Hello readers, I would be very grateful if any of you give me advice. I am a 20-year-old girl, 1 year ago I met my friend via Facebook. We started writing to each other often, but I suddenly stopped writing to him because I wasn't sure if he was ready for a serious relationship. But after 1 month he started writing to me again and I decided to give him a chance. We started a relationship, he moved to my apartment (he is from another city) and everything was ok. But suddenly he changed after the 7th month he became cold, he has no friends to go out with and he just stands in front of the computer. I decided to take the initiative to ask him now what his plans were, if he wanted us to move to his city so that he would be closer to his relatives and friends. However, he just repeats to me there is time we will invent it ... Our relationship became a little colder ... I was suffocating him, I have always annoyed him with my stupid questions about our future. He keeps threatening me to grab my luggage and leave. And I love him very much, I do my best for our relationship. I know that he loves me too, but this stubbornness of his just kills me, I don't know what to do, I took measures not to bother him, I don't bother him anymore with conversations like the future. But my heart aches with the way he treats me. We rarely have sex, maybe 1-2 times a month. I understand that he feels bad about being in another city and that he is not close to friends and family, but I told him that I would go to the end of the world for him, as long as he felt good. Please advice, I am very confused and do not know what to do. I know that he loves me too, but this stubbornness of his just kills me, I don't know what to do, I took measures not to bother him, I don't bother him anymore with conversations like the future.
But my heart aches with the way he treats me. We rarely have sex, maybe 1-2 times a month. I understand that he feels bad about being in another city and that he is not close to friends and family, but I told him that I would go to the end of the world for him, as long as he felt good. Please advice, I am very confused and do not know what to do. I know that he loves me too, but this stubbornness of his just kills me, I don't know what to do, I took measures not to bother him, I don't bother him anymore with conversations like the future. But my heart aches with the way he treats me. We rarely have sex, maybe 1-2 times a month. I understand that he feels bad about being in another city and that he is not close to friends and family, but I told him that I would go to the end of the world for him, as long as he felt good. Please advice, I am very confused and do not know what to do. that he was in another city and that he was not close to friends and family, but I told him that I would go to the end of the world for him, as long as he felt well. Please advice, I am very confused and do not know what to do. that he was in another city and that he was not close to friends and family, but I told him that I would go to the end of the world for him, as long as he felt well. Please advice, I am very confused and do not know what to do.
Answers 6
In my opinion, you are already fed up and your relationship has no future. The reason is not where he lives, many people are thousands of miles from home and their parents and that does not stop them from loving. Look at the truth and accept it. What does "I know he loves me" mean? What do you judge? By the fact that he doesn't talk to you, doesn't communicate with you, but with the computer, doesn't think about any common future, doesn't want you for sex? At this age, a man in love would tear you apart from sex, he as a 50-year-old, once a month, as if not without anything. It's always like that, one loves more and longer what to do. He will pack his bags and leave, no matter how you behave. You better tell me the end, because the relationship is actually over. It will hurt, but you will experience it and continue. This is how we grow and learn in life. And remember - don't be in a hurry to do your best just because you like someone on Facebook.
There are two theories that are the most likely explanations for his behavior. 1. He has always been that way. He always spent most of his free time on the computer and hardly went out, and if he did, it was for a short time. You just didn't know because of the distance. The initial euphoria with moving and your relationship made him more friendly and then he had the desire to give you more time and attention because you were a new interesting person in his life. Yes, but the initial euphoria passes in a few months, and then we see who is really standing in front of us. In such a situation you can talk to him, if he wants, he will change his daily life a little, if not, you should be aware that it will always be so. 2. He has fallen into a hole and feels pressured by everything. It often happens when moving. One has this nasty feeling, that he cannot move backwards, but he cannot move forward. He is stuck. In such a situation, he will get angry talking about the future, because his present is also black. In such a situation he will need to cheer him up - to show him interesting places in the city, to introduce him to people, to offer him to start new ventures together, where to find friends, to give him an impetus to create his own life in your city.
From the author: until number 2 I talked to him and he explained to me that I had pressed and suffocated him, I had filmed in vain and given him time, but that does not mean that he does not love me. He also said, "Passion brings us together, after passion is love, and then there is love and respect," which seems pretty dumb to me because I feel all together, love, passion and respect. Maybe I'm really pushing him with my questions. I realized my mistake, I hope it's not too late. Because I'm quite an emotional person when I talk to someone about my feelings and tears flow by themselves and it's as if a stone gets stuck in my throat, which I learned from him that he doesn't like at all, he even hates when someone roars and hits him. of feelings. To number 2 of the options he gave me best fits the second. But he does not understand that for the first time I live with a man separated from his family, alone. I'm not used to it yet and I need time, because I'm making plans for our future and I'm just waiting for it to be decided, my mother rightly said "Don't live for others, because one day everyone will leave and you will be left alone again." so far I have not encountered such a character as his. It will be difficult for me, but I will try to fight for our relationship and change. I don't think it's over. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for the advice.
It seems to me that you show too much understanding. You don't write to go to work - can you stand it? If he doesn't have a job, start looking. And contacts will create, and will stop zombies in front of the computer.
You two don't fit at all! In the way you express yourself, I realize that you are a very patient person. However, this will play a very bad joke on you, this is a boy, and he doesn't care about you at all, it's obvious. Tell him to go to mom and that's it. Something is not happy, and you will NOT be happy. Remove it until it has made you a CHILD, then I will ask you what to be confused. This one has a problem that he doesn't share with you, he won't change, you will change, pack his bags and go to his mother, or wherever he wants. This one is NOT ready for ANYTHING, you are talking about the future, change it until it makes you a child .. The good angel
It's simple, you press him and question him. Relax, let the current flow, don't think so much, let things happen. Try not to ruin things by over-exerting yourself and making plans without a bartender.