Hello. I am writing this story in order to share it with someone who can understand me ... and can best be done by an anonymous person. That is why I turn to this site and ask for my story to be published. Most likely, for most of you, the story will seem extremely familiar to you and you will say to yourself :, Come on again, children's film! ''. It really weighs on me when I start thinking a lot ... I'm lonely. I have real friends who have proven themselves more than once to be like that, but I'm lonely not because of that. Almost all my girlfriends and friends have caught someone ... someone who truly loves them. Even girlfriends who have hurt me too much to forgive them are happy ... and I'm not. I'm not the type of person who can't be happy or who envies other people's happiness.
On the contrary, just the opposite ... I've done a lot for the people I love, I have covered up my best friends thousands of times to go see my boyfriends. I have helped my close friends - a boy and a girl - to get together, even if it means that I am a total backup plan, that they naturally they will want to enjoy each other, and that I will be alone again. I can always tell them, I know this, I know that they will listen to me, I know that they will always be by my side .. But how did I deserve to be alone .. I do not deny that I am difficult to win, but why everyone should to give up when they see it so. I don't know what's wrong with me, my character is not like most girls and I'm extremely patient .. I don't get angry about almost anything, I never get angry about nonsense .. I'm not jealous of stupid things. I have a really good heart. I always try to be useful to people, even to those who have hurt me a lot. Why it must be so unfair, why it must be so. Why good people are not always reciprocated. Life is not easy, I know, I do not complain, although I manage everything on my own, even at this early age. I'm not a 12-13 year old filmmaker who wants to attract attention. I think about others, I try to do my best. The best of me so that others can be happy. I am grateful that I have real friends, I am grateful that I have many other things ... But why me. I repel most guys who show interest because I'm afraid of being hurt again. And only by repelling them will I know that I am safe. It's not a bad thing to be so careful, but how do I fight with myself sometimes? How can I stop demanding so much of myself, how can I stop looking for all the guilt in me when I know that is not the case.
My heart freezes more and more, I get colder with time, I get used to relying more and more only on myself. And I don't want this to be so .. I pray that someone will dare to fight and win me .. I pray that someone will finally break my stubbornness, someone will finally break down the barriers of my heart .. someone who will let me grab and not let me go .. someone who loves me, who will make me love him unconditionally. Someone real. I feel superfluous next to my girlfriends, all committed, without 1-2 to whom I can complain. I feel alone, surrounded by so many people. I feel bad and no one understands me. Alas, this is obviously life nowadays and even people who are very difficult to bear find someone to love them. And the decent and the good in most cases are left alone.
Answers 6
I read and wonder if I'm laughing or sorry. You describe yourself as good, but at the same time you want someone to fight your stubbornness. In my opinion, tying two people is not a war, and each sends a signal to the other that he wants it and so a connection is made, but you are obviously expecting a guy armed to the teeth to throw you on the shoulder, chained and say: - From today you are mine. With your contemptuous behavior towards men, you will write here for a long time and you will enjoy other people's happiness ... not that you are happy, but you just envy them, but they do not inflate and do not consider men geeks.
Some time ago I started on this site looking for someone to understand me. In your story, I see myself before ... and now. Yes, this moment comes unexpectedly when someone comes into your life. It will happen to you too, but love can be very deceptive. That is why I wish you, when this happens to be real and meaningful every day, and to look at the person next to you and smile. He is not desperate for love. I did so and now, even with a woman next to me, I feel even more lonely. Head up and think positive. The most important thing is when you have someone to share with and he understands you.
I'm 19, I have a similar problem. It weighs on me from time to time. I have a hard time trusting myself, I don't let anyone near me, I like to do a lot of things on my own, even though I have a lot of friends and I'm constantly at parties. I support myself a lot, the boys take me down, but usually they end up giving up because I can't show feelings, even if I feel them. That's how things with my great love failed. However, it is difficult for me to fall in love, I do not have high criteria, I do not even have specific ones, but in any case I am disgusted by the simplicity. Also for serious relationships - I can't be with someone just because he likes me, etc ... I take these things very seriously, because for me a serious relationship means to give yourself to this person, and I say that , I find it hard to trust someone and it's not like that for me. I often prefer more superficial and non-binding relationships because it does not take away my freedom. I see that you also have a problem with expressing feelings, and most of it scares him. They decide you don't want them and give up. But I don't know, or you haven't met a suitable one, or you have to work on it with the expression.
And I was as misunderstood and melancholic as a teenager. He comes from the family. If they don't pay attention to you or quarrel over everything. Then, when life grabbed me, I forgot that I was lonely, misunderstood. Everything will be alright. And such early serious relationships don't go far. Don't envy them.
I'm well armed, now I have to take a spray against admins, so that they don't interfere with our personal data exchange here ... Now seriously: you know why you are alone, but you write here. You know about your stubbornness, you know how previous wounds have marked you. I'm not your ex, Ivan, Gosho and other readers of the site or users of social networks / dating sites are not either. As long as you surround yourself with a fence as tall as the Tower of Babel, no one will win you over. Do you know why? If he is a tailor, he prefers easy tasks and will give up. If he suffered like me, he will dump you on the first repulsion and look for another. Do you know why? Because it reminds him of his past and you automatically become what the men in your head are. And who wants to repeat the suffering? So who can help you if you don't help yourself? Who will be this nepukist who will be repulsed, and he will insist and insist without receiving even the slightest hope? Probably a Tibetan monk. I believe that inside you are a decent person, that's why I wrote to you. Change and stop seeing ghosts! While everyone new to you is someone old, you will go to sites like this one where you can only complain, but not solve your problems. You will pour out your soul and then what? Will you be happy? Give them a second chance, don't be so stubborn with everyone. The third chance is unnecessary if the suitor has died twice. But when you despair at the first one, don't expect him to try again! Knowing how things are for a woman to be alone, she has helped herself a lot. Women today have the choices I would like as a man. In all this hustle and bustle, he seemed to be sensible enough, but you drove him away without giving him a chance. Not everyone is a knight, but not only the knights of white horses deserve to be with you. Give someone a chance and just see you surprise!
Boy - I'm in a situation like yours - only I've stopped looking for a while - I don't believe it - but we can exchange thoughts if you want - Mithridates Vates