Hello, I don't know where to start my story, everything is so confused, I have the feeling that it gets worse with each passing day. I feel terrible and I know I'm to blame for a lot of things to get here. It has been difficult for me to express my feelings to others since I was a child. I can't just say YES or NO, be direct with people and often remain misunderstood. 2 years ago I broke up with my boyfriend after a lot of dramas, scandals and gatherings. Since then I fell into a big hole, I stayed at home for 1 month, I couldn't say anything. I started a job, found activities and saw that being alone was not as scary as I imagined. I told myself that I would be strong and independent, no matter what it cost me. But since then I don't care about the others, except for the closest ones in the family. I have some fears about relationships, that all this could happen again. I also have a kind of indifference to people, especially the men I date. I try not to rush and do not put unnecessary emotions in my relationship with them. That's how it came to a few months ago, when I met someone different from the ones I've been dating. For the first time in a long time, I did not feel absolute indifference and there was some, albeit minimal, thrill in my relationship with someone. I wanted to spend more time with him, but my daily life and fear of a new relationship literally made me close. All this until one night, when I relaxed and did not back away from him. The moment she hugged and kissed me ... I felt like a teenager in love again, experiencing this for the first time. I don't know how to describe it better. Until the morning, when my usual thoughts and fear came over me again. I told him about it and we parted disappointed. I pulled away for a while, and I had other things on my mind, he kept looking for me, and something like ignoring happened. However, we met and he told me, although not in plain text, that he saw that things were not going well and there was no point in wasting any more time. I don't know how I restrained myself, my eyes began to fill with tears, but I managed to hide the emotion at least in front of me. I didn't want him to see my weakness. But neither I nor he refused. One day I gasped.
We had written to each other in the morning, but I ignored it with the first thing I came up with. That I don't feel good doing anything. And I had gone out with another, to whom I had reservations, but I decided to give him a minimal chance ... I don't know if there is any karma, but this was not hidden, he had seen us. Now, when I read his message a huge ball formed in my stomach. I went home and cried. And so all night. We didn't write to each other for a while, but at one point we started again, albeit less often. Over time, this became more common, but he was no longer looking for me to go out. Just a chat. One night I was with friends at a bar, I told him where I was ... he didn't come. On the other hand, I met my ex. Who didn't forget to dig into my wounds from the past, to brag about his new life, his new boyfriend and to remind me how insignificant I am for him and why we broke up. I felt even worse, but I didn't fall, and after a few days I didn't care about anyone again. Shortly afterwards, the story 'repeated' - we wrote to each other, but we were left with only that. One night I told him again where we were going with company, I waited for him, but he did not come. Call with a suggestion to see you later, just the two of you. I felt offended and cut him off sharply, but I had gone out for something else tonight. I wanted to see him, but the thought of him manipulating me in such a way to meet after the bar terrified me. He hasn't called me once since. Neither can I imagine praying for something and turning out to be the typical weak and defenseless woman. However, I think about it quite often lately. I wonder what I (didn't) do to continue with this person? Why did you get here? Am I so bad in my relationships with people or have I just come across another person looking for another number? I don't understand why I care, I don't understand why it hurt, I didn't want to be with him. I ignored it and cut it, I didn't want it then why should I want it now? Why do such things happen, I'm not 16 years old, why the hell?
I felt offended and cut him off sharply, but I had gone out for something else tonight. I wanted to see him, but the thought of him manipulating me in such a way to meet after the bar terrified me. He hasn't called me once since. Neither can I imagine praying for something and turning out to be the typical weak and defenseless woman. However, I think about it quite often lately. I wonder what I (didn't) do to continue with this person? Why did you get here? Am I so bad in my relationships with people or have I just come across another person looking for another number? I don't understand why I care, I don't understand why it hurt, I didn't want to be with him. I ignored it and cut it, I didn't want it then why should I want it now? Why do such things happen, I'm not 16 years old, why the hell? I felt offended and cut him off sharply, but I had gone out for something else tonight. I wanted to see him, but the thought of him manipulating me in such a way to meet after the bar terrified me. He hasn't called me once since. Neither can I imagine praying for something and turning out to be the typical weak and defenseless woman. However, I think about it quite often lately. I wonder what I (didn't) do to continue with this person? Why did you get here? Am I so bad in my relationships with people or have I just come across another person looking for another number? I don't understand why I care, I don't understand why it hurt, I didn't want to be with him. I ignored it and cut it, I didn't want it then why should I want it now? Why do such things happen, I'm not 16 years old, why the hell? after all, I had gone out for something else tonight. I wanted to see him, but the thought of him manipulating me in such a way to meet after the bar terrified me. He hasn't called me once since. Neither can I imagine praying for something and turning out to be the typical weak and defenseless woman. However, I think about it quite often lately. I wonder what I (didn't) do to continue with this person? Why did you get here? Am I so bad in my relationships with people or have I just come across another person looking for another number? I don't understand why I care, I don't understand why it hurt, I didn't want to be with him.
