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Have I Hurt My Sister Mentally?

By omn0se September 01, 2020 21 answers Last updated September 01, 2020

Hello, this event from my early years comes back from time to time and kind of haunts me. It's about the following - when I was about 14 and my sister was about 7, one day we were home alone. She wanted us to play with a pillow fight, and even though I was big, I agreed. At one point while we were playing, I started tickling her and impulsively the thought came to tickle her between my legs and I did it (not exactly between, but a little to the side, but still close). I remember I was kind of wondering if he would react differently. Then she said to me "but I'm fine here", I got scared and asked her in surprise "Where?" And she showed me. And that's basically it ... Nothing else happened, I wasn't aroused by my sister or anything like that. However, the event itself somehow makes me feel guilty and worries me. Today I have a good relationship with my sister, we understand each other and we trust each other, so I tend to accept that what I did did not hurt her ... Somehow I am ashamed to ask her forgiveness, because such a conversation would be hellishly strange. since she is almost 19 ... So .. when I share my relief, I hope someone can tell if this is 'normal' somehow during growing up. Personally, I think that if I haven't continued to do it and I have realized my mistake, everything is more or less fine ... but emotionally I still can't fully realize it. by sharing my relief, I hope someone can tell if this is 'normal' somehow during growing up. Personally, I think that if I haven't continued to do it and I have realized my mistake, everything is more or less fine ... but emotionally I still can't fully realize it. by sharing my relief, I hope someone can tell if this is 'normal' somehow during growing up. Personally, I think that if I haven't continued to do it and I have realized my mistake, everything is more or less fine ... but emotionally I still can't fully realize it.

Answers 21

1
simonesickwolf_official answered · September 01, 2020

   No, you didn't hurt your sister mentally. What happened is completely normal, it happens in 99% of families and people go on with their lives. It is not appropriate to talk about this with your sister, because she probably just forgot and will think that you are making it up or want to? you make fun of / hurt yourself. However, you are mentally injured by what happened because you are being persecuted. I think it is good to consult a psychologist, because it may interfere with your social and love life. If you don't have problems - well, then you haven't hurt. For information - quite naturally such things happen between heterosexual family members. Your sister was closer to her nature and told you the truth - yes, it's nice to touch a woman, a girl there, but that doesn't mean that she or you have experienced something sexual towards each other - it's all subconscious. It's good that you didn't go on, that you left things like that. However, it is good to say to yourself that this is normal, involuntary when playing and you have nothing to be ashamed of. Love your sister freely - she is your sister, flesh of your flesh. Don't feel overwhelmed by your love, because your relationship with her will be the longest in your life. Nothing bad happened. P.P. If you are looking for the culprits for what happened, you should look for them in the face of your parents who did not educate you sexually and did not explain the most basic things to you. Both you and she were at an age when someone had to explain "where babies come from." If you had been enlightened by your father and she by her mother in "these things," this incident would hardly have happened! You would respect your sister's different sex, instead of satisfying your curiosity - not to her personally, but to gender? All the unenlightened heterosexual siblings have had such "incidents," you just remember because you were 14. Even what happened was the normal reaction of two heterosexual INNOCENT beings. And she would have known it was normal to? it's nice when she touches intimately, but she shouldn't let anyone else touch her there at that age. You were both kind of ignorant creatures - even her reaction was more of a question "why am I good there?" Your mother and father have failed in your sex education and today the consequences are there! (compulsive guilt in you). In this case, the victim is you, not your sister - she does not remember and lives her life. All the unenlightened heterosexual siblings have had such "incidents," you just remember because you were 14. Even what happened was the normal reaction of two heterosexual INNOCENT beings. And she would have known it was normal to? it's nice when she touches intimately, but she shouldn't let anyone else touch her there at that age. You were both kind of ignorant creatures - even her reaction was more of a question "why am I good there?" Your mother and father have failed in your sex education and today the consequences are there! (compulsive guilt in you). In this case, the victim is you, not your sister - she does not remember and lives her life. All the unenlightened heterosexual siblings have had such "incidents," you just remember because you were 14. Even what happened was the normal reaction of two heterosexual INNOCENT beings. And she would have known it was normal to? it's nice when she touches intimately, but she shouldn't let anyone else touch her there at that age. You were both kind of ignorant creatures - even her reaction was more of a question "why am I good there?" Your mother and father have failed in your sex education and today the consequences are there! (compulsive guilt in you). In this case, the victim is you, not your sister - she does not remember and lives her life. that it is normal to? it's nice when she touches intimately, but she shouldn't let anyone else touch her there at that age. You were both kind of ignorant creatures - even her reaction was more of a question "why am I good there?" Your mother and father have failed in your sex education and today the consequences are there! (compulsive guilt in you). In this case, the victim is you, not your sister - she does not remember and lives her life. that it is normal to? it's nice when she touches intimately, but she shouldn't let anyone else touch her there at that age. You were both kind of ignorant creatures - even her reaction was more of a "why am I good there?" Question. Your mother and father failed in your sex education, and today the consequences are there! (compulsive guilt in you). In this case, you are the victim, not your sister - she does not remember and lives her life.

