Do you think there are people who will never find a tolerable girlfriend - people who are initially so unattractive that whatever they do is doomed? I recently had two conversations on the subject with my friends. I don't like the cliché "there are passengers for every train", but I believe that one changes, albeit with difficulty, as long as one desires. And actions lead to results. I recently had two conversations on the subject. The first was with a friend of mine, let's call him Rumen. At 32, Rumen has had only one girlfriend so far. And it's understandable - it looks pretty bad. It is markedly full, with a bald head, hunched over, with crooked teeth. Recently he complained to me that women do not pay attention to him and he will die alone. I didn't want to reassure him in vain, but I also didn't want to give him a life sentence. I told him frankly what I thought - that this with the train and the passengers is a cliché, that attitude is important, but not just with it. And I told him directly that I think there is a way, but it requires a lot of effort.
That they are complex qualities, but the superficial is important. And I advised him to improve his diet, to start exercising hard and to fix his body in a year or two. To cut his hair very short so that he does not show baldness. And fix your teeth. Another thing I advised him was to look for a good job that he liked and brought him a good income. Now he's talking nonsense. I don't know if he will be able to do these things, but I think if he does, there is a chance. Man has complexes, but I must admit - he controls them. I did not notice any rudeness or vulgarity in him. He behaves well with people, he is communicative, smiling. People around him like and appreciate him as a friend. We had a similar conversation with another friend. And so far he has only had one girlfriend. There is a worse situation in some respects. Very skinny, with disheveled sparse hair, he looks like a genius. He is good professionally, but the complexes are very similar to him. He hates everything and everyone. There I gave him similar advice on sports and clothes, but advised him to work on his character and demeanor. I have not spoken to women on the subject.
We know 100-pound girls with mustaches who find it difficult to attract men's attention. But appearance is something that is in our control - sports, clothes, etc. With the character and complexes is more difficult, but they are subject to change. So, in my opinion, if a person is healthy, there is a way to make an effort and be attractive to the opposite sex. No one is inherently repulsive to generation. I don't know, what do you think? Very skinny, with disheveled sparse hair, he looks like a genius. He is good professionally, but the complexes are very similar to him. He hates everything and everyone. There I gave him similar advice on sports and clothes, but advised him to work on his character and demeanor. I have not spoken to women on the subject. We know 100-pound girls with mustaches who find it difficult to attract men's attention. But appearance is something that is in our control - sports, clothes, etc. With the character and complexes is more difficult, but they are subject to change. So, in my opinion, if a person is healthy, there is a way to make an effort and be attractive to the opposite sex. No one is inherently repulsive to generation. I don't know, what do you think? Very skinny, with disheveled sparse hair, he looks like a genius. He is good professionally, but the complexes are very similar to him.
He hates everything and everyone. There I gave him similar advice on sports and clothes but advised him to work on his character and demeanor. I have not spoken to women on the subject. We know 100-pound girls with mustaches who find it difficult to attract men's attention. But appearance is something that is in our control - sports, clothes, etc. With the character and complexes is more difficult, but they are subject to change. So, in my opinion, if a person is healthy, there is a way to make an effort and be attractive to the opposite sex. No one is inherently repulsive to generation. I don't know, what do you think? There I gave him similar advice on sports and clothes but advised him to work on his character and demeanor. I have not spoken to women on the subject. We know 100-pound girls with mustaches who find it difficult to attract men's attention. But appearance is something that is in our control - sports, clothes, etc.
With the character and complexes is more difficult, but they are subject to change. So, in my opinion, if a person is healthy, there is a way to make an effort and be attractive to the opposite sex. No one is inherently repulsive to generation. I don't know, what do you think? There I gave him similar advice on sports and clothes, but advised him to work on his character and demeanor. I have not spoken to women on the subject. We know 100-pound girls with mustaches who find it difficult to attract men's attention. But appearance is something that is in our control - sports, clothes, etc. With the character and complexes is more difficult, but they are subject to change. So, in my opinion, if a person is healthy, there is a way to make an effort and be attractive to the opposite sex.
No one is inherently repulsive to generation. I don't know, what do you think? but they are also subject to change. So, in my opinion, if a person is healthy, there is a way to make an effort and be attractive to the opposite sex. No one is inherently repulsive to generation. I don't know, what do you think? but they are also subject to change. So, in my opinion, if a person is healthy, there is a way to make an effort and be attractive to the opposite sex. No one is inherently repulsive to generation. I don't know, what do you think?
Answers 18
I am a woman and I think you are absolutely right. Good support and social skills can make you from nothing to top, or at least to an enviable level. I have noticed that people who are not successful in love lack at least one, often both. Unfortunately, they are usually reluctant to work on themselves, they are fixed on their shortcomings and kill them with malice and nagging, which completely destroys their chances.