I ignored it and cut it, I didn't want it then why should I want it now? Why do such things happen, I'm not 16 years old, why the hell? after all, I had gone out for something else tonight. I wanted to see him, but the thought of him manipulating me in such a way to meet after the bar terrified me. He hasn't called me once since. Neither can I imagine praying for something and turning out to be the typical weak and defenseless woman. However, I think about it quite often lately. I wonder what I (didn't) do to continue with this person? Why did you get here? Am I so bad in my relationships with people or have I just come across another person looking for another number? I don't understand why I care, I don't understand why it hurt, I didn't want to be with him. I ignored it and cut it, I didn't want it then why should I want it now? Why do such things happen, I'm not 16 years old, why the hell? that manipulating me in such a way to meet after the bar terrified me. He hasn't called me once since. Neither can I imagine praying for something and turning out to be the typical weak and defenseless woman. However, I think about it quite often lately. I wonder what I (didn't) do to continue with this person? Why did you get here? Am I so bad in my relationships with people or have I just come across another person looking for another number? I don't understand why I care, I don't understand why it hurt, I didn't want to be with him. I ignored it and cut it, I didn't want it then why should I want it now? Why do such things happen, I'm not 16 years old, why the hell? that manipulating me in such a way to meet after the bar terrified me. He hasn't called me once since. Neither can I imagine praying for something and turning out to be the typical weak and defenseless woman. However, I think about it quite often lately.
I wonder what I (didn't) do to continue with this person? Why did you get here? Am I so bad in my relationships with people or have I just come across another person looking for another number? I don't understand why I care, I don't understand why it hurt, I didn't want to be with him. I ignored it and cut it, I didn't want it then why should I want it now? Why do such things happen, I'm not 16 years old, why the hell? However, I think about it quite often lately. I wonder what I (didn't) do to continue with this person? Why did you get here? Am I so bad in my relationships with people or have I just come across another person looking for another number? I don't understand why I care, I don't understand why it hurt, I didn't want to be with him. I ignored it and cut it, I didn't want it then why should I want it now? Why do such things happen, I'm not 16 years old, why the hell? However, I think about it quite often lately. I wonder what I (didn't) do to continue with this person?
Why did you get here? Am I so bad in my relationships with people or have I just come across another person looking for another number? I don't understand why I care, I don't understand why it hurt, I didn't want to be with him. I ignored it and cut it, I didn't want it then why should I want it now? Why do such things happen, I'm not 16 years old, why the hell? I didn't want it then why should I want it now? Why do such things happen, I'm not 16 years old, why the hell? I didn't want it then why should I want it now? Why do such things happen, I'm not 16 years old, why the hell?
