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Family

Before A Second Divorce

By nancy_777_dior July 16, 2020 9 answers Last updated July 16, 2020

I go straight to the problem:

From my first marriage I have a daughter at the age of 14, with a father and we separated after ten years of a relationship when the child was three, because of his mother, my wife was constantly mentally abused and controlled my husband completely, did not allow us to be independent and to we make our own decisions, so after a long and severe depression, I decided to divorce. Somehow I got out of the shackles of this condition, went to live with my parents, and moved on. My ex-husband stopped seeing the child and paying alimony and started changing wives every other month. I realized that my decision was for the better.

 

Three years after the divorce, I met a man with whom I felt the peace we all seek. We saw each other for about half a year before I introduced him to my child. The acquaintance went well, they liked each other and the three of us started going out. For a year we saw each other almost every day and decided to live together. Bach was very happy that I got my second chance and everything was very harmonious until our child was born. Then my husband, unknowingly or not, started arguing with my child about what was going on and what was going on, and that hurt me like hell. We have talked about this problem countless times, but he refused to acknowledge his behavior as hurtful and thought it was normal. I felt very bad, my daughter was crying and telling me that no one loved her and that everyone loved only her brother. Over time, I became very cold to him and could not even think of having sex with someone who was torturing me emotionally. He does not understand that no woman can make love to someone who hurts her mentally, with us the emotion is leading, not the appearance, but he does not understand it and often makes me be with him without me wanting it. We live like this

for four years, except that he makes me have sex on duty behaves normally, no longer quarrels with me, but does not stand this situation, I loved him and I'm used to it, I do not want to part, but and I don't want to live like that.

 

At the moment, my daughter and I have almost no contact and no longer quarrel, but my withdrawal remains. Is there a way back, is there a way to rediscover it purely sexually?

I think about separation, but it's so scary with two children by two men, public opinion has always scared me, and in this case, I'm terrified of people's malice.

Has anyone been in such a situation and what did you do, how did you continue your life and what did it lead to?

Answers 9

1
mia_gerson answered · July 16, 2020
Well, yes, it happens when you rush to leave your first husband and ruin your family and start looking for a new "father" of your child from the old relationship, but this is impossible because no one can replace the father. No man can accept 100% of the children of a woman from another relationship and this is an absolute fact, no matter how much they swear otherwise. You are now in a difficult situation from which whatever you do will hurt one of your children. Congratulations.
2
threegirls18 answered · July 16, 2020
One child, two children, one father, two fathers ... meaning - zero. Get up and leave and look for your happiness! Even if it's hellishly difficult, it's better than feeling unwanted, neglected, not to mention emotionally abusing a child.
3
mandj2014 answered · July 16, 2020
Read the topic "I am on the verge of a second divorce". There the author described a similar situation.
4
ranagoo1 answered · July 16, 2020
Well, number one is the famous, mega-famous misogynist who didn't forget to make you a salad with vinegar and lemon. The woman seeks advice, not reproaches and criticisms, you are terrible ... I think that the calmness and psychological comfort of your daughter and yours are more important than all men and all sex in this world. Assess the financial situation, make a kind of business plan for escape and a new life and act. Maybe it's worth talking to your husband one last time and giving him one last chance, but with a deadline. Maybe that's what you're going to decide. It is not easy for a woman with children / whether they are from one or several fathers /, I will not lie to you. But there are more important things than men and the so-called love. Which lasts three years ...
5
sakura_doll_ answered · July 16, 2020
No man in the world deserves to sacrifice your child for him.
6
chrisl1992 answered · July 16, 2020
"He doesn't fight with me anymore." with your daughter too ... So his relationship has reached zero zero indifference to you. He doesn't care if you back off or not. He's having sex with you just because you're close at hand. "... he doesn't understand it and often makes me be with him without wanting to. We live like this. "I don't understand how a husband will make his wife over 30 have sex (unless she's violent) with him if she doesn't want to?" And believe me, men also know very well the difference between making love and just having sex. Your cooling is obviously shared. I think your marriage is de facto over. It is only a matter of time before this is legalized. Rediscoverings, the resurrection of extinct love and other miracles are only present in romantic series. A dead horse does not kick in life. "Public opinion has always scared me ...". I would be more scared to live the way you live. Did people's anger terrify you if you were divorced? What about being married (formally), is their love very warm?
7
carling_karen answered · July 17, 2020
I don't understand why you attack the woman? My mother kicked my father exactly one year after their marriage because she realized quickly enough that it was NOT for a father and a family. Yes, they were young, they were wrong, all of them, but it's great that she left. Over the years, she dated some drummers who wouldn't accept me, and she got rid of them all, just for me. And there was a principle that either the man next to her should accept me or there would simply be no man. And she was perfectly ok with that. And the most important thing for the children is for the mother to be happy, from there everyone is happy. Ma'am, stop looking for anonymous advice from complexes on the sites and look for guilt in yourself and blame yourself. You are old people, it happens all the time, my father is just like your first husband, and someone wrote above that you had to stay with him (explode, pls). Then why do children grow up with complexes, depression, and who knows what other problems? If the parents do not understand each other - separately, otherwise you ruin your life and theirs. Better to be alone and calm than with someone and unhappy. Good luck.
8
ausfemdomslut answered · July 17, 2020
From the author: Thank you for the advice, sometimes a person really feels confused and does not know what to do. I had a long conversation with my husband and he is adamant that he loves me and does not want us to part. For my feelings he does not want to hear at all, he does not care that I do not feel anything for him. I felt sorry and decided to think for some time, although without feelings, I prefer to live alone with my children and I think that after everything I've been through, I wouldn't want to have relationships at all. The financial side of things is that he has a business and we can afford whatever we want to, but I also work because it makes me feel more useful and I think I could do without his help, the more complicated thing is that we live in another country and I can only count on the help of babysitters. I stay with him only because he has money, it does not bring me happiness. On the other hand, I feel calm with him towards men, they know that I am committed, nobody cares about me and I feel so good when I was alone, I always wanted to run away from male attention, but it turned out to be very difficult, neighbors, colleagues, there is no way to live in isolation male, and now that's all I want.
9
dansbdick answered · July 18, 2020
To number 8. Hey boy, take it easy. Do you realize that if it weren't for your father, you wouldn't be here and fucking under this post. Do you realize that no one but the father and the mother can feel unconditional love for their children, whether they are divorced or living together?
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