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Despicable Behavior

By sweet_jina July 13, 2020 8 answers Last updated July 13, 2020

Hello. I want to share with you just a small episode of the whole range of harassment applied to me by my husband, who has a truly narcissistic personality disorder. When we go out together, he constantly flirts in front of my eyes with others, he does it not verbally, but with body language, mostly with a look. It does it regularly when we're having coffee, when we're just out for a walk, it makes it so that I can see and feel neglected, I can feel down below the other women, I can feel a little bit of a woman, I can feel unimportant, underestimated, humiliated, disliked, I always feel insecure with him, I always have to feel threatened by other women, he does it on purpose.

 

He is not handsome, a slightly handsome ordinary man, even slightly bald. I am a well-groomed woman with a good physique and I dress well, I take great care of my appearance because in the beginning I was caught up in nonsense and I was very jealous, so the complexes push for progress, now I am a doll next to him. He doesn't stop harassing me in that nasty way. I have been divorced for a long time, we have a son of 16, I feel sorry for the child. And when I tell him, "It's a shame you don't respect me, look what a great son we already have, how stupid and mean your behavior is." "He starts to justify that I'm making it up.

 

I ask him, 'Are you an enemy or a lover?' From what I read about narcissists, I know that this is exactly what they do with the victims - they mentally confuse them and the woman does not know what it is. , but he spins mean tricks on me regularly with confusing phrases and behavior, making me feel nasty, humiliated, and insecure when we are together. I ask for advice and opinion from experienced, competent, and well-meaning people. I can't go out together, I've been hanging out with him for 17 years and we're used to each other, unfortunately, but I can't get used to the mean way he regularly humiliates me, he's very happy when he humiliates and upsets me in front of other ladies.

Answers 8

1
xabier4you answered · July 13, 2020
It is a complex. I would never be with a person who humiliates me. But you're used to it. For 17 years now, you have nothing to complain about. I missed, his behavior shows that he does not respect you at all, but so what?
2
johnyzam answered · July 13, 2020
Beat him in his game. Start making fun of him. When someone looks at you, start giggling and joking with them. Pretend you're wiping his league and tell him if he wasn't funny, it would be sad. Does anyone tie him up? Hardly. Only you scratch his ego by irritating him. From now on, show indifference and laugh at this behavior. They feed on the power of your emotions. Stop his dose. If you demonstrate happiness regardless of his actions, you will drive him crazy. But, it can get horrible, punish you with a mistress. There is no good scenario with these people. Your child is big, you are a beautiful woman, you deserve more.
3
bbcandlatinaaa answered · July 13, 2020
What prevents you from flirting in front of his eyes too?
4
rare_couple13 answered · July 13, 2020
"How to escape from this mental harassment," - visited a psychiatrist, the problem is in your head, not in your husband. One evaluates oneself, you underestimate yourself, you are complexed, probably by the approaching critical.
5
shy_dck answered · July 14, 2020
N 6 A man should respect his wife, not deliberately make her jealous. If he is a well-mannered man, he will not show disrespect to me, we have a big son. I'm 39 years old, isn't it early to be critical or approaching already, I look 33 somewhere I'm a very supportive woman. I will visit a psychologist I need you right.
6
chubinsea answered · July 14, 2020
N 3 You are absolutely right with people like him, there are no fixes and we have been to a family therapist many times, he deliberately demonstrates nasty behavior to harass and anger me. You are very right that I deserve something better, I am a good person, I do not deserve such meanness, he deliberately humiliates me because I am a quality person, he wants to be a winner and crush my self-esteem and unfortunately he succeeded, I am very good-natured and naive for this mean person and his games.
7
muupp69 answered · July 14, 2020
He does it because his numbers are still tied to him. That's how he feels significant ... Honestly, in my opinion, if you stop paying attention to him, he will stop. But alas, people have written above that the problem is in you too ... You are obviously painfully jealous, and it is not worth it to be a prince. Everyone must have dignity.
8
hotmanlatino1 answered · July 15, 2020
N 9 Thanks for the comment. For years I didn't pay any attention to him, I was with him only because the little one was looking for Daddy and asking about him. When I was completely pretending not to be jealous, he started cheating, got to the point of extreme meanness, such as going home with lipstick and smelling awfully of someone else's perfume, so for years we were roommates who looked after the child together and sometimes helped each other. We lived without caring about each other just because the child was both at home. And I had friends and he had his lovers there, I knew about his, he didn't know about mine, I played the victim so that he wouldn't harass me. I didn't find a suitable one, otherwise I would have left him and divorced. So, at the age of 39, something was boiling over me, I started wanting love, understanding, warmth, respect, before I didn't care how exactly he treated me. Apparently I've needed other things for years. He stopped cheating, apologized for his infidelities, and said he wanted us to be faithful. But it constantly irritates me by making me jealous, he is not a handsome bald man, nice to say with a not nice face, I am said to be a beautiful woman and I adorn him, I am very jealous, I do not give up and I keep myself scary. I need a psychologist, it is clear, my mother always suggested to me as a child that men are great and superior to women and the woman herself was vulnerable and weak and definitely needed a man. So I have to learn self-esteem and my lover played and saddened me, I clearly can not keep my emotional world. Thanks again.
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