Answers 8
Well, because the man is tied up that you want him, then he sees you with another ... You don't like the other, but you want to give him a "minimal chance" - whatever that means ... sounds like sex. In general, no man is fascinated by such behavior. You go out with companies, with this one, with that one ... You hit him through the millet. Stay in it until your obsessions pass. Don't "treat" yourself at someone else's expense. You can't treat people like rags and mats and project the qualities of your old disappointments on them. Put yourself in his place. You see him with another, and he explains nonsense to you ... What does he look like from the side? Easy behavior. That's what it looks like, but it's just like that. With such behavior you can only rely on counters, a serious person will not deal with you. I give you a guarantee. You look at people quite selfishly. You have high expectations of them, but you are only interested in your pleasure ... I would very much like to tell you something nice, but from your story, I would not look at you anymore if I were in his place. You know? Things for him are exactly as they seem. And you're trying to get others out ... sorry. Too bad you're lying to yourself. You look for men as if you were in a mall and you choose a T-shirt ... You don't do that. That's all I can tell you. I do not wish you success, because it means to wish you success in playing someone. I can wish you to learn to be honest and punctual with people. At this stage I do not see how it will happen. Behaving badly is already like opium ... They are already "cured" so obviously ... They fall into some crazy need to fuck the other to forget the former and an endless madness begins .... From which innocent people cry ... Then they "come back" and so begins a mass schizophrenia ... Something that has nothing to do with normal and sincere relationships between people. Selfishness, fun, ugliness ... then tears, questions, but I'm not like that ... When you go to a person, try sincerity. At first. Then it will be easy. Remember what that meant - sincerity. A beautiful word that everyone wants, but no one gives ... Like love :)
Your problem is that you want things to be your way, you don't show understanding, you sulk and act like a spoiled child. You do not make an effort to build the relationship, on the contrary you ruin it with a capricious attitude. You mentioned you were at a bar and you expected him to come right away. "I felt offended and cut him off sharply" - well, he then felt offended that you treat him like that and he stops looking for you. What do you think will happen? I don't understand why you think you can make fun of love, I say with love, not so much with the person on the other side, because if he doesn't feel anything, he won't sleep at all. You joke and make fun of love itself, you are capricious, self-centered, but you expect that things will somehow sort themselves out in the end. It won't happen.
Things are simple. If you want to see him, no matter what, look for him, talk without behaving idiotically, explain to him how you feel. This does not make you weak and defenseless, as you have instilled. If not, forget this story and move on. In any way, whether it will be as before, whether you will change your attitude towards people, this is your life. But to sit and stomp in one place and wrap some madness around your head that he's guilty of not looking for you and not wanting to go out ... sorry, but that's ridiculous. You missed the moment when you saw him start to pull away from you and he hinted to you what was going on. But instead of taking the initiative, you took the second violin out of the closet. I don't think there can be any relationship between the two after such a story. With this behavior you have killed all feelings and emotions, it always happens when we start to think a lot. And for your ex, the man has obviously continued his life, but you want to appear to him again to reunite. I don't know how he put up with it if you treated him the same way. That's where the problem comes from, not from the man himself.
This is not a fear, but a convenient excuse to keep driving as you see fit. Looks like you still have feelings for your ex, that's the problem. And he doesn't. And precisely because there is nothing you can do about it, you react at the first sign and make it happen to others. But that doesn't help you in any way. Except it feeds your ego for a while, while you think about your ex again. Even if someone stops looking for you, what do you care? You can take out 3 more ready-made options. Then the cycle repeats. So by digging into the past you blur the present and the future. You have to learn to give ... and respect the one against you. What kind of love when there is a lack of basic respect and empathy? Do you see how you fell victim to your own game? You wrote to each other, he didn't invite you, maybe he wasted his time? You put him in front of a fait accompli that you're somewhere ... he is not coming. Because he has decided so, today he will not comply with others, they are not important at this moment. Familiar, isn't it? Did you think that if you frowned after he didn't run like a puppy, an apology and explanations would follow? Because you are important and things will happen as you say? Well, apparently it didn't happen that time. Get used to the fact that you are not special and no one owes you. You certainly have some feelings when you still think about it. But he will not look for you, if you can overcome your ego, you do it. Be direct and honest, it doesn't hurt. Get used to the fact that you are not special and no one owes you. You certainly have some feelings when you still think about it. But he will not look for you, if you can overcome your ego, you do it. Be direct and honest, it doesn't hurt. Get used to the fact that you are not special and no one owes you. You certainly have some feelings when you still think about it. But he will not look for you, if you can overcome your ego, you do it. Be direct and honest, it doesn't hurt.
I think you have a very serious split personality and a bad attitude towards people. You want it, but you cut it. Then you get angry when he doesn't come to a certain place. Why would you come while you're with company, since you've only seen each other only a few times. If I were, I wouldn't come to a bunch of people I don't know. Lower your ego a little and start showing interest in people, if you really have one. Will you stand alone for the rest of your life, shutting yourself in and running away from everyone? This is life, sometimes you come across bad people who hurt you, sometimes you find the right person. Life is a risk even in our relationships with people. Stop shutting yourself in and open yourself to life and give yourself to it and you will see that you will soon find happiness. Just because it didn't work out with one doesn't mean that everyone else is like him. Do not put men under a common denominator! Success!
