Hello everyone, I don't know how to start, but I've been divorced for 2 years and I'm having a real nightmare. I am 37 years old, the former too, with two children, girls aged 8 and 5. We divorced because she had a love affair with a married man, according to her for 1 year, but I think more. In infidelity, it is clear that one partner no longer loves the other and any explanations are unnecessary, just everyone takes their own path. That's what I did. I divorced quietly and meekly. She has her own big apartment, partitions and other nonsense was not. The children stayed with her, and I went to my apartment, which is smaller. I also pay BGN 440 child support (220 per child) and I said that he can spend them on whatever he wants. The children are with me every weekend. I take care of everything about them - pocket money, children's fee, food, clothing, school supplies, etc. In this regard, I am concrete and immediately respond to the needs of children. However, this is not enough for her. She wants more. She wants me to pay for her electricity, heating, water in the apartment, petrol and car repairs, internet, telephone and other unforeseen expenses, all in the name of the children. It got to the point where she asked me for a sum of money for her senders, because if she hadn't given it to her, she wouldn't have had eyes to ask them for help for the children. I refused, I said that I am not so stupid and I understand that her salary is small and not enough, but if she wants more money to change jobs or improve their skills. She raged. He sent a signal to the National Revenue Agency and they audited my company. Nothing, everything is fine. He filed a lawsuit to increase alimony and nothing lost there. Then he started not letting me see the children. They are very attached to me and have a hard time with it. Then I had to pay her a certain amount of money to take my children. One weekend I had an appointment and I couldn't take them. She made me a rag - I was bad and irresponsible and other nonsense. I feel doomed. Having an affair with another woman is absurd in this situation. The lawyer says we can sue her, that she doesn't let me see the children, but I don't want to traumatize them. I also ask myself the question - why the lover does not help her, it does not matter that he is married and does not divorce. She continues to have a relationship with him, obviously in love. Blackmailing me for money to see my children is just very ugly. I'm not feeling well. If you give me advice I will be grateful. She made me a rag - I was bad and irresponsible and other nonsense. I feel doomed. Having an affair with another woman is absurd in this situation. The lawyer says we can sue her, that she doesn't let me see the children, but I don't want to traumatize them. I also ask myself the question - why the lover does not help her, it does not matter that he is married and does not divorce. She continues to have a relationship with him, obviously in love. Blackmailing me for money to see my children is just very ugly. I'm not feeling well. If you give me advice I will be grateful. She made me a rag - I was bad and irresponsible and other nonsense. I feel doomed. Having an affair with another woman is absurd in this situation. The lawyer says we can sue her, that she doesn't let me see the children, but I don't want to traumatize them. I also ask myself the question - why the lover does not help her, it does not matter that he is married and does not divorce. She continues to have a relationship with him, obviously in love. Blackmailing me for money to see my children is just very ugly. I'm not feeling well. If you give me advice I will be grateful. She continues to have a relationship with him, obviously in love. Blackmailing me for money to see my children is just very ugly. I'm not feeling well. If you give me advice I will be grateful. She continues to have a relationship with him, obviously in love. Blackmailing me for money to see my children is just very ugly. I'm not feeling well. If you give me advice I will be grateful.
Answers 15
You have taken a simple, selfish and terribly ugly woman. Using children against you is disgusting. So she doesn't think a gram about them. I am sorry that you came across such a woman, because it is obvious that you are a responsible and good person. And if you had a mistress, I would justify you. You do not have to cover household expenses. But this blackmailer, as you can see, is not merciful, even to your children. A very complicated situation. You could hardly do anything without the children suffering. I sincerely regret you.
Unfortunately, the only way to have no problems is to file a lawsuit. The court has ruled on what is required of you - alimony has been awarded. Decided when you can see the children, etc. In short, your wife has no reason to cause you misery once you fulfill your duties. If this continues, try to talk to each other in a human way, to understand each other without quarrels. However, there is a human side. I have no idea what salary he receives. You understand that it is difficult to maintain a whole house with one salary / unless a person receives 2000 per month /.
