Hello everyone and congratulations on the wonderful site :) I want to share what has been bothering me for a few days and get comments and advice from impartial observers like you :) Thanks in advance to those who responded :) Taa ... the story is as follows - from nearly 2 months my friend is behaving unbearably ... The reason that stands out is that I have been changed ... from good and modest I have become vicious and constantly dissatisfied ... I have found flaws in everything and I have never been able to I admit my mistakes. Look .. the easiest thing is to exonerate him and deceive myself how bad I really am ... to always look for mistakes in myself and accept that he is the Great Martyr ... but no .. I'm tired of I make compromises ... and even a whole sacrifice ... True, I'm not a flower to smell, I have my flaws and chips to cut, but his case is clinical. I have never met another character as difficult as his. Before we became intimate, I remember him as very cheerful and lively ... we were constantly joking and I never had enough of the time spent with him. Believe me, I have reasons to trust him and I love him ... A few nights ago we gathered at his friend's house to play cards. The washerman began to lose ... he got angry, repeatedly verbally attacked me and even grabbed my arm and shook me. I am sorry that I did not react adequately at that time. I thought there was no point in falling to his level and humiliating myself to make a remark or anything in front of a third person. 2 hours of treatment followed, which should not be directed at me, the woman he claims wants to give birth to his children ... I don't know if I really provoked him, as he later told me, but at one point he told me in cold blood to take my things and leave his house. So I did, before I slammed the door behind me, I replied that where I was once expelled, I will never come back again ...... We talked about the incident ... I save you everything, you can guess how a man he would do ... in front of his friends is the big male, when we are alone - a puppy with a curled tail and eyes full of tears. Well, I told him everything that weighed on me ... I know, I'm not kidding and I'm not going there again. I don't care that we had an appointment with his whole family, which I really appreciate to have dinner on March 8, I don't care that he is silent and thoughtful, that since then he has lowered his head and snorted from time to time ... no I trust him people, I lost my trust in the only man, whom I trusted. My great-grandmother, her light finger was right when she said that all men are the same, to see blood for shit, I will not feel sorry for him ... I will not believe him. Could I close my eyes after such an incident and am I right to keep my word and not step on them anymore or am I totally crazy ... my or his value system is confused .... By hand I say to myself in my heart that I am afraid to commit more seriously to such a person. It is not normal for me to make these cracks now, but what will he do one day when I marry him and live in his home ! No matter how bright the future offers me, I'm not sure it's worth the price I have to pay. I am not dependent on him in any way now, and I still doubt that I will ever be, so ... should I make my life easier? My great-grandmother, her light finger was right when she said that all men are the same, to see blood for shit, I will not feel sorry for him ... I will not believe him. Could I close my eyes after such an incident and am I right to keep my word and not step on them anymore or am I totally crazy ... my or his value system is confused .... By hand I say to myself in my heart that I am afraid to commit more seriously to such a person. It is not normal for me to make these cracks now, but what will he do one day when I marry him and live in his home ?! No matter how bright the future offers me, I'm not sure it's worth the price I have to pay. I am not dependent on him in any way now, and I still doubt that I will ever be, so ... should I make my life easier? My great-grandmother, her light finger was right when she said that all men are the same, to see blood for shit, I will not feel sorry for him ... I will not believe him. Could I close my eyes after such an incident and am I right to keep my word and not step on them anymore or am I totally crazy ... my or his value system is confused .... With a hand I say to myself in my heart that I am afraid to take myself more seriously with such a person. It is not normal for me to make these cracks now, but what will he do one day when I marry him and live in his home ?! No matter how bright the future offers me, I'm not sure it's worth the price I have to pay. I am not dependent on him in any way now, and I still doubt that I will ever be, so ... should I make my life easier? that all men are the same, to see blood for shit, I won't feel sorry for him ... I won't believe him. Could I close my eyes after such an incident and am I right to keep my word and not step on them anymore or am I totally crazy ... my or his value system is confused .... With a hand I say to myself in my heart that I am afraid to commit more seriously to such a person. It is not normal for me to make these cracks now, but what will he do one day when I marry him and live in his home ?! No matter how bright the future offers me, I'm not sure it's worth the price I have to pay. I am not dependent on him in any way now, and I still doubt that I will ever be, so ... should I make my life easier? that all men are the same, to see blood for shit, I won't feel sorry for him ... I won't believe him. Could I close my eyes after such an incident and am I right to keep my word and not step on them anymore or am I totally crazy ... my or his value system is confused .... With a hand I say to myself in my heart that I am afraid to commit more seriously to such a person. It is not normal for me to make these cracks now, but what will he do one day when I marry him and live in his home ?! No matter how bright the future offers me, I'm not sure it's worth the price I have to pay. I am not dependent on him in any way now, and I still doubt that I will ever be, so ... should I make my life easier? Could I close my eyes after such an incident and am I right to keep my word and not step on them anymore or am I totally crazy ... my or his value system is confused .... By hand I say to myself in my heart that I am afraid to commit more seriously to such a person. It is not normal for me to make these cracks now, but what will he do one day when I marry him and live in his home ?! No matter how bright the future offers me, I'm not sure it's worth the price I have to pay. I am not dependent on him in any way now, and I still doubt that I will ever be, so ... should I make my life easier? Could I close my eyes after such an incident and am I right to keep my word and not step on them anymore or am I totally crazy ... my or his value system is confused .... By hand I say to myself in my heart that I am afraid to commit more seriously to such a person. It is not normal for me to make these cracks now, but what will he do one day when I marry him and live in his home ?! No matter how bright the future offers me, I'm not sure it's worth the price I have to pay. I am not dependent on him in any way now, and I still doubt that I will ever be, so ... should I make my life easier? my or his value system is confused .... With my hand on my heart I say that I am afraid to commit more seriously with such a person. It is not normal for me to make these cracks now, but what will he do one day when I marry him and live in his home ?! No matter how bright the future offers me, I'm not sure it's worth the price I have to pay. I am not dependent on him in any way now, and I still doubt that I will ever be, so ... should I make my life easier? my or his value system is confused .... With my hand on my heart I say that I am afraid to commit more seriously with such a person. It is not normal for me to make these cracks now, but what will he do one day when I marry him and live in his home ?! No matter how bright the future offers me, I'm not sure it's worth the price I have to pay. I am not dependent on him in any way now, and I still doubt that I will ever be, so ... should I make my life easier?
