Hello! I wonder if you would accept regular financial help from your parents as well as from your spouse's parents? You both work and manage to manage the money you receive, but your parents keep helping you by giving you extra money, of course as soon as they have the opportunity. I specify that you do not seek their help, but they insist on accepting money from them, even though you are single and over 25 years old. What would you do? I will be happy if you share what you think about the topic.
Answers 15
ehh ... Very clear. We both work and most regularly someone sends money. In general, we use them to cover some surprising expenses or store them for a surprising expense. In general, we do not spend a lot of money and try to set aside what we can or push it into the loan. However, his parents behaved adequately if they behaved like crazy and held us accountable .... no, better not. To keep this money and choke on it
Well, if they press so hard to give me money, I will sacrifice myself to pass. Just not to do it with any back thoughts and get it out of my ass afterwards, Annanism?
Many parents do that, I don't think it's right. My mother died and my father has no desire to help. Otherwise, my husband and his brother looked after their mother, bills, food ... I didn't know that before we got married. I notice and they are known that way. Mostly men.
Cons - such assistance is most often paid for by interfering in personal relationships.
Well, it depends, if you study and if you have to pay for a dormitory and a university, yes, why don't the parents get involved to help support their child, who is still studying? And food, transport, textbooks, supplies - some students go to summer brigades, but lag behind with exams! But at least they have money to cover their fees and rent! Everyone decides for themselves!
I am on the other side - a parent. The moment they started a permanent job - no money. Of course, if they get stuck, we will help. On holidays we "give away", but they manage even without these 50-100 levs.
The biggest help would be to teach them to make money on their own. You know the tale of fishing.
No, in such a situation I would not accept help. However, we are a separate family. The only way to have complete freedom in your decisions and not feel almost obligated to listen to the opinions of older people is to be completely independent. I like the idea that everyone makes their own decisions and has their consequences. I would starve my freedom, but I wouldn't sell it for extra money. Then a year will pass, I will have a child and his grandmother will tell him that she, you know, is the reason we dealt with his father in time. And what? Then my child does not trust his parents because he thinks that his grandparents are the people who manage everything and manage to provide for a normal life. No thanks.
My parents help without asking for anything in return, and we accept, and my husband's helps, because of their difficulties. It is a little difficult for us to help elderly people in Belgium, where everything is expensive, but until they retire we do not have the opportunity to bring them back to Bulgaria.
I only accept money for birthdays, Christmas and weddings without throwing it away. Usually this money is paid in another way - by interfering in personal relationships and in choosing where to spend it, by hinting over time how they gave you money in the past and now you have to look at it in old age, etc. In addition to observations at friends, I also have personal experience - my husband was paid for some things in the apartment as a gift when he furnished it in the past and they didn't seem to tease him. From strangers we heard a complete list of the things they bought, as well as statements that the rest he bought himself was only because they helped him financially at the time (no, because he works and gets more out of them). On the other hand, you are a young family and you should take care of yourself. It educates and builds you as a couple, raises your self-esteem and unites you. And to take without you needing ...
Years ago, I accepted help from my parents, modest but from the heart. I am grateful for that. Now I, voluntarily, without the need, support them, they are already very old. I also help the children, again no one drives me or expects anything from me, nor does it interfere, absurd. Giving makes me happy! I don't want anything from anyone, only my relatives to feel good. 8, I don't like this future tense you used in your comment. Take a big bite, don't say a big word. You do not know what Life will serve you. One must be able to both receive and give. ie to have balance.
Absurd! I am a woman. For me, this would be the greatest shame in the world. To take - young, healthy, straight people - money from our parents, instead of us taking care of them after they have paid for our education, and given us a start in life, and provided us with property - that for me at least is extremely unacceptable and very, very, very ugly. Exactly the opposite. My mother, after remaining a widow and retiring, did not pay a single bill - we take care of everything. We barely persuaded her to accept this help, because she is also proud, but in the end we had to. How will I leave my mother with a BGN 300 pension to pay for her electricity? !! My husband has two more brothers, while I am an only child, so the three brothers take equal care of their mother. She still works, but for a low salary, so the help is in the form of vouchers for trips she can't afford, or home appliances, minor repairs, etc. In winter, they also help with heating. Even if I had a full set of wealthy parents, I still wouldn't accept a penny of them. Not for anything else, but because it means to admit to them my personal failure - a kind of that I am not worth anything and all their investments in me were in vain. And if my husband takes money from his father-in-law because he can't feed his daughter, it will be such a disgrace in his eyes that he will rather be ready to explode.
Up to 17, your mother has an income of BGN 300. In total, my parents take care of over BGN 3,500 from salaries and at least as much from the apartments. Yes, they also have big loans, but somehow, BGN 200 in the middle of winter to pay for the electricity and get food, they won't leave them naked and barefoot, don't you think?
12, take it easy with the loud words! It is very clear that it is time for you to take care of yourself and help. You have already received significant financial support once you have an education and property, thanks to your parents. It is very easy to say "absurd" if you have not started your life from scratch and you have not been in need, no matter how much you want to. It is human to help each other.
Very strange. Here, every second topic is how children are not indebted to their parents and how the parents in question have no reason to expect any, including financial, support from them. That's good. But now it turns out that these same parents are obliged to feed their children for life. Number 13, what do you care about your mother's and father's income? Aren't you ashamed that you, young man, can't pay for your electricity? Isn't it awkward for you to tell them: mother and father, I am a complete failure, I have gotten to the point where I stay in the dark and have nothing to eat because I can't do my job? And since you are doing your job better than me, give me some money to cover the month. Whatever the parents' savings and income are, they are theirs and can scatter them on trips if they like. The son or daughter has their income and their budget and to spread according to it. And yes number 12, I was in need. I also lived in a dormitory, I became seriously ill, I got divorced ... I didn't take a penny from my mother all the time, even though she begged me to help me with tears in her eyes. I started working in two more places and got back on my feet. That's how I solved my problems, not by collecting the old woman's pennies.