Hello readers! I am asking for suggestions of options for getting out of the situation I am in. 8 years together, 2 of which we are married and have a almost 7 year old son. At the very beginning of our relationship, I told him that I did not want a serious relationship, because we had both just ended a long relationship and I was personally too exhausted from mine and wanted freedom and to rest a little from the shackles ... However, he fell madly in love with me and began to follow me. Now I understand on what scale! Rovel has been on my Skype, phone, Facebook since the 1st month ... The surveillance has always been hidden and when a question is raised, it is well explained why it was done. We always had quarrels, but in general the first 6 months (while I was pregnant) things were calm (supposedly) and it seemed to calm down. It doesn't help me at all, nor does his parents! The money is still not enough, all the loans, I'm stuck, and he doesn't even help me with that. He got to the point where he decided to go abroad to work (now he says I forced him to do so ...) and I took another loan to leave ... 4 months of incredible harassment followed ... No time got along and when I told him I wanted to break up UNCLEAN! He started threatening me that he would take my child, the car, not help me with money at all and I would sink. I overthrew all this and a suicide threat followed ... In the meantime, out of jealousy, he picked me up at 2 o'clock in the middle of the night to go to us with my laptop (then I lived with ours, and he lived in our home) and told me that if I didn't do will come in the rain with the child and make a scandal. I went ... Then there was a scandal in which he took my phone and called someone to ask "Who are you?", He came and sat at my desk for 2 hours at my desk, we fought in front of my work for the phone ... I shouted, he said that he would cut off my head ... And now, after all, he behaves as if nothing had happened! I want a divorce! I want to keep a normal relationship, for the sake of the child! It is not to blame for our mistakes and we should not pay for them! I gave him 1 month to show that he had changed. WELL, IT'S NOT !!! What should I do? It is not to blame for our mistakes and we should not pay for them! I gave him 1 month to show that he had changed. WELL, IT'S NOT !!! What should I do? It is not to blame for our mistakes and we should not pay for them! I gave him 1 month to show that he had changed. WELL, IT'S NOT !!! What should I do?
Answers 12
Something is wrong with me: 1. You told him at the beginning that you are not able to maintain a serious relationship, but below you write that you have a marriage and a child. Well, all this shows a serious relationship 2. How did you decide to have a child with someone you don't love? The only advice I can give you is divorce and only divorce!
You let him kill himself. I'm kidding, but it's totally worth it. Don't let it bother you. Apply, but make sure it doesn't startle you somewhere. but I don't know exactly how to look at it.
Leave him! It won't work!
People don't change like that. You part and end the harassment and anger. Alone and happy is much better than such a situation. Everyone has come to this world to make their parents happy and to be happy. That is the meaning of everything. Not to live in a nightmare or a chain!
Let me tell you, darling, this story sounds like a novel written by an alien. Do you marry on the condition that you do not have a serious relationship? And in the context of this "frivolous relationship" you give birth to a child ... Which child somehow finds himself in his father's house while you live in your house ... However, in the meantime you have sunk into credit in the name of "frivolous relationships". The picture looks quite confusing. My advice to you is to sort out the situation in your head. Pay attention to yourself and ask yourself what you really want. That this relationship will not be, it is clear and I think that divorce is the right decision. But ... are you capable of a truly fulfilling relationship with another person? Do you need them? How do you imagine a future marriage? Maybe you will feel best alone? Surveillance and scandals are really terrible, but in the relationship between a man and a woman there is also a sharing - of resources, of trust, of love. I saw nowhere between the lines any emotion but bitterness and intolerance. Did you love this man? Why did you marry him? What's the problem with peeking into your computer? My husband and I use a laptop, we know our e-mail passwords, and if one of us is in the bathroom and his phone rings, the other picks it up because it may be important. Do you have anything to hide? In large letters you warn against malicious comments. And why do you expect malicious comments? Maybe you yourself feel that something is wrong and you are afraid that someone else will not confirm it. I send you all my positive energy in my desire to help you, but, dear author, there are too many questions to answer. And as for "suicide" "Don't worry, he's blackmailing you." At most to get drunk with grief, believe me.
Talk to a lawyer immediately, if necessary, and the police. And don't wait for him to change. If it hasn't happened before, it never will.
Leave this man, fight for your son. The child is seven years old and if this continues, he may be stressed by the situation - it is best to file for divorce and if he threatens you, file a complaint. Your child should not suffer. I am a man, I have no children, but I know what it is like for a child to go through all this - Fight Success
Dear child, how will he survive the divorce? You have to break up with this man and if he wants to see the child you have to restrict him from you so that he does not approach you, Be strong and fight for your child. Take him to yours until everything is over and you will be a free woman again
Sometimes I wonder how some people here pretend to be very INTELLIGENT and sensible when commenting on and analyzing written stories as a sequence of situations. Next to number 5 is the previous sentence. What did you not understand in history, madam? Married for 2 years, with a child of 7, knowing each other and since 8 years. The author had a non-committal relationship with your husband, then a baby boom. He doesn't remove it, because if you don't know, there are women with scruples and he stays with the father of his child. They get married, which is a total mistake, but it is not irreparable. To the author: Hire a lawyer and consider your actions. Try to negotiate a quick divorce by mutual consent, if your husband does not agree, start preparing for a lawsuit and finding fault with one of you. These are the works of the circus arena. Try the domestic violence law. This will be a plus for your peace of mind and a natural proof in a future divorce case, how ruthless and dangerous it is for you and the child. And be smarter in choosing men.
It is best to find a good lawyer, consult with him and immediately file for divorce if necessary secretly record his threats and use them as evidence in court! He will not commit suicide, it is just a way to manipulate you to feel sorry for him and stay with him. As for the child in 90% of cases remains with the mother.
So what kind of man is this? You bail and take out loans, and what does he do during that time? I think it only poisons your life ... What laptops and scandals in the middle of the night? What 5 leva? You immediately go to the police and file a complaint of harassment and ask for a restraining order. If he's going to kill himself - what are you to blame for him being a drone and a loser? Through the child he has nicely stuck the parasitic sucker in you, and now if he sucks ... God, what kind of people are there! But the one who eats the pie is not crazy ...
Oh, darling, don't attach yourself to this one's performances at all. The sooner you file for divorce, the better. This is NOT a normal relationship and I don't see the point in torturing you, let alone what you are doing to your child. And the threats that he will take your child, ruin you, etc. are just tales of a desperate man. He sees that he is losing you and goes crazy. Don't worry, we don't live in the 18th century or in Pakistan to ruin you so easily and take your child. There is a court and in 90% of cases the child stays with the mother, especially if she has a job and a home. So talk to a lawyer and don't worry, you have rights and he can't play you and threaten you. Act boldly, you will not regret it! Yes, as a single mother it will be very difficult for you, but peace is priceless!