I want to ask - is it good to wait longer before taking the decisive step? According to my observations, at least 2/3 of couples who have married earlier have more problems. Either they separate or they can't stand it, but they don't separate, because then they would be left alone. A small part of them love each other (or so it seems in front of people). Again, this is my opinion. I may be mistaken. So far I have not been in a hurry to get married. Two of my exes were close, but things fell through because of me. One has a very unsuccessful marriage (she is now 35, not divorced, but things are not going well). The other is still alone (now 34). But now I have found my wife. She has an unsuccessful previous marriage. I am 38, she is 32. So far for almost a year everything is flowers and roses. We are not officially married yet, but we will have a child and the signature is forthcoming. So I wonder how it will be in 5-10 years. It's clear, that in life it's not like in the movies. I hope for a healthy family.
Answers 14
The step to marriage or cohabitation should take place when both feel ready. The important thing is to have love, respect and common goals. Everything else is a ceremony for fun and tradition. There will always be frictions, conflicts ... It's like living with another person. It is important that both partners have the will and desire for understanding and are willing to compromise. There should be no selfishness in a couple. I think that a child binds much more than marriage. I don't think you have to wait, you're not teenagers, you're mature. Do not have illusions that everything will always be pink, but it depends on you when a problem arises to be able to solve it. And the most important thing is not to hurt yourself and not to allow other people to interfere in your relationship. I wish you success and a live and healthy baby to be born to you.
Nobody can tell you that. It's up to you how healthy your family will be. Things turn upside down when the children show up. Problems usually arise when a man begins to cringe from household chores and parenting responsibilities. The period in the early childhood of the children is quite difficult. A challenge for both of you, like no one you have ever known.
But hey, tighten it. You will marry, of course, you have a child. He will become a parent, but his problem is to sign or not. Until now, if you are not mature enough to realize when it is right for these things to happen, you will probably never mature, but be responsible to the child. You get married and don't think about separation at all, because you will start a family. You will tolerate, she will tolerate you, you will compromise and you will push your life together. And do not expose yourself at this age to write such things on such a site.
I would say that I am not particularly interested in this issue. Everyone is free to marry when they think the time has come. There are all kinds of stories and you can't guess in advance. Some find their soul mate at 22 and others at 42. Once upon a time, people got married early, nowadays most people look to be 25-26 years old before they finally settle down. I understand both points of view, but I think the partner is important, not the age. I would not marry a person with whom I cannot live in one place and experience laughter and tears together. No matter how old you are, every marriage has critical moments of misunderstanding, difficult compromises, irritation and faded passion. So it is with long relationships. It's inevitable. Young people are more violent and emotional, some get married without thinking much about it, and then it turns out to be a mistake.
FOR later marriage. I speak from experience. I am currently 35 and recently divorced. When I got married, I was 22, almost a child, with no life experience. I was madly in love and thought that everything would be "and lived long and happily". Well, yes but no. It's just that we both weren't ready for what lay ahead. Until now, we had both lived with our parents and we had no idea how much time and energy purely household chores take. Not to mention that I had just graduated from university, so I was just starting to look for my first real job. And my husband, used to watching him mom, thought that I was a copy of her and would continue to live as before, go to work, and at home everything will be cleaned with magic and in the evening I will wait for him with a warm dinner . So the first frictions and problems started from there. You will say that this is nonsense. Yes they are nonsense! But today you argue about one nonsense, tomorrow about another, then about a third ... and one day you find out that 80% of the time you are arguing and you actually have radically different views on life. And then begins the struggle to preserve the relationship, which, however, is almost certainly doomed. Until you finally give up. You drive it on inertia for a while, until one of them thinks, "Well, do I want to live like this for the rest of my life?" Add to that the relatives who, out of a good feeling and concern, are constantly interfering with you because you are "so young and have no experience" and things are already getting out of hand. It's just a matter of time before someone gets scared and says out loud what they've both known for a long time. Namely, that things do not work out and it is better to divorce. Generally, That's it. When someone starts explaining to me how he is ready to get married at the age of 20 and have children, it becomes both funny and sad. Because in 99% of cases he or she has no idea what it's about! He's just madly in love.