Answers 13
All women are differently unique and equally dumb. And you are no exception. And I don't really care what you do, they will still insult and curse you.
If you write here, then you are willing to give him a chance just as much as you are willing to reject him. In your place, when I am unsure of the right decision, I postpone it until I have solid arguments to take it. Come back with the stipulation that you are giving him a second and final chance in the form of a probationary period. Watch his behavior and in the meantime do not get more seriously involved with him (no marriages and children at this stage). If his 'illness' is of the type the wolf changes his fur ..., very soon he will disappoint you again and you will realize for yourself that it is not worth continuing with him. If he is not a recidivist and has learned a lesson, things should improve between you. Success!
As a person with a similar character, I know what it is. And I often get upset about nonsense and explode. Probably the reason is a little weak nerves :) For me, the difference is that I do not have a girlfriend and most often it happens with my mother. to silence a person. Speaking (at least for me) raises the temperature further and I just get out of my skin. On the other hand, he thought that this was a momentary impulse and when he said it he hardly thought it. Everything is the result of negative emotion. M / 20
Everyone has the right to a second chance, but do not rush to commit permanently, in the slightest such incident raise your pigeons. If he has a character, he will soon die again.
Look, I fully understand you, I'm in such a situation. And I'll tell you what I repeat to myself every day of God: Respect and value yourself in the first place. People like him are easy to overcome, be sure that this will not is a one-time ... it will be repeated and repeated ... until the moment you realize that it has become everyday? Is that what you want? ... The first time my friend hit me (not that he just hit you I want to say something else), I thought it just fell out, but it happened again and then tripled and then ... then I just dropped it. So keep to yourself and stand up for your principles. And never but !!! NEVER !!!! don't believe in men's tears and snorts! Your great-grandmother was right !!!
Yes, I admire you darling. I don't know how old you are, but you are mature. I tell you this from the position of a mature woman. Even if you give him a chance ... "the wolf changes his fur, but not his temper". Very accurate saying! Defend your position and look for the person who will truly respect and appreciate you, as well as you, of course! Success!
Come on now. As long as Abe says, "all men are the same." Whatever, he didn't beat you up, did he? Because there are such cases, and many. All people, men or women, are different, of a different nature. Otherwise on the topic - yes, you're right. And if someone kicked me out, I would certainly not set foot in her house again. But smart heads have never said we never say. As someone wrote, I think you are an elephant to forgive. In general, almost everyone is inclined to forgive. However, you know best if it is worth it - it depends on how long you have lived together, how he behaved before, whether he made you happy. I don't know, it might be worth it, but he has to prove to you that you're the woman for him. If he truly loves you he will do everything for you. Still, the persecution is brutal, and two months is not a short time. But you decide. Good luck with the choice. But
If you love him, return to him, but with the stipulation that you will give him a second and last chance.
Everyone has the right to a second chance !!!
Yes, give him a second chance, by explicitly emphasizing this, so that he doesn't sniff, and as you say, you don't care, stick your nose out, wash your finger, shit blood again so you don't care. And I would paraphrase the words of the first to write here. Women are different and so equally uniquely dumb. M 35
I fully support number 6 !!! If you go back to where you vowed not to set foot again now, he will very easily conclude that you are so crazy about him that you couldn't even keep your word. Believe me, this type of men after a more serious commitment take their partner for "tied in a towel" and it becomes scary. Think hard. Success !
Thanks to the chick. Unlike a few of those comments somewhere before me, I don't think it's stupid at all. You know what you want, don't you? And you know how to achieve it. Just don't let someone mold kill their complexes on you. Show that you are a woman with character, as you have done so far, and just look at him. If he doesn't learn his lesson, beat the jester without any bites. I wish you a lot of success
I am the author, thanks for the comments. I don't think I'm ready to forget the incident. It is true that everyone deserves a second chance, but I feel that I am not a person inclined to swallow the insult and most importantly I am not ready to be trampled in the future. With all my heart I wish you all the best :)