Hello, I am a 21-year-old girl. I just want to tell you something that weighs on me. I have been in a relationship for several months with a good boy from a good family-N. We met him in an inappropriate place in front of a large part of my friends and acquaintances, as well as my ex. It was love at first sight - I just fell in love with it and nothing else interested me. We started dating and for almost a month I met his parents, his friends and even his more distant relatives. Accordingly, I introduced him to ours, some of my friends, etc. In a very short time we both got very close to each other. Everything was perfect. But in the beginning, I warned him about two of my male friends, already realized and about 10 years older than me, that we are close, we go out, BUT ONLY as friends. He said there were no problems, because he also has female girlfriends to whom there is NOTHING more than a friendly interest. So time passed, everyone perceived us as a couple and everything was almost perfect. I will not go into details about how his ex and my ex ate each other out of anger and malice, how they tried to do tricks on us - unsuccessfully. One day we both commented on how we had suddenly become anti-social, how very rarely a friend remembered us and only looked for us when they benefited from us. This is atypical for me, because although I was brought up not to harass and annoy people, my phone always rang and different people thought of me, but they just wanted to see me because they liked my company. A few days ago, N. and I both had no money and decided to stay at home (we both live with our parents). We agreed to talk at some point. It so happened that my father was gone and I was with my mother. We had dinner, talked and I saw that a friend P. called me 3 times. I was very happy because I wanted to go out and we agreed that he would take me from us and have a drink. However, after I locked him up, doubts began to arise as to whether to call my boyfriend and tell him that I would go out. He wouldn't like it, he would grumble and make me cheat on him. Anyway, I didn't call him. I got better, and I went out with P. At 10. 30 N. called me to ask what I was doing and I told him that I was with a friend outside. He freaked out and told me to go out in front of the restaurant in 15 minutes. After 15 minutes I went out and he was furious. He was out of his mind! He asked me what I was doing there and told me that "I dressed very well". I told him not to make scenes and to come in and meet P. I did not lie to him that I was with colleagues or girlfriends. I wanted to be honest with him. He never showed that he was jealous, and I didn't think I would provoke such a reaction in him. Anyway ... he got in the car and left, and I came back and told P. that N. had broken me. P. told me not to take things so tragically, and I told him I wanted to go home. At that moment, P. asked me if my boyfriend was smoking because he was waiting for me in front of the restaurant. I went out, and he didn't want to talk to me or let me in the car. Then P. came out and told N. not to make scenes and not to fight, because in fact ... nothing happened and we have known each other for years. N. took me to us and said, "You're free!" I left, and he left with 200. I thought this was the last time, in which I will see him. I talked to our people, they told me that I am a free person and I do not have to explain myself and this is not infidelity or surrender. N. had called me 10 times, and he had even sent an SMS. He was waiting for me in front of us and told me that he was sorry he had lost his temper. I tried to explain to him that I was a free man and that even our people didn't care. We finally got along, but I feel he feels betrayed. At the beginning of our relationship I was more in love, I made nice gestures, I told him first that I love him. But at the moment, things seem to be changing and he shows me his feelings more often. I'm trying to tell him it's time to grow up. He can't afford to make such children's scenes for me in front of people I consider close and have known for years ...
Answers 8
I don't think you did it honestly. I'm sorry. I also think that your various male friends have hidden intentions towards you. As you grow older, you will realize that "just friends" do not exist between a man and a woman. If a man is heterosexual and calls you 3 times to see each other - then there is one thing in mind. This does not mean that you should completely cut off contact with your friends, but in this case, for example, it would be appropriate to call your boyfriend and invite him to come with you. If he refuses (because he has no money) you tell him - Ok, I'll go out for a while and by ... I'm going home. You are not a free man once you are engaged to a man. Either you are free or you are bound - there is NO middle position !!! One day, if you get married, is that how you plan to drive it? Is that how your parents treat each other? Does your mother date other men, while your father stays at home? Are they "free people"? and if so - you have a very strange family, sorry !!! Thus, a normal relationship and family cannot exist !!!
I think the problem is that you said you weren't going out, and you did it alone with another man. In reality, nothing like that happened, but in your friend's eyes, you went out with another man late at night after you said you had no money and would be sitting at home. I don't think it's so much about P. as about the fact that you lied to your friend that you would stay at home. I'm a woman, and if my friend called me that number, I'd probably be sick of him just not telling me. Because at the moment I will hardly say to myself that he did not expect it either. I'd rather think he's justifying himself so he doesn't tell me he just didn't get along with me. I don't know, that's my opinion. Talk to your friend and calm him down a bit. And he has some guilt that he reacted so instinctively, but still there must be some logical explanation for his behavior. But you are not innocent either.
Hi, I had exactly the same thing 10 years ago. My friend at the time did the same thing and I felt betrayed because we couldn't find money to go out together, but otherwise they are friends. A similar incident happened to me soon, only I was on the other side. We went out for a beer with a friend. Her husband knew about it (we've known her for more than 15 years, and my husband for 2-3 years), but we got so into conversations that we got married a little later at 11 o'clock in the evening. He said why we didn't come home earlier, etc. I felt very bad that they had to fight because of me. So I realized again that this is not right, even if your husband knows who you are dating, there is always a worm that never stops biting his soul. Good luck and I hope you get better
I agree with number 1, if you were in the place of your friend, he should go out with a girl and not tell you how you will feel, and it is very clear that he wants to fuck you friendship between a man and a woman you will not know!
I agree with number 1, if you were in the place of your friend, he should go out with a girl and not tell you how you will feel, and it is very clear that he wants to fuck you friendship between a man and a woman you will not know!
Look, you misunderstand your freedom. I don't think your boyfriend would be angry if she went out with a boyfriend, but in other circumstances. And also, I support comment 1 on the fact that men almost always have hidden intentions. This friend of yours may not have hoped for something to happen exactly this time you went out, but he hopes in principle, and even if he goes out with many other girls, someone will tie him up in one of the ways. So, for example, you could go out in the company of girls and boys and have this friend of yours be among them, or at least you could have gone out during the day. Or she could have called your boyfriend, and the least you could do was just tell him you were going out with a friend, but you didn't even do that. I think your boyfriend was right, and he's probably not some crazy jealous,
there may be a friendship between a man and a woman, but this friendship can grow into something more - because all the conditions for this are obvious. It is pleasant to spend time together, your relationship is as pure as in love - all that remains is the attraction that can be between a man and a woman. And if you're a beautiful girl, your boyfriend is rightly worried about going out alone with an unattached heterosexual man who, on top of that, enjoys communicating with you - you've known each other for many years, haven't you? Do you think he never thought about having sex with you in the least, and he wouldn't be guilty if he did - because it's in male nature - as an animal instinct. But we are human and we can control our instincts and when one man is in love with another he can't even think - but if this guy is single and you are attractive to him - the work is clear :)
Well, you put him in an awkward situation. It turns out that when N. has no money to take you somewhere, you cut him and go out to have fun with P. And without warning. It's not so much about jealousy as it is about questioning your loyalty to him. And, believe me, a man can be disloyal to his partner even if he doesn't cheat on him. In his place, I would say to myself "Abe, once I have no money and she finds another one in a second ... Well, tomorrow, if we live together and I lose my job, won't she move in with X at the moment?" You are naturally a free man. However, if you respect N., you owe him at least a preliminary explanation so that the situation does not seem ambiguous. You challenge your dramas yourself. If you are honest and open, there will be no drama. Value communication is extremely important, without it there can be no full-fledged connection.