Well, you told him very correctly. And yes, that is exactly the reality. But as you say, some complexes are downright dangerous. With that, if they can handle it ... then the rest is easy. Look here, when you wait for some complexes where through a topic or comment, there is a real horror.
I am a man of 31 of the hopeless cases, I have never had a girlfriend, I am not ugly or at least I have not been before, just none of my parents since my childhood was not interested in me how I feel, etc. only my mother she cared if I was fed and something didn't hurt, and so to this day, my "father" is rubbish, I hate him. He was 40 when they made me. an old bachelor and a simpleton who would never marry, but my mother's first husband died of an illness and she was left alone with a child by her first husband and relatives had introduced her to this one. Then apparently his parents made him have a child with her and I showed up. I grew up in complete loneliness and no understanding from my parents, he - a simpleton, selfish, miserable. she is a good person but not very intelligent, with a basic education. And with the low self-esteem of my parents' misunderstanding and disinterest in me, no one paid attention to me. On the card, I was raised as an animal, not as a human. In time I realized that I have no chance to meet a woman who likes me and she likes me, it is very bad when there is no one to talk to, to tell what you dream about, what you are afraid of, to hug, to feel the warmth of his body, to walk, to travel, to make love (because it's not just sex) From this long-term loneliness and depression I had no desire to work and for anything, I finished high school since then I stay at home, from stress breaks my teeth, and every year I have 1 tooth less, I do not smoke or drink or take any drugs, physically healthy, clean criminal record. I would not start a job even if I have this opportunity in an area in which I have interest and knowledge, because during all this time I managed to get to know people in general how bad they are. I would never do something I don't like, money / salary is not as important to me as the attitude of a boss / colleagues. I don't go out anywhere so as not to see beautiful women and cause myself pain like my dream of a relationship, I think about them and I want them, etc. I kill time in front of the computer, reading, etc. movies very rarely, mostly Russian and erotic (not porn ) I have reconciled, I know other people who also do not have a girlfriend or did not have, on the street where I live, besides me there are two others, older than me, maybe about 40, one of them his mother died no long ago and was left completely alone. I try to prepare mentally for the end that lies ahead.
But what advice would you give yourself? You are hardly anything different from the above
Well, no matter how much they deceive us that if you see the appearance did not matter, but the appearance, behavior, clothes, attitude and how cool the man was, fat and fat people no one likes them and shy away from them. Now why blame our souls? It's not like I've seen them fly for them and admire them. And not just the fat ones. In general, the more ugly, non-athletic, neglected. And worse - they are NOT respected. Now, there are some impudent and impudent people, arrogant, who shout, they are rude and their people have respect, just because they are afraid that they will not be screwed. I have not noticed nice, nice, thin or slightly fluffy people with nice features standing alone. And they have so many friends. I really wonder what hopeless cases could do?
For me .. being a loser is encoded in a person's attitude. If he feels lost - he will be. I have seen many unattractive people who do not complain about attention. But I have not seen many losers who have reason to brag. You're really right, but I don't think it's something to learn. Not only women, but people in general, like funny and cool people. Brother.
And now imagine that Rumen tightened up, followed all your advice, did his best, and assumed that he still didn't succeed? And then what? It will curse you for life ... You better not give "competent" advice to people! You do not know, and you will never understand who is struggling with what challenges in this life, what karma is working. It may be best for his spiritual development to sit alone and struggle. There are reasons for everything in this world ...
I do not know. I have decided that I will look for a foreigner (Belarusian for example). The situation with Bulgarian women is ... Shock. No femininity, no tenderness, nothing that would attract me to them. And all the men were guilty, they were women, I don't know what, and did you Bulgarian women look at each other?
I was a "hopeless" case. At school, I was full, with gynecomastia, pear-shaped, and narrow shoulders protruding forward with a slightly curved figure forward. Apart from that, at the age of 16 I started to thin my hair. I was an outsider all my life, everyone made fun of me or shunned me. I would say that I am an intelligent person, but my voice was deeper and I dragged the words more, and when I added my clumsy figure, everyone told me that I was slow and dull. At one point, school ended and I enrolled in university and went to another city. Everything changed there because I changed the nasty situation. I started going to the gym, I started following a diet. I watched various videos on the net on how to fix my posture and gait. My hair began to thin even more and I just shaved zero number. The process was long. I lost weight in a year, I fixed my shortcomings, I started wearing better clothes. Gradually, I began to gain self-confidence, and things turned in my favor. I am now 27 years old, and seeing photos from 7-70 years ago, I just can't recognize myself. Author, your friends have no choice but to try to become something better. The better version of yourself. With resentment or not accepting the problem, it will not be solved. You, as their friend, can support them. For example, start playing sports with your complete friend. I'm not talking about gyms and the like. Just more walking, running, mountaineering, etc. your friends have no choice but to try to become something better. The better version of yourself. With resentment or not accepting the problem, it will not be solved. You, as their friend, can support them. For example, start playing sports with your complete friend. I'm not talking about gyms and the like. Just more walking, running, mountaineering, etc. your friends have no choice but to try to become something better. The better version of yourself. With resentment or not accepting the problem, it will not be solved. You, as their friend, can support them. For example, start playing sports with your complete friend. I'm not talking about gyms and the like. Just more walking, running, mountaineering, etc.
