Hello, I'm a boy of 21 and she's 20. We've been together for 5 years, we really loved each other, we shared absolutely everything, but I also hurt her a lot. I thought she would never leave me ... Last year at that time we were very cold and there was a boy who was constantly pushing her (he is from her class and does the same with every better girl). She liked him a little and after I pushed her away she decided to cheat on me with him. They went out with him several times and another boy and girl in their class. They kissed several times and nothing more. He didn't pay enough attention to her, I found out about him, I said, and she decided she was wrong, that she was sorry, and asked us to make amends. This year she went to study in Sofia. She realized what I was limiting her with - she constantly had to comply with me, where, with whom and what she did, for drinking, smoking, etc. And I have approached a little more rudely to explain to her that some things are not good and right, but she is like children - the more it is forbidden, the more she wants it and until she shakes her head ... There the boy in question from last year has been looking for her again for a whole year. The last month we had to separate (not to see each other for a whole month) and in the second week she served me that she would go out with her friend from the old class and he would come (he was intrusive and maybe so). Whereupon I got angry and told her to do what she wanted, but I was furious. I didn't call her the next day. She called me and told me that several people from the old class would gather and he was there. I told her it wouldn't happen and I didn't want to see her again. The next day I realized my mistake, but it was too late. She told me, that after I pushed her away, she was again strongly attracted to him and wanted to go out with him to sort out her feelings, to find out exactly what she was feeling. They went out a few times, they kissed, he told her, "If you want to know if you're going to feel good, you have to try." He lit her spark and returned to our city and never called her again. She started to fall in love a lot, she lost her feelings for me. Now, she has been in our city for 2 weeks, but she still can't decide ... She goes out with his company, goes to a disco with them ... I am patient because I love her very much. I also promised to change everything I was wrong about. Now she can't decide. At one point she tells me I want to get better and forget that he wants to help her do it. The next one, he calls her and she loses her mind and her words. He once even told me that he doesn't know if it's possible for him to regain his feelings for me ... All this is greatly influenced by his girlfriends with advice like: "Watch your fun, let them get better" "Be selfish, don't comply with anyone" it is not and should not be. Because I have suffered a hell of a lot from all this and I am already on the edge ... What do you think Can things be fixed?
Answers 12
Things could get better if you both change (grow up). So nothing will come out of this mind, it will get even worse.
OMG man, how do you put up with it? Look, I'm a girl, but I'll give you some advice that will make her make that decision very quickly at last. For starters - STOP looking for her, but really! Even say that you are already tired of playing this game and if he wants to be with you, he will look for you, but faster, because you will not wait for him for the rest of his life. If she loves you, she will change her mind and come back to you during this time, if she stays with the other one and tells you again that she is not sure what she wants - stop all contacts with her !!! Now you are in love, blinded .... BUT don't let her turn you on her finger like that. She may not be sure all day ... why should she use you? Why should you waste valuable time on it? Think about it ... when you finally break up, it doesn't mean that you will always be alone ... You can flirt with others at will until you meet true love, you may be left alone until you meet love. Just don't let it spin on your little finger. Tell her you're tired already, and decide. AND DON'T SOFTEN IN FRONT OF HER !! Success! I hope my advice helps you!
This relationship will not be her, but if you want, have fun with the chick while you can. I can quote half of your confession - it is full of such unequivocal signals, but I will only fast this one: "She began to fall in love a lot, she lost feelings for me." What more do you want to tell you ?? You are the reserve and you are waiting for her with open arms. You are there unconditionally. She doesn't know why, but she doesn't want to be with you anymore. Her instincts tell her to look for the other - he wants her, but she still doesn't have him. In my opinion, things will get more expensive with him, but in time. I tell you again - have fun and do not raise your expectations, no matter what happens! Name one place after which the relationship is "beyond repair", ie. whatever you do, you can't accumulate red dots. Good luck and I hope I'm wrong!
It struck me that girls fall for boys who behave like that with them. So the more you walk on her ass, the less attractive you will be to her. I won't even forget once an acquaintance how one came to him and he called her: "Abe, you're beautiful, but next time you should wear make-up and high heels." Well, my god fucked her in the morning and didn't call her again, on the other hand, she looked for him safely 5 times a day. Now you're going to attack me for sure, not all women were like that ... well, I thought so too, but something else is coming out.
Abe, split her up to stop harassing the girl! You are not old enough for a serious relationship. I will be too, and I will cool down to you, if every time I go out somewhere, you tell me that you don't want to see me anymore. Horror! It has no stability, no security, nothing. And at least she's sincere - she even had the courage to tell you she was in love with someone else. Good morning, this happens to everyone sooner or later, and especially at this age and with such a "man" on the contrary - quite. Was he patient? Haha, where's that patience that something got lost between the lines. The fact that you are constantly harassing her and you have not completely given up on her does not make you patient, but a total egoist. D.
Abe, split her up to stop harassing the girl! You are not old enough for a serious relationship. I will be too, and I will cool down to you, if every time I go out somewhere, you tell me that you don't want to see me anymore. Horror! It has no stability, no security, nothing. And at least she's sincere - she even had the courage to tell you she was in love with someone else. Good morning, this happens to everyone sooner or later, and especially at this age and with such a "man" on the contrary - quite. Was he patient? Haha, where's that patience that something got lost between the lines. The fact that you are constantly harassing her and you have not completely given up on her does not make you patient, but a total egoist. D.
LEAVE IT. Once the pot is cracked, it will NEVER be WHOLE.
Well, I agree with 2 and 3, but think a little about yourself. Don't look for "under the ox calf". In my opinion, the fact that you walk (you walked) does not give you the right to forbid her to do anything. If she wants to behave like babies. You are not the person who will tell her what to do and what not to do. And for now, I think you should let her think a little about who she'll be better off with. Let her try the other one, because I think if you really love her, you'll want her to be happy, even if she's not with you. If the boy you described is really like that, she will understand. Just give her some time. And tell her that if she makes a decision once, there is no going back !! So let her think a little too ... Is it worth it?
And he was a young man !!! I apologize for the address, but as soon as I read the title and that you are 21 years old, I was quite angry. It took me back years when I was having a hard time and now I'm sorry. Life is in front of you, look and act boldly forward. Remember that there is nothing more fleeting than love - there is responsibility and in your case there is nothing complicated and sad
He was an inexperienced boy, but don't go too deep so he doesn't become chronic. Let me describe to you exactly what is happening to you two. She has seen great Sofia, met many men and is in "flight" as it is called. In order to make sense and justify all this, that is, to cheat on you, she must find an excuse. And so the delusion arises that she did these things for you. But in reality, it wasn't because of you, it was just the change, that's what she wants. You, on the other hand, have no idea what to do and naively believe the words and even agree that you are wrong somewhere, just not to lose it :) If you are at least a little smart, you will delete her phone, you will not communicate with her and you will you try to live your life without her, because obviously and guaranteed, from now on any contact with her will bring you a lot of pain and suffering. If you continue like this, one day you will not know where you are, you may even go crazy. Therefore, do not believe what he tells you, because he is fooling you. Good luck.
So what did you attack him with now? Isn't the girl more experienced ??? They are of the same mind, and she thinks the world revolves around her. Author, you will experience it peacefully, just ask! Tell her to hurry with her decision, and if she's still hanging on to you, dump her! No sense, move on! Success!
If you really love her, fight for her with all your might.