Hello! My question is clear from the title. However, the background is as follows: I have had a friend for almost 2 years, I love him very much, he is a wonderful person, he loves me very much, he takes care of me, we help each other and so on. I lived in a dormitory, I had to change it, and he insisted that I come to him. I did not dare to take such a step, but at one point it happened that even without leaving the apartment I almost lived there. My problem comes from the fact that he lives with his mother.
She is a very nice person, everyone has a personal space there (we do not sit together in the evening to watch the news :)) But it weighs on me that we are not alone, no I feel at home there, even though my friend does his best to be ok. But there are everyday things, 2 women in one place - compliance with the kitchen, toilet ..
Having sex "quieter", hearing stories, and so on. I repeat, the woman is very broad-minded, she doesn't treat me badly, she doesn't have to, but this cohabitation weighs on me. They are divorced from his father, he has been abroad for a long time and if we move out we have to leave the woman alone, the other son has a family, he lives separately. So I don't want to live with his mother, I have no serious reason to want to move out, but I guess if I ask and explain clearly why, my friend, although he doesn't like it, it would be ok to move out. We are independent, we can move out with some deprivation, but how can I make a man with his own home pay rent.
In general, I do not want to leave the woman alone, I do not want to spoil the relationship either between the two of us, or between the two of them as mother and son, but I do not want to live with her.
Answers 15
1
saymyname6900 answered · July 18, 2020
In order to keep the connection and feel comfortable, it is obligatory to move out. You think that if you insist, he will agree. Try it and you will see the result - I'm not convinced. Of course, there will be arguments from a pragmatic point of view, but the truth will be different. What does it mean - we can't leave her alone? !! If you don't, you will most likely regret it bitterly. I say probably because there are exceptions. Judge for yourself if his mother is one of them. Experience shows that good relations between parents and children and daughter-in-law-mother-in-law are guaranteed only when they do not live under one roof.
2
sexycuteguy29 answered · July 18, 2020
- Doctor, my wife does not get an orgasm!
- And how do you do it?
- Well, we lie on the edge to the left and so every time.
"Why don't you try right?"
- How so to the right - facing mom? !!
3
cindyandallison answered · July 18, 2020
There is nothing more normal than wanting to live as a separate young family in a separate home. The man should have no problem with that.
4
mylilwillie answered · July 18, 2020
What confuses you, old woman, if she is not irritable and behaves tolerably, what do you want, to satisfy your selfishness? If you have real feelings for her son, this cohabitation will not be an obstacle. And tomorrow, when the children come, you will have a reliable helper, then you will assess her need. And sex can be done quietly.
5
casycurvaceousdk answered · July 18, 2020
Get out! Now you have no reason, but in time you will. The problems are yet to come! It takes a little time to live with someone to understand what it really is. It is better to move out at the beginning because there is no going back. And this woman is okay now, but she is "getting old and emaciated," as they said.
6
erin_zabat_ answered · July 18, 2020
If you are uncomfortable like that, this is a serious reason. The desire of a young family to be independent is the most natural thing in the world .... It is not a job to constantly consider the presence of another person in the home, even if it is your own mother. I couldn't either. Everyone has to be separate and independent, because every woman wants to arrange and organize her own household without anyone else interfering with her - with one bathroom / toilet and kitchen with someone else is not a job.
Don't worry about her, that she would be alone ... More or less you also burden her with your presence there and she has to comply with you.
Who owns the house and how big is it ....
7
foreverenola answered · July 19, 2020
Difficult situation, although I have no idea how to make a man with his own home pay for accommodation, I think you should have constructive arguments. Such as listening to stories and quiet sex will not work, because wherever you go you will still have to listen to stories anyway, separately and you will have to have quiet sex, because you will most likely have neighbors. As for the common kitchen and toilet, these are not arguments, because living with another family with more members is a problem, waiting in line in the morning, etc., but a single woman can not bother you so much in these rooms. If today you can't stand and wait for a person to use the toilet, then tomorrow, when you have children, how will it be, you will have to wait for them.