And where is it said that you must get married? It doesn't matter if you continue the family, the important thing is to be good and do good, the body is mortal and the soul is eternal, the spiritual is important.
Very ... noble that you have taken care of those without boyfriends, but why not take care of those with low or no income, who always grumble that their state is to blame and should give them higher benefits, motherhood, fatherhood, etc. Those without boyfriends do not excite me, because they do not tickle me with taxes, and why you are excited I do not see a logical explanation, but the latter, which I mentioned ....
The only thing that matters is how the man looks. While men are ready to date uglier women than them, women are only looking for perfect men who look like models, so they put on 2 tons of makeup to try to attract top men and not someone who does not have the face of a model. . This is the truth, believe what you want
7, if you are in the position of Rumen, it is unlikely that the practice of karma will calm you down. Will you want to stand alone, to develop spiritually and in the next life to be 6. You were completely screaming with these esoterics ...
"Do you think there are people who will never find a tolerable girlfriend - people who are initially so unattractive that whatever they do is doomed?" The exterior is a decoration of the inner world, of man :) ”About the hopeless" cases "There are no hopeless people, there are people who do not believe in themselves, in people, do not appreciate what they have, do not believe in a better tomorrow and change.
Abe, number 3, tighten it! You are 31 years old, and you are a man, that is, you have been a man for a year, according to my criteria, until 30 years ago they were boys because they study, because they are not financially independent, because they are not very independent ... there are exceptions, of course , but in general cases it is so. So ... in that line of thought - where did you go with this gloomy worldview and vision for your own life? You could, but you didn't want to ... it's the easiest way to be apathetic, to become a cynic and blame the world and people, not to take responsibility for your own life! Think carefully about what you are doing and why you are here!
Dudes, believe me! In destiny, circumstances, God, in himself, in something. It happens to everyone to hit a stone once, twice, ten, fifty, a hundred times. At one point, the disappointment takes over and you just want to give up and write everything off. Take a break, don't force things, gather your thoughts, and try again. Worried you don't have many friends? True friends, the only ones who matter, are counted on the fingers of one hand. The others are just familiar. You don't need others to succeed. In most cases, it is against people rather than thanks to people. The opinion of others does not matter, because they are not you and do not know what you are going through, and in 99% of cases they do not care. I also disagree with the saying "Every train has passengers". Rather, I agree with "Who seeks, find. "However, even if he knows exactly what he is looking for. There is no exact formula that works 100% for everyone. However, I think that if a person gives up his dreams, he no longer has anything to live for ...
And we all fell in such moments. Absolutely everyone who has written or will ever write in this topic has had a hard time, they have cried, their souls have suffered, and so on. Are those where you have money, boyfriends and sex quo ... is everything very TOP in your life? Well, there are weak points and there is no way without them. The point is not to delve into the bad. We need to appreciate the good things and give them importance. That's how life is ... one year ... the next year ... Why bother. It was important to raise the salary chat pat and that's it: D ... I'm kidding naturally. Author travel and meet new and cool people. There are exceptional. Until recently, I was super nervous, but I had booked a trip with an agency. After seeing the interesting, positive and cool people, I call myself "why am I so nervous" .. he is a half-happy life. Or in the larger one. One thing is wrong, but another. I'm sure it's the same with you.
Maybe you note some things correctly - appearance, social skills, etc. But in my opinion, the reason is hidden deeper - in the psyche of man himself. Their current problems are most likely related to a difficult childhood, parental abuse, mental trauma or even heredity. Both appearance and behavior correspond to this. Because in the presence of initiative, any person who is not with any severe deformities, with more or less work can be brought, if not in the form of a mannequin, then at least in a completely decent form. From this point of view, the comment above, which says that the advice you give is superfluous, is correct. Your friend will spend a year or two in the gym, put braces, implants and whatever is needed for the teeth. Even thinning hair can be masked with a suitable hairstyle. But if you do all these things, not because he understood this need himself, but because you told him - really nothing will change. So as much as you want to help, in some cases the only one who can help someone is himself.