In plain text and without apology, I declare to you that you are a stupid and naive man, and women do not like such naive people. Of course, she will continue to blackmail you and force you to give her money, because she knows you very well and knows how to pluck you. I won't be surprised if the money you give her for the children is not shared with the fucker, because that's the only way she can keep it. This is not their love on his part, but a benefit, and if it is not repaid, it will be changed. Here I will apologize in advance for what was written, but it is not bad to do a DNA test with children to find out if you can support your own children, because such women, even from such naive people, avoid giving birth.
You will not injure children if you file a lawsuit. It is with this inaction of yours that you will traumatize them, because it will be difficult and rare for them to see you. Do not allow her to twist your arms, but let you know a direct case and let her know which day, at what time and if the fines are not small (personally my ex burned her with BGN 1,000, where she hid my son) Your children, especially the eldest daughter, already understand everything and must see that you are fighting for them, and not allowing arbitrariness. And very, very careful not to relax with the money, because he will eat and drink it with his lover. Good luck and fight for your children, the former is already EX !!!
You give more than enough, your wife is just a user and a lover and has run away. You don't owe her anything. My advice is to take the children with you, by fighting if you can prove that she wanted that money, and that you are paying enough without it.
So how are you going to pay her bills? !? What you do for children is enough. It is normal for him to start manipulating you with children. I was in the same situation a few years ago. Take care of the children, love them ... they are yours, but with her there!
I think that the only thing you should do the next time she asks you for money outside of maintenance is to offer her, after she encounters so many difficulties and finances are wrong, to give her your children to look after them and support them completely and she should be the one who takes them for the weekend. If he really wants the best for the children and given the circumstances surrounding the divorce, he should agree, especially if he is not able to deal with basic necessities. A woman also 37 years old.
Blackmail her that if she continues like this, you will tell her lover's wife. Otherwise, my mother is the same, but the difference is that my father cheated on her. And now, even at home, he screams like crazy what a drummer he is and rarely lets me go to him. And he pays her.
Well, tell everything to her lover's wife. Let's see if he dumps his wife? Most likely he will want to end the relationship with your ex, then let's see what song yours will sing.
Oh! another uncle's uncle, invariably with the same plot - an ideal father and husband, an unfaithful, mean and greedy wife, and a selfish lover! Uncle, we are tired of reading, and you just don't get tired of writing such gods, I just don't know! Hasn't it already become clear to you that you are recognizable in each of your stories! Even the comments you write on behalf of others betray you immediately! You are just compromising the good idea of the site to share suffering people with real problems, and not boring retirees with a lot of free time!
He is a good friend of mine in the same situation. His ex went so far as to sue him for assault and harassment, and issued a restraining order because he stopped paying her expenses, only child support. He saw himself in a miracle, sitting in jail. After catching one of the best lawyers in town, he managed to recover but still can't see the children. For now, the laws are not in your favor, and the former will manipulate you as he pleases.
My advice is to talk to a lawyer about how to act. As far as I know, at least since my divorce, if the mother does not give the children at the time specified in the agreement, she is criminally liable in court. That is, she has no right to restrict your contacts, because I do not know what she has in mind. And also the children must be ready to take home from the appointed days, regardless of whether you come or not. This was explained to me by my lawyer. The lover is not crazy enough to take on someone else's family. Because it's no longer just about fun, it's about responsibilities he obviously doesn't want to take on. He won't divorce at all unless his wife finds out.
Failure to comply with a court decision is a crime, there is at least one convicted ex-wife.
You want to have children, but someone else to take care of them and the financial burden for them, right?
H.14. Your question is pointless. Apparently you haven't read what was written on the topic. There the children are watching us from the father, the problem is different, but you can't understand it clearly ..