We have been living together for 3 years. At first in dormitories, student dormitories, but for 1 year now we have been living in his hometown, not in dormitories, and on our own. He likes to invite his / her friend / s, for which we have certain contradictions. I will directly share examples from these days, which are otherwise nothing new. The other day, I was making dinner, it was about 9 pm and he told me that he would invite a friend. I frowned and told him that dinner was for two people, I would have to give up part of my dinner just because he wanted to. And I'm pregnant by the way in the first few weeks, by the way, and I feel almost constantly hungry even after eating sometimes. The other thing that would happen was hanging on the table at least until midnight because of the guest. As it turns out, I don't want to make these compromises, especially since he didn't warn me about it. We have dinner in the room where we sleep, because we only heat this room, so I wouldn't go to another room. Well, he complied, but he threatened me with something like 'You'll see why I didn't call him because of you', and I asked him what he meant - when the time came I would find out. Even if he just said it like that, I didn't feel well, because it happened that out of nowhere he served me a hint. By the way, I told him: invite him tomorrow, I'll just clean up, I won't be in the room to see you in peace - he's not that small, but he plays games and that's their main occupation. The next day they went out, then they came and I did housework all afternoon while they were together. I didn't even go to them at all because I'm not comfortable. I could read a book or stand on the phone if I was in the room. It so happened that I hadn't eaten since morning, I was so hungry that I got nervous. Later I told him that I couldn't sit down to eat quietly from them - it was cold in the kitchen, I wanted it warm and I just told him. It may be a trifle and I'm not entirely right, but he's been picking on me for the second day for what I've said and he's acting bad. Out of anger, I told him that I should be his most important person, not some friend of his, for whom he would insinuate some nonsense to me. I tell him that I have to be calm mainly because of the embryo in me ...
Going to work, he called me an 'idiot' because of the same thing - I told him that it doesn't affect me / actually me, and a lot / - then he repeated the insult, he shows me his middle fingers and scolds me with very harsh words. Other times I always keep going - either I tell him how I felt, or I cry and apologize to him / even if I don't feel guilty! /, or write him a message; I seldom say anything offensive to him, but not seriously. This time, however, I have no desire to contact him, and he is usually the person who ignores me - especially when there is guilt! The opposite happened - he wrote me messages about how slimy I was, he called me. Finally he apologized. But the insult remains. I have told him hundreds of times that insults kill love, that there are other ways, but pass - do not pass, do it again. Either I forgive him or he apologizes to me. But here we are together and he longed to get pregnant, because it took almost a year of trying. I actually realized this these days that I was both happy and at the same time we couldn't believe it was true. I immediately started to be interested in what is the development of the fetus so far, what should I eat more, I also tell him that I have lost more, etc. I've been lying that I'm 'complaining' to him, I've been lying about everything I share with him ... And I'm a serious person, I like to say what I think and feel. I may be petty, but I want everything to be clear. I don't know how to make him think. Today he thought, because for the first time I did not return it in any way. But it costs me more resentment because I keep it to myself. I must admit, however, that I do not like to welcome guests very much, and more often in the late hours I am not very ok, and he loves a lot. So, for the upcoming New Year, I refused to invite people because last New Year, although the atmosphere was pleasant, I could not have dinner from the service. Otherwise, everyone was fed. It is one thing to lose for the sake of your child or relatives, it is another for the sake of strangers. I'm complaining, I've been a liar for everything I share with him ... And I'm a serious person, I like to say what I think and feel. I may be petty, but I want everything to be clear. I don't know how to make him think. Today he thought, because for the first time I did not return it in any way. But it costs me more resentment because I keep it to myself. I must admit, however, that I do not like to welcome guests very much, and more often in the late hours I am not very ok, and he loves a lot. So, for the upcoming New Year, I refused to invite people because last New Year, although the atmosphere was pleasant, I could not have dinner from the service.
