Hello. For about a year now I have been working in a very nice place - with good colleagues, a normal salary, good bosses, a calm atmosphere. Yes, but not everything is so perfect. Fortunately or not, I was put in a room with a woman - my colleague. The other colleagues (they are quite tactful, as well as the whole team) hinted to me at the beginning that it is special, closed, etc. There was no problem for me, I do not like someone to constantly chatter to me, and I am not one of the most -speaking. Yes, but it turned out to be VERY special. The problems with her started. I am generally silent and do not conflict, but she loves to do so. She constantly "gates" me in front of the bosses, with small things - of the sort that I hadn't told her that I had done some work, that I had taken notes all the time, some such stupid things. But with such a desire to discredit me. The bosses are cool, I guess they know she's, but everyone's shaking over her - probably because she's a TEMP, I know. He rarely speaks, but when he says something, he hits right in the tenth, he just tramples me mentally and emotionally. Constantly, if I've made a mistake, she laughs at me - she says things like "Hah, was how can you write this, was", etc. In the rare cases where we communicate, she discusses with colleagues - how they did nothing , they were idiots, drummers, only she worked for the whole team. She is critical of everything and everyone. The dumbest thing is that he doesn't show me anything. If I ask her something - I am told: "You can't do this" and so far. He takes some things and does them for me because "you can't do it." Always, every job I've done and checked by bosses, she questions and keeps track of who made me do this ... She takes it and goes to say that I was wrong. There are some such things. I have the feeling that she is afraid that I will eat her bread. If I do a lot of work (I like to finish everything at the moment and not leave for another day) and dissatisfaction begins ... why am I in a hurry, I did not take my eyes off the computer, they would give me more work now ... Abe horror . I want to explain to her that this job is only temporary, I do not intend to stay there, but now that I am with a small child it is comfortable for me. Fortunately, the other colleagues compensate - they call me and explain different things to me, they have never directly said anything bad about her, but they probably put themselves in my place. I take her every word. I do not want to leave in the next 1-2 years, and because of her. I'm not in conflict, that's why I'm always silent, but this person just strains me. Because there is a disease, I do not want to get into conflicts, because I just comply. I tried something - as we talk well, so the next moment he goes and says something ironic about me in front of the bosses. Do it while I'm in the room. Which is insulting. After receiving a reprimand from the bosses with something like: "Really, A **", she stays until the end of the day with a huge smile. If you can give me some advice on how to make it "go in one ear and go out the other", how not to be impressed by her words and to be able to ignore all this negativity she spits out against everyone in the company . Thanks in advance. I tried everything - as we talk well, so the next moment he goes and says something ironic about me in front of the bosses. Do it while I'm in the room. Which is insulting. After receiving a reprimand from the bosses with something like: "Really, A **", she stays until the end of the day with a huge smile. If you can give me some advice on how to make it "go in one ear and go out the other", how not to be impressed by her words and to be able to ignore all this negativity she spits against everyone in the company . Thanks in advance. I tried everything - as we talk well, so the next moment he goes and says something ironic about me in front of the bosses. Do it while I'm in the room. Which is insulting. After receiving a reprimand from the bosses with something like: "Really, A **", she stays until the end of the day with a huge smile. If you can give me some advice on how to make it "go in one ear and go out the other", how not to be impressed by her words and to be able to ignore all this negativity she spits out against everyone in the company . Thanks in advance. she stays until the end of the day with a huge smile. If you can give me some advice on how to make it "go in one ear and go out the other", how not to be impressed by her words and to be able to ignore all this negativity she spits out against everyone in the company . Thanks in advance. she stays until the end of the day with a huge smile. If you can give me some advice on how to make it "go in one ear and go out the other", how not to be impressed by her words and to be able to ignore all this negativity she spits out against everyone in the company . Thanks in advance.
Answers 8
Accept her as she is. If someone accuses you of being a Martian, you will laugh at him, you will not go on explaining that you have nothing to do with Fox Mulder. Use positive messages during conversations. You say that it is special, all people are different from other people, ie special compared to some. When we focus on the problems, they get bigger. You have to focus on her positive qualities (there are no people without positive qualities), compliment her (not remade). She, like everyone else, senses human opinion, she is trampled by negative opinion, so she kills complexes by drowning others. = Tell her that she is important and valuable to you. But don't pretend if you bask her, she'll feel it right away = Encourage her good sides. Sometimes he compliments her on clothes, make-up and so on. = If she insults you, tell her you're not offended because you know
Well, you can't ignore it. Her behavior is aggressive and aims to hurt you. If you hide your feelings in yourself and suppress your irritation, you can reach TELK. Tell her about it directly, to look after her work and not to deal with you, tell her that you don't like her attitude. Tell the bosses too.
I have a colleague like that who is so tense that she has nowhere to go. It is everywhere, loves to make noise around it, to be the center of the universe. She's afraid I'll eat her bread. And he keeps trying to fuck me quietly, with a hypocritical smile. And she is not very competent in the field in which we work. Somehow she got under the boss's skin and that's how she drives. She memorized 5 sentences and recited them everywhere to sound intelligent. I do not know what to tell you. I'm choking on that brazen tensioner. When the boss is behind her, what can I do? Apart from responding to her with a sense of humor and the more she tries to melt you, the more you make her laugh ... This is how you devalue her efforts. address in front of the bosses. Ignore and that's it!
As long as it shrinks, and order it properly, directly and say what you think, what if there is a telk, and you are a man, defend yourself and stain it in front of the bosses
So first your bosses are ... fight! Under no circumstances should they tolerate gossip behind a colleague's back. Had she been thrown out from the beginning to walk and read what work ethic meant. Your colleague is a victim of bad manners, that's an explanation, but it's no excuse to continue to live unconsciously and be such a disgusting bastard. What can you do? Well, I do not agree with number 1, you can not be such a masochist and hypocrite! Don't let her drain your energy when you think about it or deal with it - it won't change, it's so smart. Tell yourself that she can do so much, rejoice that you are not in her place, that you were lucky to become a good and polite person, let her vicious comments pass your ears and smile only slightly in response, let her see that there is no how to affect you. Your reaction should be neutral, as if it doesn't apply to you. And one more thing - never, for nothing, do not explain to anyone and do not complain, good luck!
Let her bastard for you. At the same time, try to steal her craft - that is, to learn to do things better than her. In front of her you pretend to be stupid to make her reveal her subtleties, in front of the bosses you show how much you can and you try to make her incompetent. The more contact you have, the easier it will be for you.
If she had hinted at the type of work, it wouldn't have been bad. Now it sounds like something like grips in Excel. One can, the other can't.
And I work with one of them - "bitch" / sorry for the word / in the full sense of the word! On top of that, the difference in our ages is a lot, she is almost my mother - think / you know about the respect for the elderly /! She still knows everything, she can do everything and constantly melts our colleagues in front of the boss / I'm sure she melts me too when I'm away /! She has to retire in half a year / we work in a private company /, but they also promised from the higher floors that they would let her work! Because of her intrigues and talk about the workers, about ten people left and were expelled for a period of 5-6 years! I'm tired of pretending to be polite, polite, etc., and at the same time I want to strangle her! So ... think! If you are young, look for another job and leave!