Otherwise, you are right that a family should be separate, at least so that they can quarrel in peace and no one interferes with them. So in your situation, you can't call your husband an insulting word in your anger because she's there.
8
desiree_zz_ answered · July 19, 2020
9
aminee8 answered · July 19, 2020
woman has psychological problems: disorders related to mental development, behavior, emotions, interpersonal relationships and others.
I've told a lot of guys, "Always run away from any woman who starts complaining about your mother." I hope most listen to me. This is a massive problem. Many times it all ends like this: The woman manipulates and distances the man from the real family. His mother will be left alone. When one day he needs help, he will be so brainwashed that he will not help the woman at all. Treat yourself with medication, you and everyone who writes and they make you go out. Find someone else to follow you. Run away from women who want to keep you away from their mothers! They make fun of each other and shout "Mom's son, mother's son", but otherwise they don't have rich sons against Dad. Run, boys.
10
_wetgirl answered · July 20, 2020
№8, the mass case is mother's sons, who are breastfed by their mothers at the age of 40. If the author wants to keep her relationship, she must insist on living separately. Again, there is no guarantee, because there are men who are married, live separately, but hear each other every day with mom and discuss all sorts of problems with her and the manipulation is done by mom. So run away girls from mommy sons!
11
colinlovestarry answered · July 20, 2020
Honey, for a woman, your presence in her home is probably not the greatest pleasure either - she is obviously quite tolerant and compromises for the sake of her son.
I don't know why you think you're almost doing her a favor by sitting there. Believe me, a woman of these years can do great on her own and without you two in her home - you will even relieve her if you show that you can do it alone, and not hang on, as at the moment. Otherwise it turns out "Mother, I'm a big man, I already have a girlfriend - here I am taking her to live with you" ... and the woman from nowhere, to help the child takes home the young family .... well, it's immature ...
The eldest son apparently adequately considered that as a family he should move out and not bring his daughter-in-law to his mother. You should be worried that your friend does not find such a step appropriate and obviously finds such a coexistence quite normal and normal ...
12
kasandracummz answered · July 21, 2020
I don't think you're right. If the situation does not aggravate you and it does not bother you, it is like a kind of pet. You will understand how convenient it is after a time when you have children to have a person at home to help and take care of you, as well as to help you in the household. True, you can't relax walking around in your pants, but when it weighs so much, go out somewhere, don't just stay in the apartment. This way you will save money and have someone to look after your home.
13
bbwmollybaby answered · July 21, 2020
Number 8, don't you think it's normal for two people to live alone? Don't they need some peace, anonymity and privacy? Would you live your whole life with your parents if you could move out? I am a man, I would move out of my parents' house (whether it will be my mother, my father), if I have a girlfriend (that even if I don't, I will move out). Now, if the mother in this case really has some physical, mental or other type of problem, I understand why this person does not want to move out. Otherwise, it is most normal for older people to seek independence.
Before you criticize me, the same goes for "daddy's" girls. It's not normal for two people to live with a woman or a man's parents.
14
seemapandey answered · July 21, 2020
Parents and children must live separately. I am in a similar situation, my wife brought her mother and hit her in our apartment. But unlike the author, she is a simple, limited, impudent and impudent drummer. She always pretended to be very ill, she hung at home every winter for at least 7-8 months. It finally faded (from cancer) and settled permanently with us. Our daughter can't stand her because she deprived her of her own room, I can't stand her either, her simplicity irritates me. Simple and powerful, her daughters are very attached to her, she commands them as she pleases.
15
antonella_t answered · July 22, 2020
Young people have to live separately - no one with moms, dads, grandparents. If a man is old enough to have sex and have relationships with women, then if he wants to start a family he will move somewhere to be separate. To arrange things as they want, to furnish, to invite guests. The woman to feel like a housewife, to bring her things, to buy, the given home to bring their taste. How do you imagine inviting friends when the mother is in the next room? To listen to music, to stay up late? Not to mention sex - it's like teenagers at 15-16. It is not going well.