Hello people, with each of my relationships I am becoming more and more convinced that I suffer from emotional dependence. I am a woman of 21, so far I have had 4 partners and in general all my relationships have ended in the same tragic way. From the beginning of the relationship, I worry about the very end, I have problems with trust, which does not allow me to relax and I am always alert to the suspicion that my partner may lie or hurt me, and usually my fears are justified. When I'm with someone I'm looking at in the long run, I think if one day we could settle down as a family. When I had any doubts or was hurt, I had a habit of using some manipulations or interfering with strangers in the relationship, just to find out something or to influence my friend. All this is due to fear of the end of the relationship, which is part of a greater fear of one day ending alone. I have always been surrounded by fans because I look good, I am cheerful and confident, sociable and I have a rich general culture. At some point in the relationship, however, I begin to feel unhappy, depressed, crushed, taken for granted, losing my confidence and radiance. This is the moment when my mind tells me that the relationship should be terminated, but I absolutely refuse to obey this thought. Then comes my desire for control and my attempts to put the relationship in order in my own destructive way for both parties. Even when the partner wants to end the relationship, I can't let him do it, although I am fully aware that this is the most logical and reasonable way out. Then months pass, even a year, until he recovers from the pain and frustration, and regained his confidence. I worry that one day I may come across a violent partner and my emotional addiction will prevent me from ending the relationship, or that I will have problems at all in the future. Please don't judge me, I'm self-critical enough. I will be grateful to receive well-meaning advice.
Answers 8
You are not dependent, you want to dominate. I don't know if you will be a victim, but if you had the power and strength, you would become a bully. Intelligent, smart, analytical, you can take the essentials out of a distant situation. But your problem is the starting point. You are 21 and have had 4 relationships. According to your confessions, from the very beginning you start judging your partner in the long run if and how he will become your husband. Then, the manipulations followed. Didn't it occur to you that at the age of 18, let's say, you don't need to be married, but you can do something useful and pleasant for you? Also, didn't it occur to you that you can't expect a marriage to come out of every relationship? Then, why are you so anxious not to lose your loved one? If the relationship is not going well, no matter for what reason, let go of your partner, and you move on to a more suitable one. For now,
Hello! In your story, it's like describing myself. I'm generally skeptical, I try not to show it, but when it comes down to it, I try to be honest, which they are not happy with. Like you, I have fears that they will betray me, make fun of my feelings, that's why I'm cooler to my partner. To this day, he still loves me that even more. There is no guarantee that if it were any different for you, you would keep it. Accept that this is how it should have happened, if you don't trust him, just blunt him, don't push him, don't be too jealous, don't try to control. -Elizabeth, 20
As you get closer to 40, it will pass ... My ex was like that. Well there is no such horror and boredom! You go home on thorns. Your phone and skype are always dug. You care about everything, even the most insignificant things and details. You have to tell how your day went from-to: to whom what did you say, to whom did you smile ... Otherwise hysteria, dramas, mean things start. I loved her and wanted to help her. Several times I suggested we go to a psychologist. In the end, I couldn't stand it and kicked her out of the house. He would commit suicide, no matter what. He sent his brother first to persuade me, then to beat me. Now every year I light a candle that I got rid of ... I had forgotten what it was like to be with a normal person, with a normal woman next to you.
Have fun. On 21 plans for a lasting partner. We are not in the 60s of the last century. The problem is not your others but yourself. Talk to a psychologist, why are you behaving like this.
Wow, you remind me of a girl I really liked and still like - Irina. She is like a rose - she looks and smells nice and is a great person, but there are thorns that hurt them. I made a lot of attempts to get closer and at one time we were somewhat close, but she didn't share with me, hurt me with her attitude and sometimes used manipulations. I tried to show her that she could trust me, but she remained suspicious. From the very beginning, when we were at a party during a trip to a hotel with a group, I realized that she would ruin things between us when she remarked to me on one occasion and I became very sad. Then I realized that she is not careful and is not sensitive to the feelings of others. We saw each other at a certain time and the attitude improved a little less, because in the beginning it was very bad - impudent and condescending, because I had shown her that I like her because I am straightforward and open. Eventually I started to back away because her attitude was insulting and hurting me and although I wanted to write to her and see her I had to not do it, I wanted to see if she would make an effort to get closer after I had laid so much, but she didn't. She accepted it as if I didn't care about her. Even once, after I wrote to her, she replied, "What are you so worried about?" And I told her that I had always been worried about her. I often think about her and wonder what would have happened if she had behaved better or if I had been more persistent. I wanted to see if she would make an effort to get closer after I had put so much, but she didn't. She accepted it as if I didn't care about her. Even once after I wrote to her, she replied, "What are you so worried about?" And I told her that I had always been worried about her. I often think about her and wonder what would have happened if she had behaved better or if I had been more persistent. I wanted to see if she would make an effort to get closer after I had put so much, but she didn't. She accepted it as if I didn't care about her. Even once, after I wrote to her, she replied, "What are you so worried about?" And I told her that I had always been worried about her. I often think about her and wonder what would have happened if she had behaved better or if I had been more persistent.
Oh, I'm the other extreme. My boyfriends are something like you. It's very annoying. I don't know if you want to achieve this ... even someone annoys me when he starts listing details of his day on Facebook, let alone exercising control. People need personal space. Read it. Go with someone you're not madly in love with. There will be a balance. You will not be sticky, you will not think if he will leave you. You are obviously targeting those who are harder to keep. They may not have been very sunken at first and you may feel it. I don't know where I went with this advice, as I can barely cope with myself.
Hi, I'm also 21, woman, and it's like I wrote this. The fear you're talking about, I got into a situation like that ... even pretty bad ... anyway, I felt it and ran away quickly. I'm alone right now and I've decided not to get close to anyone unless I really like him. All my demands ... what can I say and I am afraid of loneliness, but I prefer to be alone than with an inappropriate person. As for the people who wrote comments like "have fun", "what age do you live in". In my opinion, in the 60's people lived much happier than now. I don't know if it was due to food or morals. But I know and I see that at the moment young people are depressed or addicted to something that does not speak of fullness. And this girl here, and I personally, are one of the few remaining Women, with dignity and strength. And believe me,
Uh number 8, how will "worthy men" be found, and with such negative behavior will you send them away even if they are found? Is this just wishful thinking? You can't start from the position of fear and doubt when you start something, because that's how you guarantee that you will fail. You need to be optimistic and ready to face challenges and difficulties.