Hello! I really like the site and I see that there are a lot of accurate people who give great advice and support. Well, my problem ... it's not exactly a problem, but I'm definitely a little worried. I am a 20-year-old girl, my boyfriend is 22 and we have been together for three years. We had difficulties in the beginning with the characters, but gradually everything smoothed out. We have been living together for a year and a half and we get along wonderfully. He used to be one of the "bad guys": D but since he's been with me he's calmed down a lot and at his request, I didn't make him do anything, but that's another topic. I've been filming for a family lately. Yes, it is early and we have a lot of plans for our future. We want to go abroad, to work, to travel, etc. I wouldn't give birth in the next five or six years ... and yet, from time to time such thoughts come to me and I imagine how happy I can be if I give birth to a child one day! And obviously everything has its pros and cons. Many times he said "when we have a child it will be what you are, it will be called how you are" ... but soon he nailed me with a statement that strongly contradicts the above. I mentioned something about children and he told me that he definitely didn't want to have children, because it had to be a role model for someone ... and I was shocked. Well, of course you have to, genius ... He obviously doesn't think he's good enough to be a father? !! I was shocked and hurt a lot. I started thinking about a statement in which I believe that men want to have children, but not from everyone! In the evening when we fall asleep I imagine telling him that I am pregnant and we are very happy, and now I'm afraid to think about it so that he doesn't rejoice ... Yes, we are young at the moment and it is too early for us to be children and we are not ready, but one day I will ask ... Do you really think do you think so I can't get into his head and find out for myself, but still. He also told me that he would be calmer if he was a boy, that he was very angry with the girls. What is this nonsense? !! : D I couldn't even believe he was saying such a thing. Unfortunately, I can't control nature and give it to a male, but whatever comes as they say. And today he mentioned it again ... that he didn't want to have children, I didn't say anything and I didn't react at all, because I don't like talking about the topic and I'm dumb. He doesn't want it at all, or he just doesn't want it from me? !! And he knows very well that I want it and I want it to be for him and not for someone else ... I'm confused, I don't know what's going on in his head,
Answers 7
He has already written this. How many times will you post the same topics? I will not want to be 22 years old. of course. At this age one has other priorities. I also gave birth at the age of 31. Get focused on education, career, travel, going out with friends. Now is the time for that.
A man of 40. You are still young. I can write a lot about raising a child. You are not mature enough for that. No offense. I'm not saying this with bad intentions. It is not a question of getting pregnant and giving birth. A lot of women can do that. Go to sites for mothers, mothers and those who seek help. Look at life realistically. At the moment, what expenses do you have, and after the child is born, it will be 2 or even 3. No matter how much you dream of a child, think about it. A small, fragile and defenseless living creature. With its appearance on the white world, it makes your dreams come true. Love, endless giving, numerous sleepless nights that will seem endless. Think that no one is obliged to help you. Food, clothes, bills. Everything becomes terribly expensive. These funds must come from the father. He didn't sleep all night because of colic. Push for a living and the evening again. Every young child gets sick periodically while building an immune system. These are running to the doctors. Getting incompetent honey. personality. Unwinding from-to. God forbid something more serious happens to the child. I was at home. Suddenly my son / was 4 months old / started roaring terribly loudly. We tried everything. Food, water, warm belly compress. He kept screaming. Something made me open the diaper so he wouldn't get wet. And I was shot. One of his testicles was very swollen and very red. I barely managed to get his pediatrician, who could barely say that it was normal to cry because of colic. I don't remember how angry I was with her on the phone and hung up. During this time, my wife found the phone number of the head of the maternity hospital, which had a private office 200 meters from us. We talked to her and I grabbed him from the nappy as he was naked. I wrapped him in a blanket and ran to her office. She felt him for 5-6 minutes and tried to contact her colleague. I sent him the address by text message and he was home within 20 minutes. It took him 3-4 minutes. The child suddenly stopped screaming. He drank a lot of water and fell asleep instantly. He explained that it had spilled and was normal for the boys. He set it up, but had to have surgery. I've been on the phone for three months. In this city. Not in the other. He did not find an anesthesiologist or an operating room in our city. Until I was advised to go to this surgeon's teacher. And he is not someone unknown. I trembled for three months and did not know where I was. Until the doctor told me not to dare touch the baby without it spilling again. Your age also matters. If you pass 30,% for Down syndrome also rises. My wife got pregnant at 34, and the angels got us out of that percentage, too. You shouldn't even think about making quarrels and scandals in front of the child. Read. Learn more facts. You will find out for yourself that this is a huge step in life. And in the words of your friend, he is going through such a period. He will get wiser. Sam will start wanting a child. But don't press him or push him. At most to run away from you. That's why I said you're small.
No, you are not small. Right now is the time to have children. The younger a person becomes a parent, the better. At the age of 20 you will not have these nerves and energy as at the age of 30 Believe me. Ask him directly if he wants children from you, if he doesn't want to dump him. Do not waste your years, because sometimes conception does not happen from the first or second attempt, there are couples that take years.
In my opinion, the fact that you are "filming" for children means that you are already starting to want them. That once you are in a stable relationship, living together, your instinct is awakened. But it seems that this stability works for him in the opposite way - he does not want to spoil his way of life, his comfort. If so, make him a little uncomfortable. For example, taking a dog to get used to disturbing his peace of mind for something he loves.
You said it yourself: you're filming. Try to live in the present, the future is far away. Alpha, w. 30 years
Men never have children from the one they love, but they have children from the one they are sure of
I don't think it's too early, as some say, you are the most energetic now and nothing weighs on you. Nature has determined when it is best to have children. I am 25, unfortunately by coincidence I still do not have a family. I know from personal experience that it is not pleasant to have elderly parents. The reasons are many, but I do not list them. One of them is that when people have to slow down, go on vacations, be freer and calmer (over 52-3), my parents would fight to support me because I was a student.