Otherwise, everyone was fed. It is one thing to lose for the sake of your child or relatives, it is another for the sake of strangers. I'm complaining, I've been a liar for everything I share with him ... And I'm a serious person, I like to say what I think and feel. I may be petty, but I want everything to be clear. I don't know how to make him think. Today he thought, because for the first time I did not return it in any way. But it costs me more resentment because I keep it to myself. I must admit, however, that I do not like to welcome guests very much, and more often in the late hours I am not very ok, and he loves a lot. So, for the upcoming New Year, I refused to invite people because last New Year, although the atmosphere was pleasant, I could not have dinner from the service. Otherwise, everyone was fed. It is one thing to lose for the sake of your child or relatives, it is another for the sake of strangers. I like to say what I think and feel. I may be petty, but I want everything to be clear. I don't know how to make him think. Today he thought, because for the first time I did not return it in any way. But it costs me more resentment because I keep it to myself. I must admit, however, that I do not like to welcome guests very much, and more often in the late hours I am not very ok, and he loves a lot. So, for the upcoming New Year, I refused to invite people because last New Year, although the atmosphere was pleasant, I could not have dinner from the service. Otherwise, everyone was fed. It is one thing to lose for the sake of your child or relatives, it is another for the sake of strangers.
I like to say what I think and feel. I may be petty, but I want everything to be clear. I don't know how to make him think. Today he thought, because for the first time I did not return it in any way. But it costs me more resentment because I keep it to myself. I must admit, however, that I do not like to welcome guests very much, and more often in the late hours I am not very ok, and he loves a lot. So, for the upcoming New Year, I refused to invite people because last New Year, although the atmosphere was pleasant, I could not have dinner from the service. Otherwise, everyone was fed. It is one thing to lose for the sake of your child or relatives, it is another for the sake of strangers. Today he thought, because for the first time I did not return it in any way. But it costs me more resentment because I keep it to myself. I must admit, however, that I do not like to welcome guests very much, and more often in the late hours I am not very ok, and he loves a lot. So, for the upcoming New Year, I refused to invite people because last New Year, although the atmosphere was pleasant, I could not have dinner from the service. Otherwise, everyone was fed. It is one thing to lose for the sake of your child or relatives, it is another for the sake of strangers. Today he thought, because for the first time I did not return it in any way. But it costs me more resentment because I keep it to myself. I must admit, however, that I do not like to welcome guests very much, and more often in the late hours I am not very ok, and he loves a lot. So, for the upcoming New Year, I refused to invite people because last New Year, although the atmosphere was pleasant, I could not have dinner from the service.
Otherwise, everyone was fed. It is one thing to lose for the sake of your child or relatives, it is another for the sake of strangers. for the coming new year I refused to invite people because last new year, although the atmosphere was pleasant, I could not have dinner from the service. Otherwise, everyone was fed. It is one thing to lose for the sake of your child or relatives, it is another for the sake of strangers. for the coming new year I refused to invite people because last new year, although the atmosphere was pleasant, I could not have dinner from the service. Otherwise, everyone was fed. It is one thing to lose for the sake of your child or relatives, it is another for the sake of strangers.
Answers 21
Emmy ... that's right. Let me just tell you, honey, that if you have problems now, when the baby shows up, things will get a lot worse. But enough.
Child work is your friend. He has to consider you, especially now. But it's your fault, darling. He took you for granted. His friends are more important to him than you are. If I were, I would comply and help you with your homework. But you chose him. What are these insults and middle fingers? I just wonder about you women. How do you choose them? Then, when you turn 30, divorced and with children, you think of decent boys, where they have been, etc. This is not hate, I'm just telling you the truth that I'm tired of such posts with everyday life.
Well, condolences ... you met an idiot. From now on it will get worse ... And the worst thing is that the child you carry inside you has his genes ...
I still can't figure out how you want to get pregnant from such oligophrenics, how do you tolerate such immature children at all? !!