2
slicenanddice answered · September 01, 2020

   I think if you talk to your sister, you will be wrong, because you will bring her back to something that she does not remember and that did not hurt her, but you will show her that you are confused and that will confuse and hurt her as well. You certainly need to discuss this, number one correctly advises you to be a psychologist. And if during your conversations with an expert you understand that your sister should also know - then you can talk to her, but it is better for a specialist to advise you about this. It will be extremely shocking for her. BUT who knows, you can get even closer when you say this to yourself and when you clear it up, even alone because it weighs on you. Many things you can't tell us here need to be considered before you tell her - consult someone to whom you will tell more.

3
majstro answered · September 01, 2020

   I fully support №1, you don't have to worry. It happened unintentionally, and she doesn't even remember it. Shake off the memory and don't worry!

4
amy_gold answered · September 01, 2020

   And I think she's forgotten about what happened a long time ago, and you better not bother. I think most people have had such embarrassing situations with her brother, her cousin, etc., but we all know that these are some kind of childhood stories and curiosity. It's ridiculous to bother and think about this thing. Ana

5
vegardharm answered · September 01, 2020

   I fully share the opinion of №1

6
prado_man answered · September 01, 2020

   You didn't hurt her. I think you remember because it was an erotic experience for you and now you remember it because you like it. Maybe deep down you want sex with your sister.

7
annee_clark answered · September 02, 2020

   Me, you didn't even hurt her at all. She may even have forgotten. Do not worry!!

8
hawkeyehuey answered · September 02, 2020

   (author) Thank you very much for the comments! To number 1 and those who support it: Our parents are really quite conservative and have never personally explained to me about "bees and ladybugs". When I was 12-13 they gave me a book with explanations about sex and told me to look at it if I wanted to and that was basically it. And at that age I was already quite familiar with other sources (friends, movies) with the topic. Even when I had a boyfriend of 16, they scolded me a little, because I was going to ruin my success in school anyway ... anyway, I don't blame them, because if I blame them, I have to blame their parents too ... my father doesn't he got along with his grandfather in general, for example. number 2: No more in history, that is. We have never had other such 'sexual' experiences, or even something like that. After this incident, I became very self-conscious while I was around her and even backed away a bit during the games. I just live with that memory ... number 6: I remember being scared that I had crossed a line. I really don't remember seeing this as an erotic experience. Otherwise, to be honest, I once had an erotic dream in which my sister somehow intervened, but I had some in which my mother also intervened. However, I do not pay attention to dreams, because I have had them with men (I am heterosexual), as well as even more strange and perverted. in which my sister somehow intervened, but I had some in which my mother also intervened. However, I do not pay attention to dreams, because I have had them with men (I am heterosexual), as well as even more strange and perverted. in which my sister somehow intervened, but I had some in which my mother also intervened. However, I do not pay attention to dreams, because I have had them with men (I am heterosexual), as well as even more strange and perverted.