Your relationships with people are not the most readable, you have a difficult character, and you cannot overcome the past. That's why things like that happen to you. :) Things in life don't always turn out the way YOU want. You require special treatment from those next to you. You don't reciprocate with that and you impose OVER the relationship. By being angry, insulting and demonstrating how much you don't care about others, you only ruin the relationship. You come out the winner, finding fault with others. In reality, however, others give up on you. Like what happened when he didn't come to the bar, and when you saw your ex. You were overlooked, out of focus, you couldn't force yourself as usual. The one against you doesn't like you because he has to. This is a person, not a gift that is there to comply with you. For a more complete relationship, you need to learn to give more than your time and your body. I don't want to offend you, but judging by what you've written, you hardly had one. Even your last one wasn't harmonious enough. And right now you care because you're starting to fall in love. But selfishness, feelings for your ex-boyfriend, and fear of change have ruined everything. Focus on them, fix them and move on.
From the author: Thanks to the team for publishing my story. Like everyone who commented. I was interested to hear your opinion. Yes, I still have feelings for my ex. I can't forget it and it will probably last forever. A part of me really wants us to get back together. No other, I don't want to relive all the dramas he created for me. I tried, but he doesn't want me anymore. I don't think I'm going to fall anymore. But I learned my lesson, no one deserves my treatment, since they can't comply with me. The fact is that I love to have options and my choice has always been difficult. I don't think I did anything wrong. I can go out with whomever I want, I don't owe anyone, and I don't sleep with everyone. The fact that most men have unrealistic expectations is entirely their problem. No matter how sour and hard they give me, we will go out whenever I want. I liked that about him, in most cases he complied with me. I tell him that I don't want to and he doesn't care anymore why, what I will do and with whom. But he was looking for me too often. And every time we saw each other for a while, we always spent a few hours. He hadn't listened to me since that moment when I told him how things were. He continued to know his own and to do things his own way, which at times was humiliating to me. Like last time. He hinted that he was nearby, but did not come. And he suggested we go to them later. I can't leave the people I called that night. His act was insulting, he didn't even apologize. He hasn't called me since, only congratulating me on my name day with a clichéd hypocritical wish. And I think more and more that he has found another one. For him, I may have been just a brief adventure,
I'm number 6. Author, it's time for you to grow up and start behaving a little more adequately with the people around you. Judging by your comment, it is unlikely that your ex will ever return to you, no matter how much you want it to happen and give it away. Your behavior is terrible, there is hardly a masochist who wants to do something like this again. Kill him, don't look at old photos, don't follow him on Facebook, don't live in the past, but look ahead. Aren't these 2 years enough for you to spin in this vicious circle and sit in one place? So by pushing people away, you will end up throwing away your great love ... out of your own stupidity. Your options will sooner or later run out. It's nice to say you don't owe anyone, but it works both ways. And they don't owe you anything. : ) I do not understand why you keep convincing yourself that you are right and things should be your way. He complied with you, he looked for you often, you responded, you saw each other for a while and you spent hours ... I hope you realize that in all these facts the feelings were mutual. I don't know how you got there to blame someone for having a good time for hours and what you mean by that. He wanted to escalate your short relationship, completely normal, sexual attraction is always at the core. Don't you think that he is indebted to you and will be waiting for you forever, while you unwind it and hide behind your ego and the memories of your ex? I'm sure if you had relaxed to let things happen, you would have made even better money. And you would both go to bed happy, and you would be a little further away from your usual thoughts. And so you could slowly get out of the bottomless pit you are in right now. And his act was neither offensive nor humiliating. You strain, you perceive things at the first sign and react in the usual way. From the side, you look like the typical evil bitch, who is able to feel something only when she is in the mood for it and always puts it first to scratch her ego, especially with all its options. But sooner or later it comes down to you falling in love and burning your own bridges. What more can we say than analyze the situation here? only when he is in the mood for it and always puts it first to scratch his ego, especially with all its options. But sooner or later it comes down to you falling in love and burning your own bridges. What more can we say than analyze the situation here? only when he is in the mood for it and always puts it first to scratch his ego, especially with all its options. But sooner or later it comes down to you falling in love and burning your own bridges. What more can we say than analyze the situation here?