A typical idiotic male act. Try to be calm, thanks to my husband's quarrels I had a miscarriage. Nowadays, many men are like children and at such a time, instead of behaving well with women and taking care of them, they break their nerves. Mine reached such extremes that I cried for days and the result was bad. Beware, you don't have to be angry about anything now. And yes, it's important to eat well now and keep your husband's games in the background. You're right.
Don't have an abortion and smoke! If it's not too late for that. Your friend is an idiot, devoid of emotional and any other intelligence, concerned about his needs primarily. It is also infantile and petty. And imagine when the child comes how much he will help you and he will be by your side. The answer is zero! Think until it's too late if you don't want to look after the child alone and ruin (your husband) your whole life.
Honey, no man has the right to treat you like that, especially when you're pregnant. I'm sorry, but it's just that your man seems to be behaving like a child and a capricious child who thinks that everyone is obliged to comply only with him and his wishes. Now that you are pregnant, do what you want, and when the child is born? The baby will need peace and quiet, and he what? He will drag his friends to play video games at any time ... So it's not bad to sit down and talk as adults, because you are almost parents and a lot of things will have to change from now on.
Number 3, you're rude, don't you think? Do not interfere with the unborn child of the author! Regardless of the genes, children can be much different from their parents. Still, think before you have children! Author, separate from him during pregnancy so that he does not become white, and he can become aware when he feels your absence. If he doesn't realize it - leave him alone, you'll be better off alone than with a nephew. You will have a child and you need to take responsibility for him, to have money for his support, to provide him with a calm environment, for yourself - also because you will be busy enough with him to deal with, and with someone there. ..
If you are still in the first weeks, it is better to urgently consider an abortion or the possibility to raise your child alone with the support of relatives! From what you explain, your friend is extremely immature, and not only is he not happy that you will have a child, but he is also burdened and annoyed when you deal with the topic. Separately, his behavior shows that he has not made a living and is not ready for a family at all. Verbal aggression towards you and banging can not justify anything, if you have a child things will escalate and become even worse. And all this affects the fetus, you must be calm and cared for during pregnancy, not to be shouted at, threatened and insulted - the situation is absolutely unacceptable and you are currently completely dependent on an idiot! When the baby is born you will be even more dependent, he will accuse you of not making a living and ruining his life with this child, and then the real harassment will begin. Think of an abortion until it's too late!
Now let me tell you how things really are. However, the site is anonymous and you can pour me slop. This "man" of yours and future father is the way to go! You study. Do you go to lectures, etc. Have any of you thought about the issue of family income? !! Bills, food, clothing? Now you pay a ridiculous amount for electricity and water. When this little man is born, do you know that they will double jump. You will receive some ridiculous money for motherhood, but the greater support must come from the father. Provide a children's playground at least. When will he make this investment? When he was born and then to make repairs? The child's personal physician / pediatrician / must come and approve the place where the child will live. Clothes, crib, bottles, diapers, it's all funds. He must provide them. Or will his friends support him financially? He does not know what world he lives in. A child is a huge responsibility. It is not a phone to update or turn on to charge. It goes through a small but happy hell. The first 3-4 months you will get up every 2-3 hours to breastfeed him, change your shoes to entertain him. While Daddy will be back. And as I listen to you, you have to deal with the baby more quietly because the father will be tired and nervous from not sleeping. After the 4th month, the colic will start in 2-3 months. You will all roar. Let's not forget that all babies start to get sick at this time. Run to the doctors, run to fix documents. I don't think it makes sense to continue with the real everyday. And you described one / mother's pampering /! What? When a child is born, will he suddenly grow up? There is no such film. There are three options: You grab it by the handle. And directly in the eyes in plain text you tell him everything I wrote about above. You will not keep silent about anything! It is better to be honest now than when the child was born. And instead of living in a world unknown to him, surrounded by love, happiness