Dude, there's nothing dumber than marriage these days. But when you made the child ... Basically, the woman is a permanently dissatisfied animal. Early marriages are mostly ruined by her. After 30 you can expect her to calm down, but who can tell you ... There is a story - the man as you teach him, the woman - as it happened ... She is a creature incapable of training and self-control. Personally, it seems to me that it is better to have this job earlier, so that you can go through it, divorce it, and look for peace. And I'm close to your age, and I'm still getting angry - no, thank you ... I don't see what a woman today can give to a mature man. In youth - sex, emotions - yes. But he can't offer anything to a mature man except responsibilities and annoyances ... When you get there, squeeze your thumbs and jump, so whatever happens ...
Depends on the person. I got married at 24 after I graduated. He was 27. We have a stable marriage perfect. Everyone should get married when they decide for good.
When you look at the woman against you and you want her for the rest of your life and you don't want any other women. This can happen at 25, it can happen at 30. That even later. So it depends on the people. I don't think age matters, but I'm against getting married soon after dating. I would even tell many people to wait for the child first and then. A child makes a better family than the biggest wedding in the world. That they can quickly marry someone and get married in a few months.
From the author: Number 5 and I think just like you that you should not hurry. Because, for example, a person at 35 judges people much better than someone at 25. If I had married one of the exes I wrote about in the topic, I would probably have been divorced a long time ago. Although we supposedly loved each other. The one who is still alone looks very good, but she has a terrible and selfish character. I can't imagine who would put up with it or look after children. The other, who is married at 35, looks like 50. She's a good person and she's not guilty of looking like that, but sexual attraction would be 0. Don't make it sound like only women are to blame. And I'm not a "smelling wrist." These are just the facts. There would be no good marriages. Number 3, anyway, we have already made a decision and we will get married. The signature is not a problem for me. It is a mixed marriage and I need documents from BG. I will take them out in the summer and we will sign them. And already with a child and at 38 there is no going back. I hope it's for the best.
We lived together for 4-5 years and before our baby was born we signed. Our lives before and after the signature did not change in any way. I was 31 then, he was 40. And so far nothing has changed in our relationship. A signature means nothing.
I got married at 21 / my husband was 26 / and we have been living together for 24 years now, and we have sex regularly. We raised children, bought a home, paid for it and furnished it, but most importantly - we still hang out and have something to say every day. In my opinion, the problem is not with age, but with people's laziness - yes, that's right, laziness. If the partners behave like children of mom and dad, do not help each other, are not taught to take care of themselves and the other, nothing will happen. Households will crush and strain them. Even young couples have more energy for children, home and are more adaptable to each other. I can't imagine where I will get energy at 38-40 for everything I did at 22-30 for example. In my opinion, older couples formed after 30 find it more difficult to adapt to each other and over the years have become more pretentious and selfish.
Look now, these things are delicate. Just as one takes care of Golf, so one must take care of one's other belongings. The woman is no exception. First, you approach confidently and with charm. No one is perfect but you. That is, you choose. Whatever you are looking for, no matter how pretentious you are, there are always passengers for every train. You are the train, they are the passengers. You are also the conductor - you decide who rides. Over 26? There's a passenger train, you're an express. Is there cellulite? That's why there is cyanide. You choose carefully and demandingly. You study it - you have to be sure that your choice is right. You test it to see if it works, if you have to, you give it to the neighbor, to the neighborhood, to the dog Sharo. If it creaks between your legs - back to the stall to get your money back. Once chosen, then you can give her a ring (as well as a chain, not to run away from the hut in the yard). Done, you're married. In the second, the procedure is the same.
I think it's up to the man. On the one hand, at 35, you will really make a much more sober judgment. On the other hand, at 35 you can have a lot more emotional baggage and pieces, compare your partner with previous ones, have unexperienced sections and that will hinder. I personally would bet on a late marriage. But this in terms of individual interest. If we look at the interest of our nation and civilization from the point of view, I am for early marriage. Today, up to the age of 40, we select, think, reason, divide and have the direct strength of one child, the second being the exception. And the Roma brothers are born at the age of 15 and conquer us. It is the same in the West, except that there are Arabs. In the United States, for example, people often marry young and have 2-3 children. I am already years old, but if my child ever wants to start a family at 20, I will not stop him.
If there was a universal formula for a successful marriage, there would be no divorce. It all depends.