Hello! I think I need help ... I'm going with a boy, a great boy, the most amazing boy I know. We have known each other for 5 years, we have been dating for 1 year and we are terribly close, we love each other and for me he is the most perfect creature that exists, he is my dream boy. With that comes my biggest fear - not to lose it. When I feel this way, when someone is so perfect to me, I put myself under it a lot and I am constantly afraid that someday he will say to himself "She is not good enough" and will leave me. He is happy with me, but I am constantly afraid for how long. I don't know how to overcome it, I am afraid of everything - of every girl who looks at him, of every time he goes out, of every action of his, which suggests to me "He doesn't do that anymore, why did he stop telling me that". some kind of paranoia .. And the strangest thing is, that I don't show it to him in any way, I'm probably the only friend who gives so much freedom to her partner. That's why he loves me, he doesn't feel pressured for anything, I never get angry with him when he cancels a meeting and so on. Naturally, I film and torture myself internally, but in front of him I am the most wonderful boyfriend. I just want to be like that really. Otherwise I will lose him, I will lose everyone this way, I have to overcome this thing, but it is difficult to talk to him .. He is really wonderful, do not think that I idealize him because I am in love. My friends, his parents, (on both sides), all instill in me how amazing and good he is and that he wouldn't hurt a fly .. Sometimes I even film that he is with me because of that ... I constantly think that he can't love me so much that I can't reach him with anything, that I am not good enough for him accordingly it is not possible for him to reconcile with me. I am in some complete horror .. Help: ((
Answers 4
According to you, you sound like a normal girl to me. Your friend seems to be decent, too. Maybe you should talk to him, he'll understand. Otherwise, you will constantly struggle with these thoughts. In my opinion, judging by what is written, he is lucky to have you. It's hard to meet a girl who is so attached to her boyfriend. It is full of all kinds of arrogant women who think they are the top of the universe and everyone should play their whistle. Try to gain some confidence, think about what you like about yourself and what he values about you. This can also help you.
Yes, you will definitely lose it one day if you don't stop this paranoia. The boy does not give you reasons for jealousy and such thoughts, what will you do if a situation ever happens, there is a girl involved, I'm not talking about infidelity, you have to kill him or yourself. Tighten up a little, if you live in such fear you are torturing yourself, and soon he will be tormented. I have never had such fears, what I am destined to do will happen, and if I break up with someone, then we were not meant to be together, yes, it hurts a lot, but nothing should be at any cost.
Do you think that behaving like a good and good friend and not making a problem for him will be a good reason for him to stay with you? don't you know that the best take him the most .. at some point you will be so predictable in his eyes .. and everyday life will be so the same that he will want some wild cat .. which will make him shiver and which will excite the thrill in it ... this magnetism that it has in some couples it sustains the thrill ...
You have a very strange thinking. So, by your logic, you shouldn't tell him anything in spite of it, you shouldn't argue with him, you shouldn't defend your opinion and position in order to be the perfect girl in his eyes. This is very wrong logic in my opinion. You seem to underestimate yourself a lot, and you praise him too much. Change your way of thinking. Be with him, love him, but have your own opinion and don't do anything just because you try to please him. Be a person and do not depersonalize yourself for the sake of anyone.