9
katty_lovee_ answered · September 02, 2020

   Dear boy, forget this accidental and completely natural incident. Nothing bad happened. Calm down and live calmly. Congratulations on your love and concern for her! You are the greatest brother. She is happy! Keep it and love it always and forget the children's antics, as we have all done.

10
anilorak answered · September 03, 2020

   Number 6, what nonsense are you talking about !!!!

11
fudbalskisavezsrbije answered · September 03, 2020

   Don't talk to her about this, you will do something out of nothing! Nothing happened in the end that you really had to worry about ... you didn't force her or anything. She was small, she was the first to get to know her body, she didn't know what was going on and why she was fine 'there' ... so, such blunders happen, don't worry.

12
sexy_girl_amy answered · September 04, 2020

   I doubt she forgot, because I haven't forgotten, and sometimes I'm tormented by the "incident" with my brother, a little younger than me. I'm really angry with my parents for not paying attention to educating us. My husband "suffers" from a similar incident in his childhood. Never talk to your sister, you will probably embarrass her and you may become alienated. You are big people now and she knows it was a childish interest. You didn't hurt her, or hurt her, or anything. But we still need to know that such things should not happen, because they are remembered for a lifetime, at least, and not pleasant.

13
lilypichu answered · September 04, 2020

   (author) Thanks a lot to the next commenters! I just hope my sister doesn't read share :)

14
daisyamore answered · September 04, 2020

   People are different. Some are more emotional, others are more rational. Something similar has happened to almost everyone. If you are more emotional, this would leave a trace of unpleasant taste. If you're naughty, you'll even look at it with scorn, and you won't care at all. In this case, the author seems emotional to me. That is why the incident left a mark. I don't know about his sister. He knows her. If she's like him - she's probably tormented too, if she's not - she's not tormented (but by no means has she forgotten). My advice is to judge what type your sister is. If he is a non-graduate, share with her. This will make it easier for you. If she's as emotional as you are, don't leave everything to time.

15
cute18cute answered · September 05, 2020

   (the author) 15, thanks for the comment :) Yes, at times I am quite emotional, I have happened to be depressed (not only because of this incident). That's why at one point my sister and I had the idea of ​​suicide, which on a rational level I know is absolute nonsense, because even if it left a bad mark, it's not so big that I have to punish myself in this way. However, emotions cannot be controlled in such "reasonable" ways and I was 'deep down', all sorts of disgusting and totally strange and frightening thoughts passed through me. Sometimes, however, I am more rational, my work, for example, requires a lot of logical thinking (it is related to mathematics). By the way, my sister seems to be more emotional, but even if she's not as much as me, I honestly don't want to tell her ... Sometimes I thought of asking her for forgiveness just for past events. ie not to tell her exactly what, but just about all the past things that may have left her a bad memory ...

16
hornygirll221 answered · September 05, 2020

   But a trickster - to ask for forgiveness in principle - you think you will wash your hands, but it will not work, because it bites you from within and will continue to bite you from within - not she should forgive you, but you should forgive yourself . Accept that some guilt lasts a lifetime and don't worry about your sister - she may have forgotten. She thinks that by keeping silent on this issue you are doing her good - in this way you will atone for your guilt and in time you will get peace on this issue.

17
gazzetta_it answered · September 05, 2020

   (author) 17, thank you ... Maybe you're right. Honestly, I don't know how I lived with this memory for more than 10 years without anything and suddenly it just came to the surface and started to bother me.

18
goddessjojo answered · September 05, 2020

   I am the 15th commenter. After reading your response to my comment, I definitely think you have a problem with your emotionality. In reality, nothing like that has happened. But you do it as a big problem. You make an elephant out of a fly. Under no circumstances should anyone blame you. You don't have to blame yourself either! I repeat, nothing happened. It's just that your brain (your thinking) is playing tricks on you. And of course, don't raise the issue with your sister. The solution: You must visit a specialist to detach you from these thoughts. You may need to take medication. But that's perfectly fine. I have many people, friends and relatives around me who have the same emotionality. Believe me, in order to have a normal life, you have to help yourself, starting with a specialist (psychologist, psychiatrist). With the help of drugs, you will fix your emotionality. Emotional and rational thinking are like connected vessels. Both must be at 50%. When the emotional peaks, the rational tends to 0%, and then the obsessive thoughts begin. Therefore, always keep rational thinking on a level. Always do something, count, draw, sing, play, run, walk, play badminton, football, dance. Everything is in your hands. This is how to get out of these states. With perseverance and commitment. Success! This is how to get out of these states. With perseverance and commitment. Success! This is how to get out of these states. With perseverance and commitment. Success!

