It's hard to admit, but I'm clinging to material things because I suffer from complexes. As a child, I lived in poverty, not because my parents were poor, but because they were frugal people. I always wore my sister's clothes and went to school in the same clothes all year. I wore torn shoes and many children made fun of me, and my parents were too busy to pay attention to me. Later, when I was 13-14 years old, I learned to wash my clothes because my mother didn't do it, I didn't want new clothes because I didn't want to burden my parents and I always laughed at school. I didn't even want to go out in the school hallways because my clothes were faded, stained, and sometimes short. At university I did not make this mistake and I had a lot of clothes, a lot of shoes, a lot of bags and a lot of unnecessary souvenirs. To me, they are like a treasure. But I also had a lot of girlfriends, thanks to the fact that I don't look bad anymore. Now I'm striving for a tidy, clean home, tastefully furnished and looking like the ones in the magazines. I don't have my own home, but I don't stop investing in whatever I like. And I understand that I will never have what I want. But my self-esteem is hurt, and it is with the purchases that I feel good. When I see something in a store, even if I don't buy it, I go home and I don't stop thinking about what application I would find for it, I don't stop thinking about this item for at least a whole week. I even admit that I don't think soberly when determining that an object should be mine. I don't really need that, but I'm closer to that dream. Can it be said that this is a sick ambition or mine is a disease. I can live without these material things, but I don't feel comfortable. And my husband loves without wanting to break my belongings, just because our house is cramped and everything goes to waste. Are my parents to blame and is that why I now want my child to have new clothes all the time, to look neat, clean and to save the problem I had? F28
Answers 4
Fruit of the consumer society.
1. If it is written by a woman at all - there is no connection between a clean home and good things being a complex. Everyone wants good things;) And a clean home speaks of a disciplined, ambitious, aware person, not a complex sloth who does not know where his head is and what he is doing with his life. Have you noticed that most of the poor people are sloppy at home, that they are just as sloppy and lazy in their life plans, which is why they are poor. They dream of expensive good things, but it never motivates them to clean up or think about learning and a good job, they are just lazy and envious. 2. Because a woman, money, complex is mentioned - something reminds me that again a male individual overcomes his complexes with the eternal theme of women-money and how low and complex they are, you see.
Of course, your parents are to blame. Parents are always to blame. What you can do now is try not to buy things that are really completely unnecessary for you. And get rid of the thought that you will never have what you want, because it is defeatist thinking. Think about how to develop, read, study, be interested in various things so that you can start earning more money and one day buy your own home.
You can't just say that. Childhood has a great influence on the formation of personality, but the psyche is too complex to explain it so simply. The fact that as a child you suffered ridicule for your clothes is definitely part of the reason you now make sure your children are tidy and clean. Parents often look after their children either as they were raised or the other way around. Something in their childhood makes them choose a certain approach in order to avoid their children having the same problems they had at their age. It is possible to connect the bad feelings now with those from before. Before, your problem was solvable - new things, new clothes, running a washing machine and cleaning. It must be more complicated now. If you are subconsciously making the connection, it is possible that now that you are feeling bad, you have the desire to buy something to arrange and wash. But there is no need to have a relationship at all, it is possible to just love things and cleanliness. Everyone has a taste and many people relax to follow it and feed with shopping and style. There are also simple actions that relax the tense person. I have a girlfriend who washes dishes whenever she's nervous. This relaxes her, gives her time to think while doing something useful but not stressful. I often steal dust and meta when I'm not in the mood for anything. Seeing a clean home always makes me feel calmer. There are such activities - cleaning, cooking, sports, dog walking or laundry, which are fun and easy. That's why people advise us to set small goals when we lose meaning in our days. Such goals raise the levels of certain hormones in your brain, make them more satisfied and ambitious. Otherwise, there is the concept of oniomania, shopping mania, it is like a kind of psychological addiction. There is also mania. You are not such an extreme case. You can very easily realize and impose your self-discipline to buy only the things you need.