Hello, I am a man of 24 and I decided to write on this site, because there is really no one to discuss such a topic with. I know there are many others like it, but I really need to share what's bothering me. I'm not happy at all and I don't know how to change this thing. I made some wrong choices and everything went in a completely different direction. I don't go to university because I had to support myself, I actually dropped out, but all my acquaintances my age have already graduated. I work something that does not require any active thinking, work that can be done mechanically. I work 12 hours a day. For years my life has been the same, work and then home and that's it. I can't talk about a friend, after a few disappointments I seemed to give up and look. And I look good, women like me, but apparently I never managed to learn exactly how to behave with a woman. I'm too good, even naive. I have a feeling that I am seriously starting to lag behind with my social skills. I tried to change, to reconsider my views and beliefs, and maybe there was a result, but in general almost nothing has changed. I can say that I have no friends. I have people I have known for a long time, but I can already feel how our views are radically different. All they do when they go out is pour alcohol and if you don't, you just don't fit in with them. They are good and intelligent boys, but that has not changed him. I don't have any contact with new people, I don't meet anyone, I don't make new contacts and that weighs terribly on me. The routine literally ruins me. Yes, you'll say you're complaining, but there are people with very serious problems and I do not deny it, but to be so young and not happy, to watch how the people around you do all sorts of things really starts to weigh on you. In general, I've been alone my whole life. I have no real friends or girlfriend. And I've always been a terribly good person since I was little. I don't think the patterns I've adopted from my parents help me much. In recent years, it has been even worse, because I hear only complaints about everything, especially from my father, who must be the head of the family, and unfortunately I never saw from him real determination and fighting spirit. I keep telling myself all my life that I don't want to be like him, he's a great person, but this defeatist thinking can ruin you. I don't know what to do to change my life, so I would like you to give me ideas and advice. Give me some guidelines on what I can change, what I can do to get a girlfriend, because in the bars I found out that it can't happen, is it too late to enroll in university at all, tell me what you think would be useful for me, for to change my life at least a little. Change is really inevitable, otherwise it's no wonder that one day another life will just end. Then at least I will feel at least a little more important because of the attention they will give me.
Answers 5
First, don't refuse to go out with a company that drinks and you don't like it. Well, that's how people relax. This is the cheapest entertainment. Nobody makes you drink, but still, don't forget that alcohol comes with a little mood. I would advise you to change your job to one with which you can continue your education. You are not too old and you are not far behind. I know people who studied at the age of 40 and their education gave them the opportunity for cultural work and a decent environment for communication. Look for people to communicate with according to your interests, so you will find new friends and boyfriends. If you don't, I'm sorry, but you have to be active, the princess won't come ringing your doorbell.
12 hours of work is illegal, you have to work 5 days a week for 8 hours, with 1 hour of rest under the labor code. What is more than that, apart from being illegal, destroys your body and psyche, which you cannot then recover with any money. You mean, like, no ... I know what it is, I've been through this. Think about loving and respecting yourself and not letting yourself be exploited. For my girlfriend, my advice is to stop thinking about it. At the moment you think negatively and this hinders you and prevents you ... stop thinking how alone you are and how you don't have a girlfriend, stop thinking about it at all and turn your attention to something else. There always has to be something that attracts you that you find interesting and like, right? Find this thing for yourself, we here have no way of knowing what it is. There is no way strangers who are not interested, to know something about you that you don't know about yourself ... You are the one who is interested, you look for it. There is a site Self-knowledge. com, to Rositsa Vakuvchieva. Take a look at it, there are good materials there. You can sign up and go to a seminar, you can get lucky there with a friend, not in the bars.
You're right. Change is inevitable, you stand still, your gaze is on the ground and this prevents you from looking at the sun. You can change jobs. It is annoying for years to do something that in no way makes him think or at least be active enough. Look for a job where your bosses won't mind studying part-time. Something that allows a flexible schedule, there are many such proposals in Sofia, for example. Even if you are 35, 40, it doesn't matter, nothing prevents you from continuing your education, as long as you want to. I was 12 years old when my mother got her high school diploma. She had taken a break because of me, she was doing a boring job, she almost never went out, and she wasn't happy with her life. He made this decision with a lot of hesitation, but he really wanted it and he managed. The truth is that many of the part-timers are older people, and not 19/20 year olds. This should not make you ashamed or worried. Be a little bolder, every decision requires sacrifices, I don't think there is an easy way. As for women, I don't know. Self-confidence is something that can be smelled from afar. It is good for a man to be firmly on the ground and to be self-confident without being overconfident or overly complacent. The idea is that you need to relax more and not think about the development of the relationship. You meet a woman, you go out with her, you look at everything as a small step in the moment, without admiring a distant future. You had to grow faster. Yes, it sucks for everyone. You have problems, not feeling happy. This does not mean that others do not have more serious problems, but it does not belittle your own feelings. Take it this way: Everyone has something on their head that is enough care for them, to which he must pay attention. So much. You can go out with your friends, but there's no point in pouring in every night. It's all up to you. Do the things you want to do, but don't go out of your own way to please someone.
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Relax. Just because you're disappointed with 2-3 women doesn't mean the next one will be the same. The higher is not a panacea. Especially in Bulgaria. They are challenged. Get out of the shell. Write and structure your desires. You don't have to study higher, but you can qualify. A language is more valuable than just a college degree in the classroom. He went to some sport, dance ... somewhere where there are people. You need contacts. Things are not bad. It is important how you see the world that you put the lens in the lens. It is also important to read, this is the only way to break the stereotype.