Hello, everyone! I had a very special relationship with my father. I look like him visually and in character. He died suddenly when I was 17. I'm already 30, but in my relationships with men I fail miserably. Do you think there is something psychological or subconscious that I can compare in my relationship with the opposite sex and in the feeling that I have lost my father? In general, I accept any separation from a man as difficult, as if the world ends. I had a relationship with committed men twice, falling into the trap of the love triangle ... I also had one in which, knowing that things were not going well at all, I wanted to stay together again, just because I didn't want to lose a man in my life again. And what will seem strange to you now is that I have never abandoned a man, ever. They've always put an end to it, it's like I don't have the courage ... I hope someone who reads this to tell me how to turn my mind and not constantly attract "doomed relationships" and be brave in my relationships with men. Don't get me wrong, I will always be sad for my father, but I have overcome his loss and continued my life, I just wonder on a subconscious level if I do not "block" the men in my life for fear of losing them. ...
Answers 5
Sounds like fear of abandonment and therefore dependence on the presence of the partner. I recommend working with a psychologist, hypnotherapy and meditation. Work towards the development of self-love, confidence, awareness that you are valuable at the moment (without the need to compare, improve *). Working with the inner child in order to realize the needs and their self-satisfaction. Because, you probably have a tendency to make crazy compromises, to melt into relationships (to be the way you are loved), instead of being yourself and accepting an unacceptable attitude towards yourself. It is possible to take on the role of a victim, to become emotionally dependent on men. You may often think, I do so much for him, why doesn't he care about my happiness too? And the truth is, that you have transferred all responsibility for your personal happiness into the hands of another person. And this responsibility is too great and everyone would run away from it. It is possible that you are running away from it yourself. This is emotional dependence. You may have heard of yourself as obsessive. It is possible to completely reject and not even know what your personal needs are. If so, I could describe an exercise that helps you become aware of them. * I hasten to make a note in connection with the improvement of myself. Because when many people hear this, they say to themselves, "Nonsense, everyone should strive for more." Absolutely, that's right. Everyone should strive for a better version of themselves, but the main motive should be personal growth and self-love, not the approval of the environment. The difference is that in one case, actions bring pleasure and satisfaction, and in the other tension and pressure. Ros
Emmy, I'm a man a little younger than you, but I'll tell you what. For me personally, the father, as a figure, plays a huge role in both boys and girls as they grow up. How you lived is very important. Whether with divorced parents, whether your father abandoned you or died, as in your case. I also have problems of a very similar nature, only with women. Even honestly, I have exactly the same problem as you. I have repeatedly maintained relationships with committed women, living with the illusion that something could happen. I have repeatedly tried to keep a man close to me, even though the relationship was very toxic and I just validated the woman. I began to dig deep into my mind and analyze my childhood and past. I generally analyze every situation, but I started to rewind the tape constantly and far back in time. I brought back memories of my mother's and father's relationship with each other and with myself. Well, I didn't like the result and the discovery at all, but I was right. My father traveled all the time and was absent from home while my mother raised me. The result is that he didn't know me at all, I never felt close to him, unfortunately. Not having a father figure meant not having a male model and role model. I became very insecure, cowardly with a rosy vision of things, a mother's son who was not prepared for many things. It took me a lot of effort and time to change this whole image, but I still have to work a lot on myself. So yes, there is a direct connection. You can do the same and go back in time to reconsider your relationship. I subconsciously try to be a strong man, but I'm still at the bottom of that image. My father is much weaker in character, and I have never felt a male presence as an example. Obviously, things are the same for you. You are trying to bring these men back into your life. He left you without being able to change that, and now you're projecting it onto your relationships. If you think about it at all, then it is true and your doubts are true. Turn your back on the past and think about what you want from a relationship, what you can give and what you want in return. The men in your life are the image of your father. I am trying to eradicate this model imposed on me by my father, delete and mention your father as something negative and enter into a new relationship with a different attitude. This is my advice. as a character and I never felt a male presence to be an example. Obviously, things are the same for you. You are trying to bring these men back into your life. He left you without being able to change that, and now you're projecting it onto your relationships. If you think about it at all, then it is true and your doubts are true. Turn your back on the past and think about what you want from a relationship, what you can give and what you want in return. The men in your life are the image of your father. I am trying to eradicate this model imposed on me by my father, delete and mention your father as something negative and enter into a new relationship with a different attitude. This is my advice. as a character and I never felt a male presence to be an example. Obviously, things are the same for you. You are trying to bring these men back into your life. He left you without being able to change that, and now you're projecting it onto your relationships. If you think about it at all, then it is true and your doubts are true. Turn your back on the past and think about what you want from a relationship, what you can give and what you want in return. The men in your life are the image of your father. I am trying to eradicate this model imposed on me by my father, delete and mention your father as something negative and enter into a new relationship with a different attitude. This is my advice. If you think about it at all, then it is true and your doubts are true. Turn your back on the past and think about what you want from a relationship, what you can give and what you want in return. The men in your life are the image of your father. I am trying to eradicate this model imposed on me by my father, delete and mention your father as something negative and enter into a new relationship with a different attitude. This is my advice. If you think about it at all, then it is true and your doubts are true. Turn your back on the past and think about what you want from a relationship, what you can give and what you want in return. The men in your life are the image of your father. I am trying to eradicate this model imposed on me by my father, delete and mention your father as something negative and enter into a new relationship with a different attitude. This is my advice.
Ross, please say the exercise! I recognized myself in your post.
Everything is from the family and the parents - a fact. An unhealthy relationship with one of them (or both) leads to change, rather ... to extremes. Children grow up to be hypersensitive, may become closed, insecure, and unfulfilled, or may become impulsive, aggressive, and over-ambitious. These qualities are also transferred to their relationships, especially if feelings or emotions are involved. Fear of abandonment and becoming a victim, or distrust and abuse. Stop looking for the image of your father in men. And stop choosing men with whom you have no future (here anymore, I don't know, you should have had a bad relationship with your mother, or your father, or you haven't overcome your father's death, or someone close to you has ever abandoned you?) . You recreate a trauma to experience a familiar emotion.
Hello, but I realized that if I describe the course of the exercise to you, you will know its end before you start and there will be no good result. But I found a few similar practices that you can do alone at home, with headphones. All you have to do is take some time so you don't have to worry. The link is to guided meditation, which offers a conversation with the inner child. I chose this one because it is short, suitable for beginners and because it is led by a young girl. I'm not saying it's the best, there are many others, if you write "inner child" on YouTube you will see them and you will be able to find the one that suits you best.