19
charlottelopez answered · September 06, 2020

   (author) 19, thank you for the comment! Yes, maybe at some point I will go to a psychologist / psychiatrist. In fact, a long time ago I went to one because I had obsessive thoughts, but of a different nature. He prescribed me valerian and I drank it for about 2 weeks, but I think that the very visit to him affected me more than the medicine. Just like some authority tells you that you are "normal" and you stop being afraid and the anxiety drops many times. Otherwise, my thoughts are often super-rational. For example, at one point I wondered why if my sister was like all the other girls anatomically, I didn't feel sexually attracted to her. As long as these thoughts run through me, so do the "scary" ones - "what if I start to feel sexually attracted to her?" And the like. Which makes me anxious, which is related to incest. And so on ... there is a ball of thoughts and emotions that, by generating anxiety, are self-sustaining and the only way to get rid of them is simply to consciously think about something different. In my opinion, my problem is that my thinking is psychopathic, quite rational, and my emotions are normal. If my emotions were psychopathic, I probably wouldn't have a problem. Otherwise, that's why I do, as you say, different things, for example, every day I ride a bike for many kilometers to work and back, and when I go out somewhere, I also play the guitar. However, when I was left somewhere alone with my thoughts, I fell into some obsessive schemes. I will force myself even more to diversify my daily life !!! Thank you again :) I already know that I didn't have to read Freud at 13 ... there is a ball of thoughts and emotions that generate anxiety and are self-sustaining, and the only way to eliminate them is simply to consciously think about something different. In my opinion, my problem is that my thinking is psychopathic, quite rational, and my emotions are normal. If my emotions were psychopathic, I probably wouldn't have a problem. Otherwise, that's why I do, as you say, different things, for example, every day I ride a bike for many kilometers to work and back, and when I go out somewhere, I also play the guitar. However, when I was left somewhere alone with my thoughts, I fell into some obsessive schemes. I will force myself even more to diversify my daily life !!! Thank you again :) I already know that I didn't have to read Freud at 13 ... there is a ball of thoughts and emotions that generate anxiety and are self-sustaining, and the only way to eliminate them is simply to consciously think of something different. In my opinion, my problem is that my thinking is psychopathic, quite rational, and my emotions are normal. If my emotions were psychopathic, I probably wouldn't have a problem. Otherwise, that's why I do, as you say, different things, for example, every day I ride a bike for many kilometers to work and back, and when I go out somewhere, I also play the guitar. However, when I was left somewhere alone with my thoughts, I fell into some obsessive schemes. I will force myself even more to diversify my daily life !!! Thank you again :) I already know that I didn't have to read Freud at 13 ... which, by generating anxiety, are self-sustaining and the only way to eliminate them is simply to force myself to consciously think of something different. In my opinion, my problem is that my thinking is psychopathic, quite rational, and my emotions are normal. If my emotions were psychopathic, I probably wouldn't have a problem. Otherwise, that's why I do, as you say, different things, for example, every day I ride a bike for many kilometers to work and back, and when I go out somewhere, I also play the guitar. However, when I was left somewhere alone with my thoughts, I fell into some obsessive schemes. I will force myself even more to diversify my daily life !!! Thank you again :) I already know that I didn't have to read Freud at 13 ... which, by generating anxiety, are self-sustaining and the only way to eliminate them is simply to force myself to consciously think of something different. In my opinion, my problem is that my thinking is psychopathic, quite rational, and my emotions are normal. If my emotions were psychopathic, I probably wouldn't have a problem. Otherwise, that's why I do, as you say, different things, for example, every day I ride a bike for many kilometers to work and back, and when I go out somewhere, I also play the guitar. However, when I was left somewhere alone with my thoughts, I fell into some obsessive schemes. I will force myself even more to diversify my daily life !!! Thank you again :) I already know that I didn't have to read Freud at 13 ... If my emotions were psychopathic, I probably wouldn't have a problem. Otherwise, that's why I do, as you say, different things, for example, every day I ride a bike for many kilometers to work and back, and when I go out somewhere, I also play the guitar. However, when I was left somewhere alone with my thoughts, I fell into some obsessive schemes. I will force myself even more to diversify my daily life !!! Thank you again :) I already know that I didn't have to read Freud at 13 ... If my emotions were psychopathic, I probably wouldn't have a problem. Otherwise, that's why I do, as you say, different things, for example, every day I ride a bike for many kilometers to work and back, and when I go out somewhere, I also play the guitar. However, when I was left somewhere alone with my thoughts, I fell into some obsessive schemes. I will force myself even more to diversify my daily life !!! Thank you again :) I already know that I didn't have to read Freud at 13 ...