and security, to find himself in a hostile environment with quarrels, fear and misunderstanding. It is a living and fragile creature! There is only mom and dad! If he continues with the same way of life and it is time to leave him. It is better to raise this child only with his mother, grandparents, than to harass his existence with quarrels. I am 39 and I have a 5 year old boy. We ruined this child's life! His mother is a freak! Realizing that she was pregnant, she showed her true nature. Pampered. Mom. Living in her own world. The child takes it for granted. That she has to take care of him there. I've been making fun of me for 6 years now. At first we fought and shouted at each other. At the age of 3 the child was diagnosed with "psychosis"! He is 5 years old and behaves like he is 2. He doesn't talk. Behaves inappropriately. Is that what you want? !! I began to be silent. Scandals are daily. I could not explain to her that we live for our child. At some point we will leave this world. How will this child whose life we ruined live? !! There was no one to tell me in time what kind of person this woman was. I wanted this child. It is my dream! I would give anything for him! Many times I have prayed for the "great" god or devil to appear. Whatever price they ask me to fix my son, I will pay it right away! Don't doom your child to this! The third option is not desirable. You are young. You can still look for a person who will appreciate and love you. Is that what you want? !! I began to be silent. Scandals are daily. I could not explain to her that we live for our child. At some point we will leave this world. How will this child whose life we ruined live? !! There was no one to tell me in time what kind of person this woman was. I wanted this child. It is my dream! I would give anything for him! Many times I have prayed for the "great" god or devil to appear. Whatever price they ask me to fix my son, I will pay it right away! Don't doom your child to this! The third option is not desirable. You are young. You can still look for a person who will appreciate and love you. Is that what you want? !! I began to be silent. Scandals are daily. I could not explain to her that we live for our child. At some point we will leave this world. How will this child whose life we ruined live? !! There was no one to tell me in time what kind of person this woman was. I wanted this child. It is my dream! I would give anything for him! Many times I have prayed for the "great" god or devil to appear. Whatever price they ask me to fix my son, I will pay it right away! Don't doom your child to this! The third option is not desirable. You are young. You can still look for a person who will appreciate and love you. There was no one to tell me in time what kind of person this woman was. I wanted this child. It is my dream! I would give anything for him! Many times I have prayed for the "great" god or devil to appear. Whatever price they ask me to fix my son, I will pay it right away! Don't doom your child to this! The third option is not desirable. You are young. You can still look for a person who will appreciate and love you. There was no one to tell me in time what kind of person this woman was. I wanted this child. It is my dream! I would give anything for him! Many times I have prayed for the "great" god or devil to appear. Whatever price they ask me to fix my son, I will pay it right away! Don't doom your child to this! The third option is not desirable. You are young. You can still look for a person who will appreciate and love you.
I would not live with such a man. Especially because of the child !!! I do not want to raise my children in such an environment with such a moron! Ž
I would just say "run" because I experienced the same thing. I was not pregnant, thank God. It all started like this, with middle fingers and insults, then it came to a serious metal mutilation and constant imputation of guilt for every little quarrel. I don't think there's a way things won't escalate at some point. These are a kind of red flags. It's even worse when you have a child. The choice becomes indescribably difficult and I sincerely sympathize with you. As the woman shared above, God forbid you have a miscarriage, because it is quite possible. In my opinion, these are early signs of toxicity. Better a single mother than an infantile man who will ruin the lives of both you and your child.
You have every right to feel affected in this case. My advice is to look after your health and ignore your husband completely. Don't talk to him so fast. Let him try too. For the last time I am convinced that modern men are the weaker sex / there are exceptions /.
As I read your story, at times I thought I had written it. In general, my friend is like yours, he does not invite guests home, but others are always more important to him, he is ready for anything for them. Many times I wanted to make him feel all this neglect, but nothing. The commentators are right that we choose them ourselves. Maybe when your baby is born he will grow up. And now you think only for the baby and for yourself.
