in absentia, and all our problems came to him regularly and from there! He has changed a lot since he started lecturing! He stepped back, began to show nothing that he loved me, that he held on to me, that he wanted us to be together! On the contrary - he started to behave cool, we don't talk about almost anything, he demands a lot from me, and at the same time he doesn't give anything! One night he wanted to stay with his friends at university, but I didn't agree and we quarreled fiercely! I cried as a child, I prayed for him for two hours on the phone to come back and not stay with them! I was just very scared he wouldn't cheat on me! But he had never insisted so much on anything, and that worried me! I know I didn't do very right, but I felt like I was losing him, and I love him really much! He came home and we saw each other! Then I asked him why he has been behaving like this lately, what is the reason And he said that he just wanted freedom, he wanted to go out, and that he was cool with me because he wanted to teach me to be more combative, so that if we ever split up I wouldn't suffer! (provided that before only when we talked about separation and he went crazy) We talked a little and got along! The next day I found out that he had returned to his friends in the evening and had lied to me all day that he had not done so! He finally confessed, because he saw that it was pointless to lie more! But I became even more suspicious and started checking on him - I dug into his phone and computer. Of course, I found more reason to doubt and told him, and we quarreled again, but I closed my eyes again! I doubt he's cheating on me with a girl from university (I have little evidence of that), and I'm very scared! Please tell me what to do! I can't stand this tension anymore. I'm constantly nervous, I'm constantly crying, even while we're having sex I think he's imagining he's with her! I try to convince myself that he is not cheating on me, and I think nonsense, because I have "clung" to him to such an extent that I get burned by the slightest thing! Tell me what your opinion is! Please give me advice! I feel like I'm going crazy already! Thank you in advance!
Answers 6
Dear girl, it is obvious that you love this boy, but ask him if he loves you, because from what I have read so far I do not think that it is so and that it never was. If he didn't appreciate what you did for him ... you helped him be accepted as a student, you helped him with money, you stopped all contact with other people because of him, etc ... what kind of love are we talking about? ?? In my opinion, he accepts you as his property, since he does not comply with your requests and wishes and, on top of everything, he has cheated on you. My advice is to part with him, not to ruin your youth with a person who does not deserve it. Leave him, start your life anew without him ... You are a student, what more wonderful than that, you have the opportunity to meet many new people and make new friends. If you don't break free from this relationship, you will continue to spin in a vicious circle ...
Drop it, there's no point in getting annoyed. I gave it to him, but he kept me looking, today we have been doing it for 3 years since it was our first kiss, once again he proved that he is not the one I am looking for, naked love is not enough to run away, but I always forgave and came back in the end like that ..... that your imagination is poor, small doubts that it is not as it should be in addition to your character and understandings and lose it success be strong :)
Hello dear!!! When I read your story, I had the feeling that it was written for me. All this is so familiar to me in one form or another, because I have been in a very similar situation. It is very difficult to make a decision, but I think it is right to try to give freedom to your friend and so you will get yours. It happened to me, I withdrew, I suffered, I cried often, I didn't feel like going out and communicating with anyone, but things changed. There is always a balance in life, if you have done good it will come back to you in one way or another. So at a time when you do not expect at all, I met a man. It was hard for me to imagine that I could be with someone else, because I had not yet forgotten my old friend, but I just decided to try. These were the most exciting moments in my life, I had never experienced the joy of this . I broke away from my old life so quickly that I even allowed myself to remember with a smile - thanks to the past I can appreciate the present. I have been with my boyfriend for almost four years now, and in the summer we are making plans to get married. I love him so much, because what I was looking for as an attitude and understanding I received, what I gave some time ago came back to me and it was much more real. and beautiful. About my old relationship - I quickly forgot about it, but he didn't forget me. It happens that we meet by chance and I see that the one who feels lost is him. He probably hasn't met the right woman, but I wish it would happen soon. What I wanted to tell you is to let fate teach you a lesson, sometimes it's better to go with the flow without resisting - there's no way we can't find ourselves in a new place. The man we think loves us, it must follow us, if this does not happen, we obviously deserve to meet something more real in life! Good luck
Hi, almost the same thing happened to me. I guess when you weren't jealous of him and wanted to go out, he was very jealous of you and after he subdued you he of course asked for freedom after he didn't want it before. Believe me, I have experienced exactly the same thing. My friend had gone to America, and when he returned he found that I had a life of my own, and it irritated him a lot, he was jealous of my girlfriends, he wanted us to be together all the time, until he broke away from everyone. Then I started to be jealous of him because I knew I only had him, and he accused me of wanting to tear him away from his friends, he said I was ruining our relationship, and I was crazy. Then it so happened that I left and I had built my own life again and he then went mad with jealousy again and the coin turned again. When I came back he managed to tear me away from everything and so I started to be jealous again, he told me that I was new to everything. But no matter how much I think about it today, I am increasingly convinced that this is a psychological attack, so if you do not want to go the same way, the hellish way I went, listen to my advice, because then I did not listen to anyone. First find your friends, go out, believe me in the beginning it will be very difficult for you because he will raise scandals, he will cry maybe, but don't bend even for a moment, because this is a theater. Once you do, I'm sure things will get better, and then you'll be able to soberly decide if you want to be with someone who's trying to drive you crazy. Bold and crazy, good luck. But no matter how much I think about it today, I am increasingly convinced that this is a psychological attack, so if you do not want to go the same way, the hellish way I went, listen to my advice, because then I did not listen to anyone. First find your friends, go out, believe me in the beginning it will be very difficult for you because he will raise scandals, he will cry maybe, but don't bend even for a moment, because this is a theater. Once you do, I'm sure things will get better, and then you'll be able to soberly decide if you want to be with someone who's trying to drive you crazy. Bold and crazy, good luck. But no matter how much I think about it today, I am increasingly convinced that this is a psychological attack, so if you do not want to go the same way, the hellish way I went, listen to my advice, because then I did not listen to anyone. First find your friends, go out, believe me in the beginning it will be very difficult for you because he will raise scandals, he will cry maybe, but don't bend even for a moment, because this is a theater. Once you do, I'm sure things will get better, and then you'll be able to soberly decide if you want to be with someone who's trying to drive you crazy. Bold and crazy, good luck. will cry maybe, but don't bend even for a moment, because this is theater. Once you do, I'm sure things will get better, and then you'll be able to soberly decide if you want to be with someone who's trying to drive you crazy. Bold and crazy, good luck. will cry maybe, but don't bend even for a moment, because this is theater. Once you do, I'm sure things will get better, and then you'll be able to soberly decide if you want to be with someone who's trying to drive you crazy. Bold and crazy, good luck.
Thanks to everyone for the tips!
There is a saying "a man does whatever he does to himself, no one else can do it to him". You are to blame for his current behavior. You allowed him to train you like that, now he is not angry with him. Drop it, there are others, the world is not over with him. Good luck.