20
bocarosabeauty answered · September 06, 2020

   Hello dear boy. I don't think you did something so wrong! Every boy and girl from babies learns to touch their bodies, like babies even. I watched in kindergarten how the boys showed their dignity. And I even read on the forums that mothers saw girls touching their clitoris. And there was a striking case, in 4th grade 2 our classmates had turned naked, but thank God they were still children. The teacher made us understand that it was not normal and punished them. this is not normal, but we are all in a hurry. In 4th grade, my cousin told me while we were playing that it was very nice to press with my finger between my legs. I knew it was wrong and I didn't, but then it just made me try. But after I stopped, our grandmother came in and found her. such a fight and threw that the bai remembered it. it's like kids don't know about sex and it really wasn't small, and about 6th grade. Of course, the children weren't as hot then as they are now, but she had heard it somewhere. And as a child I personally wanted to show my sister how to make love - like a child - because I was exactly your age and I remember with a lot of sadness and a little laughter, as I said, she accidentally learned that Daddy licks mom. I'm ashamed to say that now. I also showed on the cheek how they kiss. our mother boiled us and beat us with nettles. It also happened between brothers and sisters. Even one of my classmates told me that her cousin liked to play hide and seek when they were guests - and touched her - and this is already abnormal. :) Calmly, the breathers at this age are very sexual, the hormones are raging, but you were good and you stopped! And as a child I personally wanted to show my sister how to make love - like a child - because I was exactly your age and I remember with a lot of sadness and a little laughter, as I said, she accidentally learned that Daddy licks mom. I'm ashamed to say that now. I also showed on the cheek how they kiss. our mother boiled us and beat us with nettles. It also happened between brothers and sisters. Even one of my classmates told me that her cousin liked to play hide and seek when they were guests - and touched her - and this is already abnormal. :) Calmly, the breathers at this age are very sexual, the hormones are raging, but you were good and you stopped! And as a child I personally wanted to show my sister how to make love - like a child - because I was exactly your age and I remember with a lot of sadness and a little laughter, as I said, she accidentally learned that Daddy licks mom. I'm ashamed to say that now. I also showed on the cheek how they kiss. our mother boiled us and beat us with nettles. It also happened between brothers and sisters. Even one of my classmates told me that her cousin liked to play hide and seek when they were guests - and touched her - and this is already abnormal. :) Calmly, the breathers at this age are very sexual, the hormones are raging, but you were good and you stopped! our mother boiled us and beat us with nettles. It also happened between brothers and sisters. Even one of my classmates told me that her cousin liked to play hide and seek when they were guests - and touched her - and this is already abnormal. :) Calmly, the breathers at this age are very sexual, the hormones are raging, but you were good and you stopped! our mother boiled us and beat us with nettles. It also happened between brothers and sisters. Even one of my classmates told me that her cousin liked to play hide and seek when they were guests - and touched her - and this is already abnormal. :) Calmly, the breathers at this age are very sexual, the hormones are raging, but you were good and you stopped!

21
missyelliott answered · September 06, 2020

   You have nothing to worry about and think about;)! Sometimes such things happen involuntarily :).