"Threatened with something like 'You'll see why I didn't call him because of you,' and I asked him what he meant - when the time came I would find out." That was enough. Author, I will tell you an unpleasant truth, you must understand it and make your choice. The light you have gathered is dangerous. He's not a criminal (yet at least), but he's poisonous to you and your life. It will feed your life. It will FEED. Think a little about what a pitiful semblance of a subhuman animal threatens his pregnant wife. Think about it. He invites friends without considering you - you are obviously his low priority, he is obviously more interesting with other people than with his wife. It offends you - there is no respect. He threatens you - he is a vicious scoundrel. Only with this you should already understand - you do not interest him, he is vicious, he does not respect you, he is vindictive. He is already an occasion for tearing. However, it is brutally bad for you - you are CHESS AND MAT. In his city, presumably in his quarters tied to him, PREGNANT. Do you realize how dependent you are on this monster right now? And I'm not just talking about the emotional blackmail that the little one exerts on you (and you described it yourself) - you already carry his shoddy genes inside you. I'm telling you seriously - it will get much worse, especially with children. You will try to compromise, he will cut your life - he will not comply, he will continue to ignore you, invite friends, swear and threaten. He's not violent yet, give him time. Abortion. After the divorce. Yes, yes and yes - it sounds ugly, awful, I'm worse than Uncle Adolf. But really, think VERY well about where a relationship with a sinister complex is going (the squirrel from your story sounds impotent). He will not improve, he does not get pregnant, he is in the middle - his friends and relatives will stand up for him. you are far from family and acquaintances, YOURSELF. You are the one who will pay the price for a dysfunctional marriage. You can still correct your mistake and not bury your life. You can still restart. It will be unpleasant, it will hurt, it will be humiliating, but it will pass. And you will breathe freely again. It won't work if you stay in this relationship - an old stereotype, you think it will change because of you and your family, it won't. Do not bet all your youth and life at the expense of a scumbag. You still have the opportunity to eliminate your bad choice. But don't wait long - time is not on your side. You can still restart. It will be unpleasant, it will hurt, it will be humiliating, but it will pass. And you will breathe freely again. It won't work if you stay in this relationship - an old stereotype, you think it will change because of you and your family, it won't. Do not bet all your youth and life at the expense of a scumbag. You still have the opportunity to eliminate your bad choice. But don't wait long - time is not on your side. You can still restart. It will be unpleasant, it will hurt, it will be humiliating, but it will pass. And you will breathe freely again. It won't work if you stay in this relationship - an old stereotype, you think it will change because of you and your family, it won't. Do not bet all your youth and life at the expense of a scumbag. You still have the opportunity to eliminate your bad choice. But don't wait long - time is not on your side.
I 100% agree with number 16! You will take care of a child and a crib on your own. Either run away from it or the worst option is abortion. A child requires 110% of your time and attention. And this "dad" will only make things even harder. You do not have time . Hurry up.
The author. When I wrote to you, it turned out that I was not in the first weeks, but in the third month, and in the fourth I had to have an abortion for medical reasons. I was relieved because I know now is not the time for that for me personally. And by the 5th month he would have died in utero. I showed him your comments when they were approved for publication. He became very naughty and had behaved very well. While I was pregnant, he was caring and resourceful. I would like to share something more about him, but I understand what you will tell me ... And you will be right. I believe that no matter how things develop - it will be the right way for me ....
Author, This is more than good. Now that you're not burdened, it's time to break up. Let the impotent scoundrel bark alone. You fixed your life, it's time.
Sorry for the loss! It can be seen that the author is a valuable girl and one day she will be a great mother. Good luck :)
Delicately hint that whoever invites guests, he will cook for them and entertain them (especially if they are not your friends).
A man who has more friends than you is not for you. You should be important, your health and peace of mind, not to have fun with someone. He should at least consult you, not isolate you like that. Your friend just hasn't made a living, it's still wide around his neck. He cannot be perceived as a father and a husband. Either tighten up or hit the road.