Hello. I have a problem, as maybe everyone here. My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year. And this year there were constant quarrels and disputes. Mostly for small things. I think I'm to blame for most of them and I can't control myself. My previous relationship ended precisely because I was too angry about small things. I want to fix this problem with myself with all my might, but I do it unconsciously and it's as if I'm under the influence of something when I'm angry. Last night we made the final decision not to be together, although we both love each other a hell of a lot and we both don't want to separate, but we can't stand this tension between us. I have keys to them and he told me to keep them. What do you think this should mean? Please give me advice, I want to be with him and I love him very much,
Answers 4
Look for a boy who is less stubborn than you, who grew up in a civilized family in which there are no scandals and anger. I had the same problem and found a person who both did not provoke me and did not drink like the previous ones, but when I offer something he respects and considers it, and then in most cases he accepts without thinking against it and does nothing. He respects my feelings, my ideas and wants to make me happy. I hope you have noticed the difference between a nervous, stubborn, petty simpleton and Mill, well-mannered, a gentleman with manners and, above all, to be in love with you and to do everything for you. Now give him the key and wish him luck, and you look for MR RIGHT
So he hopes you think about it, so he doesn't want the keys. He hopes you are together again, it is clear as day. Otherwise, you would immediately ask for the keys, not leave them to you. No one would do that if they thought they didn't want to see you anymore. Would you leave your home keys with someone you don't want? Hope is not lost!
And I'm a person who falls into this bad habit on autopilot often, but I clearly remember the feeling one night when, even though it was clear to me on some level before, I was really struck by the realization that I was breaking my relationship and if I continued so, I will just lose the other person, without dramas, without movies the other will just disappear. I'm not saying that I stopped later, but I claim that from that moment on I made a conscious attempt to limit this behavior and it decreased. You can talk to your friend and admit to him that you know it's more your fault, you know you have a problem with it, and you're trying to fix it. Not as an excuse to get together or a temporary patch for a big problem, but a real step. Tell him you're starting to try and you won't stop and ask him to help you with that - at first tell you by doing it so you realize, because both you and I know that sometimes it happens on autopilot and like in a fog, and then you hit your head on the wall "Why did I do it?" and show a little understanding if he sees that you are trying to stop, although it does not happen 100% yet. It's naughty, it sacrifices a lot of ego and puts you in a very "cowardly" position, if I may say so, but that's the only way to save the relationship if you think it's worth it and you're ready for it. Good luck! that it's worth it to you and you're ready for it. Good luck! that it's worth it to you and you're ready for it. Good luck!
You both need it. You take a step, so does he. You compromise, so does he. You give yourself time to try to fix things. Otherwise, if he stumbles or gives up quickly, then he doesn't want you enough. I had a similar problem - we fought often. But I also knew that he didn't change something I didn't like or argued about. He seemingly agrees and argues in the same way and the problem remains. If I was patient, I was patient, but to no avail. He didn't want to accept at all that we had a problem or that I wanted it to change. And the ending was logical, not because I didn't love him, or because he was a bad person, but because he just didn't want us to fix the problems. He preferred to pretend they weren't there, but they were piling up. Author, you need to talk and give yourself time. You know what your problems are and how serious they are, and whether they can be solved. But I think everything happens by mutual desire and time. Inaction and quick refusal are harmful.