Hello! I recently broke up with the girl I loved so much! We were together for 4 years, to say that we have been together since we were little, but as they say, everything has an end. We parted by mutual consent because we felt bored. We had separated before, for the same reason, she had some brief relationship with another, I was dealing with others, etc. We met again, but the same problem came up, to some extent I was mostly to blame, I didn't pay much attention to her. , I am busy studying, working, etc. Now we are again divided by mutual consent, we do not hate each other, we are friends, we help each other, we see each other. She suggested that we take a break, no matter how long, and get back together. I told her I agreed, but as they say, you don't know where the wind will take you, and nothing is certain for either of us. Then she promised me strongly, that he will return. So ... what can I do, it's really hard for me, I think about it all the time. In general, I am a strong character, but she is my weakness, as I said we know each other from children, she was not just my boyfriend, she is my friend and a person I appreciate, me for her too. Have I lost this person or not?
Answers 6
You say it yourself - you are tired, that is, you are exhausted to each other and there is nothing more to give but drama, routine, quarrels, anger and sex to improve. This is how I see it in relation to the information you have given. My advice is to really take a break, but a real break. Tell yourself that you will connect with each other in a month, for example. During this time, do not meet, do not write to each other, just stop any contact, and you find some activities, go out with friends, have fun, work, study, but make an effort to really abstract from the thought of her. When you do this and spend some time without her presence in your life - and she without yours - you will understand if it makes sense to be together again. I don't think so. You are not suffering for her at the moment, but for her loss, because for so long it has been a constant in your world and now the thought of being alone terrifies you. Not that you love the girl so much.
You haven't lost her, at least not as a friend at this point. But it would not be bad if you decide to get together again, to visit a family counselor or psychologist to fix what is lame in your relationship as a couple. If you do not, sporadic meetings and divisions await you with no prospect of a serious and happy relationship.
You have friendly feelings, not love. There is no passion, no romance, nothing to do with a love affair. So, stay your friends ... after a while, however, because you still confuse passion with friendly feelings. Give yourself time and opportunity to assimilate your feelings and to break this false "relationship" out of duty, out of honesty, because you know each other from children, etc. You love each other, but not in this way. You didn't lose her, you probably made a lifelong friend.
Learn to be what you want your children to see in you. 'Go-Come' is not healthy for the growing or already grown individual. You need to clarify once and for all and have confidence. Tiredness will only tell you that it always happens to all people.
Friend, I am in exactly the same situation, except that my girlfriend and I have been together for 3 years and 8 months. I would advise you to move on. It is really very difficult, but one must be strong, and with friendship I will tell you only one thing - one cannot be friends with one who has had strong, huge and true feelings. Give yourself time, if it is yours, sooner or later it will return to you, but do not let hope subdue you and start suffering.
You don't say how old you are. If you started your relationship before you were 20, it makes sense to break up. You are still growing and shaping yourself as a person. And when that happens, it may turn out that you are already too different and not for each other. I think you will remain friends, but you will not have a relationship. If you have already cheated on yourself, what awaits you in the future?